Sm*rfING PISSED!!!

*I also posted this same topic in health and well being but i'm posting it here too so maybe i can get different answers or more people can read it*


Hi, i needed to vent and also get some advice.

This is a very long ongoing problem so I won't go into too much detail but I am willing if asked..

I am one of 5 children. My parents and I don't get along and theres alot more to it then just that. I'm a single mom with a 2 and 4 yr old.

OK so current issue/vent/last straw kinda thing well not kinda thing def. last straw is...

Last night i went out with my aunt who i hadn't seen in about 10 yrs.
The reason i hadn't seen her in 10 years is because my parents banned all of their kids from seeing or communicating with any relatives other then themselves. Why you might ask? Because they both themselves have alot of mental emotional and psychological issues and they didn't get along with their families in the past.

I don't even really know the story because they would never talk to me about it or they'd be very vague when i'd ask. My dad's side is only his one sister which are self inflicted disowned from eachother and only live 100 miles away from one another. My mother's side of the family her sister who i went out with last night (my aunt) and 2 other sisters that RARELY speak. None of them see eye to eye on pretty much anything. and one of them has disowned us completely. The aunt that i went out with has lived in the same city as me our whole lives, yet we only met a few times when i was younger. Last night we kinda talked about it and she told me it was my dad that kept us all apart. He's bipolar and also thinks he knows everything and there is absolutely no talking him. He just knows everything and is always right

I try and be respectful to my parents but with the way they treat me and my kids it's hard.

So i got home this morning and went to bed and woke up with a horrible text from my aunt that read "your mom found out we were drinking last night and called my sister and now they're all mad that i was with you so we can't talk at all anymore so i'm changing my number don't text or call me."
WOW? We had a great time the night before and this was a total shock.. i finally hung out with my 27 yr old aunt that has lived in the same place as myself for all our lives and after one day i'm black balled because of my mother??
IM FURIOUS!

So as i write this i'm writing down numbers for low income housing and hospitals and family support programs for the city i plan on moving to when i save up enough money(i'm a CNA and my last job paid great but the nursing home i'm at now is barely over minimum wage!) so it's gonna take awhile to save up enough but i'm going to the new city tomorrow and putting my name on any and every low income housing unit i can.

Tomorrow will be the last time i see my mom for the time being, possible forever. I HATE to have to say that but this dysfunction family bullsmurf is killing me and hurting my kids so it's a must do thing. I'm sick of it. I want a new start for my kids and i'm going to do everything in my power to make it happen.

ok. that was really long i hope someone can take the time to read it.
The advice i need(among many other things) is:
What are the basics of starting in a new city? I know to go to the ISD right away even though i might have to wait on that since i won't be going for awhile.
my kids are gonna be staying with the other side of the family *(their POS sperm donor's Grandmother while i work)* even though i don't want to it's my only other option for childcare at them moment. The only thing i'm worried about is his grandmother lying to me and telling me he's not gonna be there when he really is because I HATE HIM WITH A PASSION he abandoned his kids with no remorse for the girl he cheated on me with basically our entire 6 yr relationship/marriage. I do not want that thing he calls a gf around my kids.

SO, please someone respond and give me some insight?

unless theres a parenting plan he can bring his gf around HIS kids .


but if you are going to start in a new town have a job housing childcare setup before you go

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" unless theres a parenting plan he can bring his gf around HIS kids . but if you are going to start in a new town have a job housing childcare setup before you go"

Nope no parenting plan the bastard took me to court after a yr of not seeing them just to play the "dad of the year my ass part." LOL. then after about three visits i show up with the kids packed up ready to go see their sperm donor and they tell me he moved away! my son started crying! never again will i allow him to hurt my kids by being the in and out convenient for him sd that he is. He hasn't seen them in over a year he doesn't even live here. He cheated on me the whole time i was with him with this chick and they just had a baby a few months ago. He doesn't give a smurf about my kids. Thank God i signed some divorce papers and finally let the chick have her man she might as well have been the one married to the loser how much he cheated on me with her  

Quoting better off single:" Nope no parenting plan the bastard took me to court after a yr of not seeing them just to play the "dad ... [snip!] ... let the chick have her man she might as well have been the one married to the loser how much he cheated on me with her  "

you sound quite bitter

Very bitter that's kinda putting it lightly.

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" you sound quite bitter "

i'd be bitter if i've been through what she has, and my kids dad was a dirt bag too! Making false promises to a child is not ok especially when its about taking time out of your life to see your kid and then flake out and not come around for a entire year. I wouldn't really appreciate my children around someone like that either.

Quoting Hannah & Haylee's Mommy!:" i'd be bitter if i've been through what she has, and my kids dad was a dirt bag too! Making false promises ... [snip!] ... flake out and not come around for a entire year. I wouldn't really appreciate my children around someone like that either. "

 

yeah why would anyone want their kids around a guy with no job and years of empty and broken promises???
Thank you Hannah and Haylee's mom your an awesome person!

Quoting better off single:"   yeah why would anyone want their kids around a guy with no job and years of empty and broken promises??? Thank you Hannah and Haylee's mom your an awesome person!"

your welcome! I just don't like the baby daddy police, when they don't go through it. Not all parents deserve to be parents whether it be the mother who is a dead beat or the father. There are some smurffy people in this world, and everyone thinks that every DAD is entitled to the child even if he doesn't support them at all. I don't agree with it, you want to be a part of a child's life you are going to pay for half of the expenses! Easier said than done I know but its just my opinion!

Quoting Hannah & Haylee's Mommy!:" your welcome! I just don't like the baby daddy police, when they don't go through it. Not all parents ... [snip!] ... a part of a child's life you are going to pay for half of the expenses! Easier said than done I know but its just my opinion!"

Since your still with your childrens father have you been through it at all?....didnt think so ,As for baby daddy police lmao thats hilarious .To me theres more then her side of story .whos to say op is telling the truth whos to say shes not letting him see his kids .excuse me from looking in the gray areas rather then sticking to black and white like some  

<blockquote><b>Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:</b>" Since your still with your childrens father have you been through it at all?....didnt think so ,As for ... [snip!] ... not letting him see his kids .excuse me from looking in the gray areas rather then sticking to black and white like some  "</blockquote>
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No but ive certainly seen enough of my friends go through it knowing both sides andno I don't know she is telling the truth but I also don't understand why anyone would lie about someone making their childs cry because he flaked out. Everyone always assumes the mother is lying.that bothers me. Sorry

Oh trust me i've been through way more in my 22 years of life to know that not everything is black and white but thanks!!! I ABSOLUTELY do not let him see them and i have good reason for it. No child support no calls no asking about them breaking their innocent hearts so yes ma'am he WILL NOT see them. And i am completely smurfing honest about everything i said don't really care if you think so or not. Life is one big grey area!! You don't know everything so don't act like you do lol! How do you know about her life and what she's been through.. and baby daddy police is a perfect description for people like you. Yes there is more to my side of the story alot more who the hell doesn't have more to a situation?! Like YOU said there's shades of grey everywhere. But it still all adds up to the bottom line i made so thanks but no thanks!!

LOL i have nothing to prove to this chick so why would i lie anyway?? obviously i was trying to get my story out there and get advice from other people in similar situations even though it seems like mine is very few and far between. And i'm talking about my family situation not the sperm donor situation when i say few and far between.