I messed up really badly last night...

Last night, my SO took LO out for a little while, and I stayed home. I've been feeling so alone, like everything is piling on top of me. It seems like LO hates me and SO can't stand to be around me anymore. Long story short, I cut myself on my thigh. I had a huge problem with cutting throughout middle school in high school, but before last night, I hadn't done it in a year. I don't want to die, I just want to feel like a real person with real feelings. I want to talk to a counselor about it, and find a different way to get my depression out, but I'm afraid that they'll take my baby away. Can they do that? I would never hurt LO, and have never even had any thoughts of hurting LO either. I just need to find a way to get everything off of my mind without hurting myself, or risking leaving LO without a mother.. What can I do?

They aren't going to take your LO away because you are seeking help for your depression but they might if you let your depression get out of hand. Go talk to someone ASAP. Good luck mamma.

Talk to a doctor. They can't take your child away for that. Hut they CAN put you on anti depressant meds and recommend a counselor.

Don't worry. The first step is talking to someone and seeking help. Im sorry you're going through this.

have you tried talking to your SO about things?
Go talk to someone, whether it be a doctor or good friend just go talk to someone, you'll feel a lot better..

I have the same kinda problems.. I'm sorry, I hope things get better  

I'm not sure how it is where you are, but when I talked to mental health over the phone, they told me if I try to harm myself or LO that they would hospitalize me, until I get leveled out, but never said anything about taking her...

I see a couselor and psychiatrist for chronic depression I've been dealing with for a very long time. I also used to self harm frequently as a teenager. They will NOT take your child away from you. Call your hospital's psychiatric unit and schedule an appointment with a couselor. It feels amazing to talk to a person who won't judge you about your feelings. I wish you the best of luck. Also, sit down and try to talk to your SO.

GO GET HELP IMMEDIATELY!!!! Find a health professional and get help... So many people suffer from undiagnosed mental health issues now a days, I am bipolar and over the years have not been medicated, lets put it this way there where times that I count myself lucky that I'm here and still have my children!

I've heard those same voices in my head, my SO hates me or doesn't love me anymore my LO and I aren't bonding..... I will guarantee you your LO loves you more then the sun and stars honey!

Your SO is just that your SO he isn't there to make you happy, to save you to take care of you, you have to do those things yourself, just like you aren't there to make your SO happy or to save him, neither of you have the tools for that we are responsible for our own happiness, we need to save our self....

Go on line and find a group called the DBSA the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance... You can join live chat rooms on different topics there are professionals who run the group who can give good advice...... They also have meeting once a week in most city's you can go to for free, listen, talk if you want to see that you are not alone.

I'm not saying you have Bipolar but usual if you have suffered more then one or two episodes of depression they diagnose you with Bipolar.... There is nothing to be ashamed of it's in the food we eat the chemicals, pollution they cause chemical reactions in the brain.....A least that's what I tell people! It actually runs in my family, I've lost an Aunt to it!

It's OK to ask for help to seek help it doesn't make you insane it makes you sane for seeking help to be better...
Good luck
Jenn
PS Just encase you couldn't find it
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_bipolar_overview&gclid=CI3g4KenxbACFUQUKgod2TAXWQ

Quoting Donna Reisner:" I'm not sure how it is where you are, but when I talked to mental health over the phone, they told me ... [snip!] ... I try to harm myself or LO that they would hospitalize me, until I get leveled out, but never said anything about taking her..."

Yeah don't tell them your going to harm your LO! but do tell them that you self mutilate or you did in the past and do not want to resort to that again.... Time's have changed darling, you would pretty much have to be dealing crack to your LO's before the court will take a child away from their mother......

You are a married woman with a child there is no reason for you to worry, you aren't so bad that they would put you away, even when people go to the hospital and ask for help cause your afraid your going to kill yourself they sometimes don't take you in....... If you have a regular GP or a clinic you can go to and talk directly to a GP they can sometimes direct you, in a previous post I gave you a link to a group that can really help you go to that link!

Thank you for your replies everyone, they took a load off of my shoulders. I will be calling to talk to someone tomorrow.

Good Girl! I've been there hon and only you can change where you are right now! It feels hard and it is hard but do it for yourself first and then for your family! I'm sending you positive energy!
Jenn