re: Failed Kingarden

Quoting Christy61607:“ till you have a kid with the problems my kid has then i dont think you should judge me i notice there ... [snip!] ... before when i found out that he was failing i asked her if there was things i could do to help and i would do those things”

I wasn't "judging" you... simply telling it how I see it. If that offends you then that's too bad. I'm entitled to my opinion(s). I will tell you my opinion whether you like it or not, and whether it is "nice" or not if you post something in a public forum. Get used to it!!! its called Freedom of Speech.

You say that you misspelled it on accident and you know how to spell because you have a high school diploma... well, I know this isn't school and we're not being graded, but I bet if you took the post that I'm replying to and gave it to a teacher to correct you would see a BUNCH of red marks all over it... I'm not just talking about you not putting in punctuation where necessary either... I mean I'll even give you that. But the grammar and words that you use that aren't in the correct tense and spelling... come on, you're an adult.

Regardless of what you call your child at home I don't buy the excuse that you didn't know he should know how to spell his first name... come on, give me a fucking break, seriously! Why would you not teach him how to spell his full name?? Just because he has a nickname?! That's RIDICULOUS.

You say that he did bring his work home... Well, was it not graded?? Did you not see that he was doing poorly?? If not then maybe you should go see an eye doctor or something. I mean seriously! You admitted to him bringing work home, I'm sure the teacher put some sort of grade on there... plus some sort of a statement whether it was positive or negative. They don't just do that in first grade... or high school. They do it in kindergarten as well.

You're not taking any blame in this, instead you're trying to pass it on to the teacher. Be a grown adult and own up to your mistakes. There is no reason that you shouldn't.

Quoting Christy61607:“ well before you seat here and talk about some one you should look up what addhd does to people because ... [snip!] ... i think you need to read what i wrote beforethat is what i was asking how to do tell him i didn ask who in the hell you blame”

its SIT not seat... a seat is something you SIT on... such as the floor, chair, bed or whatever. Sitting is something that you do.

ADD or ADHD may make it harder for one to concentrate but that doesn't mean that it is a reason that they should fail a grade... especially kindergarten.

She knows you were asking how to tell him... Since you've gotten some responses you could have told him by now... that's why she was asking if YOU did, because you've yet to say if you have or not. Maybe you should not be so ignorant.  

This post is still going, eh?

Bottom line is this: Your child did not pass kindergarten for reasons that seem as though they could've been avoided by YOU actually having some input in your child's life. Too bad you didn't, and maybe you've learned a lesson now that it's too late. I hope and pray your child can get the help that he needs and deserves. Maybe you'll grow up and realize you need some help as well.

Quoting SMFantastic:“ This post is still going, eh? Bottom line is this: Your child did not pass kindergarten for reasons ... [snip!] ... and pray your child can get the help that he needs and deserves. Maybe you'll grow up and realize you need some help as well.”

   

Quoting Christy61607:“ till you have a kid with the problems my kid has then i dont think you should judge me i notice there ... [snip!] ... before when i found out that he was failing i asked her if there was things i could do to help and i would do those things”

Seriously, if it was the teacher's fault wouldn't most of the kids in the class have failed too? Its not the teacher's fault. And I think its BS to blame ADHD or ADD whichever he has. My nephew has Asperger's syndrome( a mild form of Autism) and ADHD. He has been on the honor roll for 2 years, working on number 3. My SIL is very active in his achool, talks to his teacher regularly and works hard to make sure he is getting a proper education.

Quoting jenandreece:“ Seriously, if it was the teacher's fault wouldn't most of the kids in the class have failed too? Its ... [snip!] ... SIL is very active in his achool, talks to his teacher regularly and works hard to make sure he is getting a proper education.”

THANK YOU!  

HA! OP... I don't have to have a child that has ADD or ADHD to know its possible for them to succeed.... Look at her post, she has a nephew who not only has ADHD but has another disability as well and STILL does WELL in school.

How do you explain him (your son) not passing now?? Still going to blame it on the teacher??

Quoting babygaga_mommy:“ THANK YOU!   HA! OP... I don't have to have a child that has ADD or ADHD to know its possible for ... [snip!] ... and STILL does WELL in school. How do you explain him (your son) not passing now?? Still going to blame it on the teacher??”

My son has a more severe form of autism, he can't speak full sentences just phrases, but we're working on it. And he knows how tp spell his full name first, middle and last. Trust me, I know that its hard to have a child with any kind of special needs. You really do have to work harder than other parents to make sure your child is getting the help and attention he needs. I go to preschool with my son every friday, and at the end of this school year I will be going to his new kindergarten class every friday afternoon so he can get used to the new building and the teacher. It has taken a lot of work, this is the 3rd school we've gone to so we could find people that will really work with us and be more flexible for HIS needs.

Quoting jenandreece:“ My son has a more severe form of autism, he can't speak full sentences just phrases, but we're working ... [snip!] ... this is the 3rd school we've gone to so we could find people that will really work with us and be more flexible for HIS needs.”

I'm not saying it doesn't take more work... but as your son and nephew show it is possible to have disabilities and still be as smart as other children that don't have those disabilities.

They prove that the OP needs to step up her game and help her son out more.

Quoting Ally (♥'sBrycen):“ You dont even fucking know what it's called!! It is either ADHD or ADD, not a mix of the two. What ... [snip!] ... NOT correct Dipshit, do some research. The meds could be doing more bad than good. Why don't you look up some other remedies.”

OMG thank you! I was reading the OPs posts and I was getting so mad it's either ADD or ADHD! How the hell did they diagnose your son if you don't even know the name of his disorder?! Face it, you are the reason Tony is back in kindergarten!

Quoting (34 weeks) ynotjeska:“ OMG thank you! I was reading the OPs posts and I was getting so mad it's either ADD or ADHD! How the ... [snip!] ... diagnose your son if you don't even know the name of his disorder?! Face it, you are the reason Tony is back in kindergarten!”

Yeah, she's about as intelligent as her son her failed kindergarten.

Wow, okay I just finnished reading this.... and this is nothing BUT excuses as to why you didn't know your kid was failing Kindergarden.... Maybe this is just me, but I would be more involved in my childs schooling... My daughter is 3 and can count, do her ABC's, knows her colors, and soon she will be reading and know how to write... These are standards that I have set up for my daughter because I care about her education. You can come on here with your friend who in every single post, had some new excuse as to why you didn't know... get real.... I think you need to pay more attention to your son and what he does in school... Obviously if he has ADHD he needs more attention than other kids, because he's not going to pick it up right away... I would know somthing about ADD & ADHD, because I have a brother who has it, and you know what? He failed school, he dropped out, and you know who I blame? My parents... because they were too lazy to get off their ass's and help him understand... if it was something that they didn't know, they could have talked to the school and gotten a tutor.. hell I had one in JR High... and if you go through the school, you don't have to pay for it... hmmm.... So maybe you should just quit making excuses and own up to the fact that you didn't prepare your son for kindergarden and you didn't help him through... As someone who knows people who have failed or been kept back in Kindergarden, they are just going to resent you for it anyways....

Okay, so I am late to the table, but I've been MIA a few days, and this post was brought to my attention...

1st- OP, failing kindergarten doesn't mean that your child will forever be damned to the depths of depression or sub par education. There are many children whose parents opt to keep them OUT of kindergarted until late. My cousin is one of those women who did not start kindergarten until the age of 7 (when the law required that her mother send her to school) and she is now a middle school teacher with a master's degree in education and working on her PhD.
Explaining to your child "Hey, this is a consequence of not doing what is necessary to move forward, next year you WILL do better in school. You WILL behave appropriately towards the other children and teachers. You WILL be checked at home and punished for not doing it- so take it like a little man, and buck up.This is a second chance and you won't get another one." will go pretty far.
OP, ADD/ADDHD does not mean that your child is handicapped. By using the disorder as a platform to complain that your child is being unfairly singled out and held back due to a disability- you are doing your child a disservice.
Your child is no different than any other child with the disorder, and and as someone who has lived with severe ADD all her life, I feel uniquely qualified to interject on your child's behalf. Children with ADD are often some of the brightest in the class. They are bored, easily distracted and a bit too creative for their own good. Imagine how frustrated your son must be that he is not being stimulated to learn AT HOME... The style of learning in the public school systems in particular are often slower paced and therefore unable to keep the attention of an ADD child long enough to get the information retained.
When I was in 4th grade, I had a teacher call my mother and tell her "Meredith needs to be in special ed. She is mentally handicapped, and I am positive that is why she isn't passing most of her classes... She has social problems too." At that point my mother (a public school teacher herself) goes "I am pretty sure she isn't retarded. She reads a lot, she is extremely creative, she can talk to adults... I don't know what is wrong with her at school."
and off to a counselor I went, where it was diagnosed within 15 minutes "She's not dumb.. she has ADD, look at her... she focuses only when focused on... " And it was true.. the second the conversation was not directed at me, I zoned out...
Ritilan is a godsend for me. It was expected that I would grow out of it, but I didn't... I just got bigger and the issues more apparent as I aged if I didn't take my meds.
Things like "This English teacher hates me... So I'll write my report backwards and in purple crayon to annoy her." in high school. (yes, I really did that, and I made her hold it up to a mirror to read and grade it.)
But somehow through all the fights and tears, I graduated with a 3.5 GPA from high school, got a dual seal for college my senior year, gained scholarships and a BS in microbiology where I graduated with a 3.98 over all average from college. (thats with honor) and not once did my ADD hold me back. In fact, my creativity was celebrated once I was outside of the constraints of the public school system. And I'll bet your kid can be the same way...

Its true that you will most likely have to watch your son more carefully in the academic arena... He's going to be harder to rationalize with than Johnny Do-good next door who isn't an ADD kid. You will have more responsibilites and aggrevations because your child is special- and I say special because he is. HE IS BRIGHT. I don't think I have ever met an ADD kid who wasn't exceptionally bright... He is just unfocused, and meds will only do the main part to keeping him on track- Medicine is not a cure all.
You will have to think faster, harder, and more outside of the box than you ever have in your life to keep your kid on track. But if you don't, you will watch him sink. Not because the school system failed your disabled child- but because you did.
Its vital that you understand your role in his academic life is more than dropping him off at school and picking him up.
It means that you will need to spend an hour at the table 5-6 nights a week doing homework and helping him organize it into folders, packing it into his book bag for school.
It means that you have to get creative in how you keep constant communication with teachers. Try a notebook- make his teachers write the assignment or what they leanred that day down, sign it, and send it home- where you read it, sign it and send it back. (trust me, teachers WISH parents would be that involved. They will do it)

Being broke, being tired, being uneducated, being busy... None are aceeptable excuses for you to use. The internet is a viable resource filled with interesting ideas on how to engage your child yourself at home.
If you can't afford tutors, do it yourself. Its not that bad- and its going to strenghten your bond with your kid.
Keep holding him accountable for the things he does or doesn't do. He KNOWS the difference between right and wrong, even at the age of 5.... ADD/ADDHD or not.
Punish him for things that he neglects, and praise him for the goals he achieves.

There is no one else who will help your kid if you don't do it yourself.


Second- To all the ladies who wrote in on this- I agree that the pity party should stop. It is a shame that her kid sank due to lack of motivation at home. But she can make it up next year by giving him the support he needs to pass on his second chance.

OK, my son is in kindergarten and they send home reports every quarter. Its not the A,B,C,D,F grading system, but a system of a - if they are behind in that area, a check if they are right on track and a + if they are ahead. They had parent teacher confrences twice once each semester. I made my husband get off work early so we could go. My son brings home homework (yes in kindergarten) and I work with him on it. When my son told me he was bored with school, I talked to his teacher and asked her to challenge him more. It is all about getting INVOLVED with the child's education. If he is bullying other kids ASK WHY. Dont just accept that he is bullying. Ask him, ask his teacher, heck, even ask the mother of the child he bullied what her kid says about it. The child's education, and any mental disorder he or she may have, is not only the schools responsibility. It is YOUR responsibility as the mother. If you are worried that your child may have a mental isorder, dont wait for the school to mention it. ASK them yourself, or talk to the doctor about it. Too often parents blame the school when their child doesnt excel. Why is it only the schools responsibility? Why not stop and ask what YOU could have done differently? As for how to tell him he failed, well, theres only one way to tell him. By saying you failed kindergarten, and you have to be held back.

Quoting red_dragon_girl_69:“ OK, my son is in kindergarten and they send home reports every quarter. Its not the A,B,C,D,F grading ... [snip!] ... to tell him he failed, well, theres only one way to tell him. By saying you failed kindergarten, and you have to be held back.”

the answer to why so many people want to blame the schools:
because they want their kid in tax payer funded day care so they don't have to watch or teach their kids themselves...
thats how so many parents treat it these days anyway... I hate it!
Kudos to you for being proactive in your child's life and education  

Quoting MommyMeri:“ the answer to why so many people want to blame the schools: because they want their kid in tax payer ... [snip!] ... so many parents treat it these days anyway... I hate it! Kudos to you for being proactive in your child's life and education  ”

i only blame part of it on theteacher for not telling her until march that he was failing...i just wish they had said something sooner about him falling behind...from what i knew, everything was going ok..and i was only going by what i had seen...now i can' t be there all the time..and i am not trying to make excuses for her but, from what i have seen, she does sit down with him and do homework and go over things he messed up on at night...i just know that she does try to help him out the best she can and is very much involved....oh and there is a folder where she has to sign and send notes back and forth to the teacher....hopefully he will be able to catch up...and trust me about the daycare thing...i just can't send my kids there, so i would never blame the school unless i honestly felt it was partly their fault......and when i said i had blamed the school, not christy..i was talking about for not helping her with her spelling...and she did graduate...if you actually talked to her, you would never know that she had learning disabilities in school....IMO...parents do have weaknesses..we are not perfect....and her not being able to help out her son academically happens to be hers.

oh and to babygagamommy..i never said that my kids did not listen to me, they just act differently when i am not around as most kids do...

but i am not on here to argue with anyone...