re: Failed Kingarden

Quoting Christy61607:“ He does know all of that and so far he can spell and write and far as me going to college there would ... [snip!] ... for 2 yrs and can only count to 12 so you tell me whats up with that is that his paretns fault aslo that he cant count ?”

Depends on the situation. I'd have to have more information about your nephew in order to say if yes it was his parents fault or not.

For instance, how old is he? What does the preschool teach? Do his parents work with him on anything??

Its called
"CRAYOLA" and its a great way to start teaching kids- $4.00 for a pack of markers and $1.50 for a pack of BIG index cards...

Sit down with your 5 year old and make flash cards.
Bright colors and with a quick flip of cards- you have a tremendous learning tool.

For one, it won't require that his attention be held to ONE boring thing. You put the information one piece at a time, each card a different color... and VOILA, you have something that is interesting to look at, easy to comprehend and quick enough to hold the attention span of an ADD 5 year old.

Make a card GAME- using the same cards and markers, make a mix and match game.... Have your child put the numbers on the cards together, counting to 10... then to 20... then to 30... all the way up to 100.
Have him SHOW you how the numbers look by using the flash cards you have made him.

Do the same with the Alphabet- say "Show me B" and he should be able to find the B card- or "Find a RED letter" he should be able to choose a card you have written in red on.

Teach him a song that tells him how to spell his name. Kids love to sing their information- and the great news is... IT DOESN"T HAVE TO RHYME, he's 5, he doesn't care   Just pick a beat or a rythm and a quick melody and S P E L L your name.
Take it another step and teach him how to sing his address and phone number! Teach him how to spell YOUR name with the same little ditty.

Reward him with stickers (they are good tools) or smily faces on a chart that hangs on your fridge.
Make a big deal of days where he does REALLY well, and be openly disappointed and firm with him when he has days where he doesn't do so well. Give your kid incentive to progress. if you give him stickers or smily faces, put them somewhere that he can count them.

When you are in your car, play "I spy" and practice your colors... Ask him to tell you the letters and numbers on the license plates around you. ..

GO TO THE LIBRARY- and have your kid pick out 2 books for the week. Read to your child from those books- then have him try to read to YOU.. even a page or 2.
Hooked on Phonics is usually available at the library too- that is a great way to teach your child how to use phonetics to sound words out. Its a fun learning tool and it makes it interesting for him.

These are not hard concepts. I do NOT understand what is so advanced about finding things similar to these to work with your kid on.
Everyone of us OBVIOUSLY has access to the internet- and there are a million ideas out there.

So please tell me- WHAT or WHOM is holding your kid back?

Quoting MommyMeri:“ Its called "CRAYOLA" and its a great way to start teaching kids- $4.00 for a pack of markers and $1.50 ... [snip!] ... has access to the internet- and there are a million ideas out there. So please tell me- WHAT or WHOM is holding your kid back?”

The answer to this is quite CLEAR... But sadly she must not have the brain capacity to figure out that she is the one at fault.

Quoting nik | Waiting4baby!:“ The answer to this is quite CLEAR... But sadly she must not have the brain capacity to figure out that she is the one at fault.”

I think she does have the brain capacity to know that she is at fault... I think what she is lacking is the humility it takes to say "Man, I guess I really am a huge factor in this situation... What ideas are out there to improve on my kid's motivation to learn? Has anyone else dealt with a child with this type of learning challenge? What did you do to help your children? How can I modify a plan of action? What should I do differently? Who should I look to speak with and what should I say to open the lines of communication between the school and myself? What resources, websites, and activites do other people use to help their child learn at home? How much time do you parents spend each night working on these things with your kid? How many times a week? Do you have a special routine?"

That is not ignorance thats holding her back. Thats embarassment and hurt pride and perhaps a touch of laziness. Which certainly is NOT going to help her child. I realize that she has a friend who says that she is working with her kid to the best of her abilities... but wouldn't good sense suggest that maybe reaching for some outside ideas and using someone else's abilities be a good way to try working with a child as well???? I am just shocked that she never asked any questions about what she could change to help her kid in the future....

Quoting MommyMeri:“ I think she does have the brain capacity to know that she is at fault... I think what she is lacking ... [snip!] ... as well???? I am just shocked that she never asked any questions about what she could change to help her kid in the future....”

You know what bitch im so fucking tired of you coming on here saying shit like its all my fault and i dont work with my son because you dont have no fucking clue what i do in my house

Quoting Christy61607:“ You know what bitch im so fucking tired of you coming on here saying shit like its all my fault and i dont work with my son because you dont have no fucking clue what i do in my house”

well then why don't you tell us what you do? Why don't you ask for some feedback from people who have been in your position?
You haven't shared anything specifically about what you do... do you think that could be why you are being looked at so harshly? Usually when one is accused of "not doing enough" they are quick to say "I do this, and this and this, what else can I do?"
I stuck up for you too BTW... I am about the only one on here who hasn't called you "stupid" at some point.

well i don't know if anyone else has picked up on it but it is called KINDERGARTEN not KINGARDEN. So maybe that's the first problem with this situation. And mom sham on you for not preparing your child for school. There are many things that you can do or could have done to avoid the situation. hopefully you will learn from this situation and not make the mistake again in the future.

Quoting deannwhite:“ well i don't know if anyone else has picked up on it but it is called KINDERGARTEN not KINGARDEN. So ... [snip!] ... have done to avoid the situation. hopefully you will learn from this situation and not make the mistake again in the future.”

she sees people saying the exact same things to her, and yet somehow she misses the message completely... its amazing. Its been pointed out repeatedly to her exactly what you said. I tend to agree with you myself.

Hey Christy- see, its not that I'm a " fucking bitch" who has "no fucking clue" what you do in your home (and I quoted your words exactly)
You didn't need me to point out that you are at fault... you have an entire board of people doing that!
I'm asking you to tell us what you are doing at home specifically, and maybe offer the suggestion of asking what OTHER people are doing... and maybe taking that advice and trying it out...

Again... you aren't stupid... just embarassed and a little lazy. BOTH are correctable things.

Quoting Christy61607:“ You know what bitch im so fucking tired of you coming on here saying shit like its all my fault and i dont work with my son because you dont have no fucking clue what i do in my house”

Dude STFU! It's your own fault your son failed...
Maybe if he had a mother who passed Kindergarten instead of Kingarden he wouldn't be failing.... If anything MommyMeri was being nice by suggesting things for you to do so that way your son might not have to go to Kindergarten 3 times.... You're an ignorant fool and you only want to blame the school for what you did wrong with your son...
Take responsibility in the fact that you did not do everything that you possibly could have to ensure that your son passed KINDERGARTEN... Now quit bitching about everyone pointing out the obvious and help out your son... and while you are at it learn to spell and use words in the correct way so that way your son can actually learn something right from you... Learning starts at HOME!!!!

Quoting babygaga_mommy:“ You are contradicting yourself... You said previously she has/does do everything that she can in order ... [snip!] ... can in order to help him... now you're saying maybe she's not able to help him because its her weakness?!... make up your mind”

I said she is doing the best to her ability and that is all someone can do...and she may be weak at doing it...i did not contradict myself.

Quoting 18 DAYS!!!:“ I said she is doing the best to her ability and that is all someone can do...and she may be weak at doing it...i did not contradict myself.”

You seem to have personal insight here, and some knowledge as to what exactly she is doing at home.
Can you tell me what she specifically does to work with her child? Maybe if we communicate with you, you can help her engage in some new ideas with him this summer. I am still thinking of the benefit of the child in this... I keep thinking that maybe if we drive it home how important this is, she will take the hint and opt to look for some new ways to make her kid an academic sucess.
I don't think that repeating kidergarten once is going to hold him back for a lifetime... I think its a great oppertunity to show the child that success is measured in academic progress, and without that success, the consequence is doing it over. Its a chance for her child to do really well this time around, and maybe start a great habit of learning. Its never going to be an easy road for her, there will never be a period where she doesn't have to follow up with her kid on what he's doing in school. Its extra work for the parent at home- but man... can you imagine how good she will feel in 13 years when her child is accepting his highschool diploma. And imagine how proud HE will be... and the oppertunities that he will have that she hasn't in life! He could work towards scholarships and grants and go to college for free. This is an amazing country that we have that rewards good students (and parents). I am at a loss as to why her number one concern is not modifying her current system with him... This doesn't have to be such a travesty. The only thing making it one, is HER current attitude and behavior.

Quoting MommyMeri:“ You seem to have personal insight here, and some knowledge as to what exactly she is doing at home. ... [snip!] ... system with him... This doesn't have to be such a travesty. The only thing making it one, is HER current attitude and behavior.”

i know that on a daily basis she sits down with him and goes over everything that is in his folder..and the things he messed up on, she works with him on trying to teach him the right answers...she has also tried the flashcards...she bought him a few different kinds..his numbers, letters, colors.....she has even tried giving him incentives..like when he had words to learn,i think there was 42 of them...and he wanted some of them skate shoes or heely's....well he is yet to finish all of the words....and she goes over writing his letters and counting things..or just asking him what color something is...those are just a few of the things i can think of right now..but t.j. gets very frustrated when doing some of the things..

Quoting 18 DAYS!!!:“ i know that on a daily basis she sits down with him and goes over everything that is in his folder..and ... [snip!] ... is...those are just a few of the things i can think of right now..but t.j. gets very frustrated when doing some of the things..”

Okay- the folder thing is great! maybe breaking it up into smaller time slots might help... like working for 10 to 15 minutes, and then letting him have a break....Let him get frustrated and throw a tantrum for awhile and just sit there. 10 to 15 minutes is very reasonable for him to be able to commit to work. Setting a timer and saying "You have to work until this rings, and then I am going to let you have a break, and how about we play a game?" if he starts to throw a fit after 5 minutes. Stop the timer and just wait it out... Explaining to him that the timer will not ring while he is being a brat about it. Remembering that most children with ADD are very smart- he is probably used to manipulating the situation around him. Outsmarting him is key in something like this...
Flash cards work well for me... I still use them (shoeboxes full of them) but maybe they aren't for everyone.
What about making the cards into a learning game? Is TJ competitive at all? maybe if a matching game was put together- that could help with colors and letters- write 2 of each number and letter on a card in all different colors (matching their mate of course) and have him play "memory" turning all the cards over face down, and having him try to pick the matches up.

Or candy land was great for me to learn my colors- i loooooove that game still today- and I found it at a big lots for $3 recently. I think they must be pretty cheap at Walmart too-
Hi-Ho-Cherry-O was a great counting game, and I LOOOOOVE that one too   It was the first game I learned to play, and I could play it by myself as well as with other people  

hooked on phonics came out when I was in kindergarten or 1st grade I think. I know that I had it when it was brand new... It was great! I read on a third grade level when I was in first grade, and I give much of the credit to HOP. I used to love the little songs and stuff. (remember, I was an ADD kid, and one teacher thought i was retarded because I couldn't make good grades, but I was ana amaizng reader... a point that baffled my 4th grade teacher- which was about the point that my academic problems were at their height- my other teachers were excellent at recognizing new ways to keep me interested and motivated. I was soooo lucky) We took weekly trips to the library and I could pick out 2 books for the week... one of those 2 books was read to me every night, and by the end of the week, my parents would ask me to try and read it to them. I come from a family of readers. As I got older and the books got bigger I remember my dad sitting in my floor while I read to him from my bed   We would take turns   It was a great bonding experience as well as a learning one!

I know that I also played "i spy" with my mother and father in the car... That was great! you can play it at home too.

The heely shoes are a great reward- but a long term one... maybe if she shows him a way to chart his progress... Have him write the words he learned down and keep them together having him count each one and writing the number near the word- then he can see how much more he has to go and how much he has accomplished. Maybe setting a goal of 5 words a night?? 42 words is a lot to get in one sitting, but its pretty reasonable for a week and a half or two weeks worth of work   That could give him a real sense of pride when he accomplishes it! But making sure that she doesn't give in and hand over the reward before he accomplishes the goal is important. maybe to motivate him further, she could tear an ad for them out of a magazine or print a picture out on the computer- and hang it up by his word list!

Even just watching him color a picture and saying to him- "I will be your talking crayon box! You tell me what color you need and I will give it to you." you could even make him tell you the color that he is giving back before getting the new color! double reinforcement  

Making it fun is really important... Its why sesame street worked so well for most of our generation... It was educational and fun, the colors were bright, the activities simple and quick and engaging.
Trying to make real life more like sesame street is a challenge, but it can be fun for a parent as well I think  

Quoting MommyMeri:“ Okay- the folder thing is great! maybe breaking it up into smaller time slots might help... like working ... [snip!] ... engaging. Trying to make real life more like sesame street is a challenge, but it can be fun for a parent as well I think  ”

those are all great ideas..i guess some of them i use and didn't even know it..but i will relay all of them to her....and as far as him being competitive, i 'm not sure if he really is or not but i know he likes matching games...and he does throw a lot of fits so i am sure the timer thing would help...and i know he likes books..so maybe your idea would work with the books..oh and sesame street is great..my kids love that show still...i think she is letting him on pbskids.org now too (something i suggested that is fun and educational) ..i don't know about all kids, but it has really helped with my 3 yr. old..she knows how to do everything on that site..but thanks for the ideas..i think she was just so offended and upset by the time you got on here that she was taking everything in the wrong way..

Okay, now I haven't been watching this thread in a few days, and it's taken some time to catch up... BUT I have some questions that maybe you could clear up for us:

Is English NOT your first language?? Because after someone has again showed you the difference between SIT and SEAT, you have continued to ignore them and type incorrectly. Now, no one is perfect and ppl do make typos, but after repeated incidents it appears that you are not making typos, you really write that way. Perhaps you speak that way as well? Do you have some form of mental retardation? Even to a small degree?? Are you considered "slow"? Are you on drugs? I don't mean the ones that are good for you to take in the correct dosage either...

Well, if you can answer"NO" to all of these then I believe you may unfortunately be beyond our help, and perhaps even beyond any help at all.

You are still NOT taking responsibility for what is no one's fault but YOUR OWN. Many posters gave insightful information and ideas that you could use, and there were a few that you said thank you to, but for the most part you have been incredibly rude to anyone who has posted ideas that criticized you. Unfortunately for you and your situation, YOU WILL BE CRITICIZED. It was your fault.

Obviously its too late to change what already happened, but now you have a brand new opportunity with him. Take the ideas from here, take ideas from his teacher or the school, you can look up ideas online..... but USE THEM. You need to put in the effort to help him or he will never get over this first hump. And that's exactly what you need to see this as. A bump in the road- you get over it and move on.

I hope you think about this before ignorantly coming on here and cursing out other users.