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I said tell him because what if something like that had happened to him, he didn't tell you, and you later found about about it, or he admitted to it long down the road. You'd feel betrayed, hurt, and like you would have a hard time trusting him.

If something like that happened to me, I would talk it over with my husband. I'm completely open about everything, and I think I would feel like I was hiding something from him if I didn't tell him how it had made me feel. Stress the fact that it in no way compares to the way you feel about him, and that you've already told your friend that you think it's best if you not talk anymore. If the tables were turned, what would you like your husband to do? I think that should help you decide.

Old habits die hard. You always want to go back to what you remember was "good".

IMHO~ stay away and focus on your marriage

You aren't a horrible person, and by no means a slut.

Honestly I think it's kind of natural -- I think about my exes from years ago from time to time, and miss them/what we had

but I think it also has a lot to do with that time in my life as much as the person I miss, because my life was a LOT simpler back in those days and sometimes simple is the hardest thing to have....but I have changed, and so have the people I miss -- so it wouldn't be 'the same' even if the stars aligned to make something happen

I would give it some time -- if you can't 'let this go' then you do need to tell your husband, but if it fades as quickly as it came up, then there's nothing really there.

Good call on the 'can't be friends' thing though.

Quoting Deborah Stechschulte:" You aren't a horrible person, and by no means a slut. Honestly I think it's kind of natural -- I think ... [snip!] ... if it fades as quickly as it came up, then there's nothing really there. Good call on the 'can't be friends' thing though."

thanks.... im just sooo worried that my mrriag be ruined over thise could

Quoting PANDORAX1:" lol...so worried my marriage could be ruined over this"

Just be honest. If nothing happened between the two of you, and it was just old feelings being stirred up, explain that. But also explain that you would never stray, it was uncomfortable to have those strange feelings, and you needed to talk to him, your one true love, about it.

it hurts as well because ill never be able to have him as a friend again... i'm not mad that he feels that way about me... im angry he told me... if he never would have told me i wouldnt be in that situation.....

Quoting PANDORAX1:" it hurts as well because ill never be able to have him as a friend again... i'm not mad that he feels ... [snip!] ... that he feels that way about me... im angry he told me... if he never would have told me i wouldnt be in that situation..... "

Yep yep. Telling you wasn't going to change anything between you and he, in a good way at least. He should have known that.

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bumping this cuz im going crazy right now.

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If you're planning on not seeing him again, which I wouldn't, I wouldn't bother telling your husband.

There is no reason to bring that into your marriage if you're letting it go.