How would you explain this...

I was engaged when i got pregnant and the baby was planned but BD and i are no longer together because he is an alcoholic who refuses to get treatment. I have not heard from BD in over a month but in the beginning he was involved. I have a pregnancy memory book and in the beginning i mentioned daddy a lot in it. Like for example my 7 week ultrasound i put daddy's face lit up with the biggest smile when he saw your little heartbeat flicker on the ultrasound for the first time. I dont know how i will explain this to LO when LO reads it someday if his or her whole life daddy has not been around.

Buy a new baby book and re fill it out.

I would keep them in. Crap happens, things don't always go as planned. And just because he isn't involved right now doesn't mean he won't get it together and be there later.

and if he's not you tell them the truth, he was excited about you but he was sick and couldn't be the father we both hoped he would be.

I would keep the book, and continue to add o it as you have been, even if he's not there. You never know what the future holds. Your child might really appreciate that he was there for that, or might not care that he's not around, or who knows, maybe he'll clean up his act, and things might work out for you guys as a family.. or you'll you'll meet someone else great, and you child may never ask.

I'm sorry to hear BD is acting like a big jerk....I would start a new one, but keep the old one just incase you change your mind. You can always fill in the info in the old book if you choose to use it, but if you choose to use a new book, you still have all of the same info about your LO. That way you keep both options open and never miss a beat with your LO's milestones. Best of luck <3

Quoting Bad {MAM} -A- Jamma:" I would keep them in. Crap happens, things don't always go as planned. And just because he isn't involved ... [snip!] ... not you tell them the truth, he was excited about you but he was sick and couldn't be the father we both hoped he would be. "

 

Just turned 30, and my dad has been sober for 4 years. It's not easy seeing your parents faults. Keep all the good memories you can. They can heal in more way than you can see right now. Your relationship with your him maybe one of co-parenting. Your relationship with your LO should be your focus. You can incourage a healthy bond for you LO and the BD, but you can't force it. Nor can you fix what makes him drink, and miss the life he could have. If you need support from day to day try looking for a support group in your area. Al-Anon was very helpful in my family.

Quoting Ducky's Mommy!:" I was engaged when i got pregnant and the baby was planned but BD and i are no longer together because ... [snip!] ... time. I dont know how i will explain this to LO when LO reads it someday if his or her whole life daddy has not been around."

I've kind of got a similar situation going on, my BD bailed two weeks after he found out, even though at first he claimed to be excited. It's something I always wonder about, and my mom has really helped me come up with a solution that I'm pleased with. When the time comes, I'll explain to him that he has two kinds of daddies but the daddy who put him in mommies tummy, isn't the same daddy as he always sees and plays with. Once old enough, I'll be able to explain biology, but, you can't explain biology to your young child. I filled out my baby book with the biological fathers information so he has some idea as to where he comes from.