I know, I know.. last name drama.. you get a lot of it..

I know you're sick of the baby daddy drama and last name bull, but I really need advice. Ok, I've been thinking and thinking about this...

I know I don't want my son to pass on his father's name. There are so many reasons I could go on for over an hour *literally*. Lets just keep it simple: He's not going to be daddy. I haven't even heard from him since December.

The thing is, I have his last name. We got married.. again, LONG story.. and I can't divorce him because I haven't been a legal resident in NY for a year yet..and we haven't been married for a year. We got married in GA.. UNLESS HE WOULD JUST FUCKING DO IT SINCE HE'S IN GA WHERE WE GOT MARRIED AND WERE LIVING.. but he doesn't want to spend the money. Har har har! I plan on going back to my maiden name.

I don't even know if I'm going to be able to find him for a while. I know he's got something up his sleeve to try to avoid child support. I know where his mother lives, but they're all one twisted family from what I've found out and I already know she's not going to help me. None of his family cares that I'm even having this child... or maybe they just don't believe me. I tried and tried to get them to be apart of this, and I was totally shunned. I gave up a few months ago and said screw it.

Anyways, my question is.... what last name should I give my son??? My first son has his daddy's last name. He's very much apart of his life. I don't want to go a year or several years trying to get the divorce done with all of us having different last names. Unless there is a way I can get my maiden name back, please do tell me. I'm afraid if I give him the last name of his father's I won't be able to change it when I change mine if he wants to be a dick. I'm tempted to ask my first son's father if I could give him his last name. I just don't want him to freak out and think I'm trying to tell him he has to be a daddy to this one also. I don't think he would, but still. I also don't know if his family would like this idea. His mom is like a second mom to me, but it's not her last name anymore. They're very keen on keeping the name in their family. I don't know if they'd like the idea of my second son possibly keeping the name and passing it on when he's not blood to them. Well besides being blood to my first son. I might just be over reacting, though. Their last name is VanPuymbrouck and there isn't many of them in the USA.

I don't know what to do!!! I don't want him to pass on his father's last name because no one in his family gives a damn and it's just not worth it if no one cares and he doesn't deserve it. I'd just hate to have my entire family having 3 different last names. It's already confusing as it is.

Quoting Dejavudejavu:“ I know you're sick of the baby daddy drama and last name bull, but I really need advice. Ok, I've been ... [snip!] ... he doesn't deserve it. I'd just hate to have my entire family having 3 different last names. It's already confusing as it is.”

You can change your last name back to your maiden name. You have to go to a quick court hearing and it's around 50 dollars,at least in my state.

Yes, you can easily get your maiden name back. I would do that and then give my son my name.

give him your maiden name. u will eventually be going back to that.

Quoting Ms. Von Fate:“ You can change your last name back to your maiden name. You have to go to a quick court hearing and it's around 50 dollars,at least in my state.”

I'll have to check that out tomorrow then. What court do I get a hold of, family court?

Quoting Dejavudejavu:“ I know you're sick of the baby daddy drama and last name bull, but I really need advice. Ok, I've been ... [snip!] ... he doesn't deserve it. I'd just hate to have my entire family having 3 different last names. It's already confusing as it is.”

My aunt was kind of in this situation last year. She has two kids from a previous marriage, and then got pregnant by her ex-boyfriend (a booty call kinda thing... lol) but he is not on the birth certificate and has never seen his daughter. (who was born in November) So she did not want the baby to have his name.
Anyways, because of the divorce, my aunt wanted to change her name back to her maiden name, but was hesitant because her ex husband would not let her change her older girls names and she didnot want her daughters to feel weird about having a different name than their mom. So long story short, she hyphenated her name to "married name-maiden name" and gave her new baby just her maiden name. So now her two older girls have one name, her baby daughter has another and she has both!   Kinda complicated... but it works for them.

i had the same problem in the beginning of my pregnancy. my babys father rarely talked to me after he found out i was prego. we didnt see each other for a while. and then he just past away in February and i was crushed. i thought the best thing to do was to let our child take after his last name. but the parents seem like they dont even care. they think that im just saying it was his just b/c he past away? that pissed me off. but i dont care.i want my baby to carry his last name. but im unsure of how i will feel if i find another guy who i will possibly marry.i dont want my daughter to be the only one with a different last name!

Quoting Dejavudejavu:“ I'll have to check that out tomorrow then. What court do I get a hold of, family court?”

It's name change court which is under the category of civil court,I believe.If you call your local government center hey should easily be able to tell you where to go to get the form.
All you need is two witnesses and a reason-and fifty bucks!

I'm not exactly sure how it is there, but here in Bama when you actually get divorced you have the option to go back to your maiden name. Although I know you can change your name for a fee but idk how much it is. I haven't even gotten my name changed to my married name yet and it's been two months! LOL. Anyway I would just call the courthouse close to you and ask them how much it would be to just change your last name. Just b/c you're married doesn't mean you have to still have his last name. Lots of women don't even take their husbands name anymore. And then you can have your new baby have your last name, and it will only be two names. In the event you do ever get remarried or find someone you love enough to remarry, he cna adopt your youngest and you can change the last name then to match your own when you get remarried. I don't think I would ask my first child's father if he can have the name, simply b/c it's not his and most of the men i know seem to be really freaky about things like that. But he might be different. You'll never know until you ask though!@

I just noticed youre due like,now.Sometimes they schedule the hearing for a couple weeks after the forms are submitted.You should check your state laws to see what your naming options are-some states let you pick any last name you want,and others require it to be either yours or daddy's legal name.

Quoting Ladee*11DAYS!*:“ I'm not exactly sure how it is there, but here in Bama when you actually get divorced you have the option ... [snip!] ... men i know seem to be really freaky about things like that. But he might be different. You'll never know until you ask though!@”

Haha, I agree.. I think he might kinda freak out about it. I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to get my first son's father to "step up to the plate" since baby daddy ran out. Plus, like I said his family is really into keeping the VanPuymbrouck name and I don't know if they'd like someone not being blood to them taking it on.


Thanks so much ladies. I didn't know it was going to be pretty easy to get my maiden name back. I have NO idea how all of this stuff works. I tried to get legal advice over the phone, and either they want me to pay to talk to them or they tell me "We can't do anything until you've lived here for a year and you two have been married for a year blah blah blah blah blah".. so I was really just..confused.

I'll just give him my maiden name and when I can fork out the 50 bucks in a month or two I'll go and change my last name. Perfect!

Thanks again ladies!!

Quoting Ms. Von Fate:“ I just noticed youre due like,now.Sometimes they schedule the hearing for a couple weeks after the forms ... [snip!] ... options are-some states let you pick any last name you want,and others require it to be either yours or daddy's legal name.”

Oh.. are you serious?!! Ahh.. I hope I'm not in one of those states... I couldn't afford it right now anyways.. I had to get out of work and I've got like 100 dollars to my name.. lol. My parents are going to have to help me out for this next month until I get back into work in early June.

Quoting Dejavudejavu:“ Oh.. are you serious?!! Ahh.. I hope I'm not in one of those states... I couldn't afford it right now ... [snip!] ... to my name.. lol. My parents are going to have to help me out for this next month until I get back into work in early June.”

I think in New York you can give the baby any name you want,maybe to be on the safe side you should have a copy of your birth certificate with you at the hospital to prove it was once your name.

I use this site constantly :http://www.nolo.com/index.cfm

Quoting Ms. Von Fate:“ I think in New York you can give the baby any name you want,maybe to be on the safe side you should have a copy of your birth certificate with you at the hospital to prove it was once your name.”

Yeah, I'll do that. I'll probably call the hospital tomorrow and just ask them really quick also. Thanks so much for the help!