I miss them so much.

People say that time heals all wounds. I find I still have a huge gaping hole in my heart that can't be filled. I lost my nephew August 18, 2011 to a vaccine reaction. He was living at my fathers house with my parents and my sister(s). I lost my best friend August 24, 2011 in a motorcycle crash the crash happened at the end of my parents street. I lost my aunt to stage 4 lung cancer October 3, 2011. I loved her dearly. She was like another grandmother to me.
I am moving back to the place mobile home park I grew up in, in august. Right next door to where my parents live and where my nephew passed. A short walk from where my best friend died. I can see it from the mail boxes.

I have to find the will to face these losses head on but it all feels so epically hopeless. My son is a true testement to why we must find strength after loss. With death comes life. He was born December 28, 2011. 2 days before what would have been my late nephews first birthday. In him I find my true strength. I just find, that there doesn't seem to be enough joy and love in the world to fill the void my loved ones have left in me.

I just don't know how to move on.

Which vaccine did your nephew have a reaction to? And I am praying you find peace in the losses you have seen!

Quoting I♡C.:" Which vaccine did your nephew have a reaction to? And I am praying you find peace in the losses you have seen!"

I am answering strictly because you asked. I am not advocating for or against vaccinations with my vent. Just wanted to clear the air.
He got his dtap done late. he was sick, his immune system was weak, he had even had a nebulizer at that appointment. His pedi assured my sister that it was safe to vaccinate him. He passed away hours later at home after my sister put him to bed for the night.
Thankyou. That means alot to me. I think that when someone prays for someone in need who experienced a loss; that god does send us the strength to carry on. It is up to us to get past the pain inside and find where god has hidden away the strength he gives us. That seems to be my journey right now. :/

Quoting Lindsey Rhone:" I am answering strictly because you asked. I am not advocating for or against vaccinations with my vent. ... [snip!] ... get past the pain inside and find where god has hidden away the strength he gives us. That seems to be my journey right now. :/"

That's so sad! I'd sue the pediatrician. It's NOT alright to give a baby a vaccination while their immune system is down...

Quoting Lindsey Rhone:" I am answering strictly because you asked. I am not advocating for or against vaccinations with my vent. ... [snip!] ... get past the pain inside and find where god has hidden away the strength he gives us. That seems to be my journey right now. :/"

So true! Seak God, he's there for you and will wrap his arms around you!   He's there to comfort you, but you have to want it.

Quoting I♡C.:" So true! Seak God, he's there for you and will wrap his arms around you!   He's there to comfort you, but you have to want it."

I agree with yo =]God is here for anyone that needs or wants it. But truely you have to want it.

I'm so sorry for your losses. Its gotta be extremely hard. I'll be praying