My abortion story

I don't ever talk about this because of much it messed me up but I'm at a different place in my life right now and I think my story could really benefit some women on here.

My junior year of high school started off differently. My best friend had moved in with my parents, my younger sister, and myself. I was also dating her older brother (Patrick). Her brother was 22 and I was 16. He was a drunk, an addict, homeless, and I was too naive to see any of it.

Thanksgiving 2010 was the last time I was with Patrick. A few days after I was looking for something in his backpack and found a few necklaces that belonged to my mother. That was the last straw for me, I ended it then and there.

To "get back at him" I guess, I called up his best friend, we hung out and had sex. Patrick's friend's name was Jeffrey, Jeffrey who is now my SO & who I am engaged to and having a baby with.

Anyway, by the first week of December Jeffrey and I were sleeping together regularly. It turned out we had a lot in common and actually enjoyed each other's company. But on December 22 things changed.

I went in to the hospital to have my tonsils removed and they gave me a blood test there, to check for pregnancy. It came up positive. My mother and I left the hospital and went immediately to my doctor's office where she gave me a urine test. The urine test came back negative, and I had to get another blood test and wait for the results- which were, obviously positive.

I went home that day and we didn't talk about it. I was so stuck in my head about it. I am a junior in high school. I am sixteen years old. I have a part time job. I have nothing to offer this baby. My family won't help me. I'm not sure who the father is. Please don't let the father be Patrick... those were the thoughts that ran through my mind.

When my mother told my father he stopped talking to me. He refused to acknowledge me at all and on Christmas morning he woke up and left for the day. My mom was working and my sister went to my grandparents. I spent Christmas alone.

My mother was pushing abortion down my throat. She kept reminding me of my situation, about how I would have no family support, where would I live, all of that. I didn't know there was help for people in my situation. I didn't think I could do it. I was alone and shunned, I didn't feel like I had a choice.

So I called Planned Parenthood and made an appointment for January 3rd.

I cried for the first time after I got off the phone with them. I had just scheduled my abortion. I had just made the decision to take any chance at life away from this baby. I hated myself.

The day of the abortion came quickly. I remember the entire day, every detail, like it happened to someone else. My mother and I arrived at 9:30 and were seated in the waiting room. The "general" waiting room with women waiting to get refills on their birth control, women waiting for STD testing, waiting to get called in for their abortions.

Hours later they called me... to pay our money, to see their "counselor". That was a joke. Did she ask me if I was sure? If I was ok? If this was what I really wanted? That there were other options? No. She just asked what birth control I wanted and wrote me a prescription.

Back to the waiting room.

My name gets called once again. I am told my mother cannot come with me, I have to go in back alone. I am led down a hallway and into another waiting room. In the waiting room are about a dozen young girls, naked except for a shirt, an open-backed hospital gown and their shoes. I am led to the back of the waiting room and behind a curtain. There I am told to take my pants and underwear off and to put on the gown. I am told to place my pants in a bag they gave to me, and to leave my underwear on top of the bag and to place a maxi pad in my underwear.

I do all of this and go sit in the waiting room with the other girls.

They call my name again and I awkwardly walk down the hall to the exam room, trying to hold my bad and keep my gown closed at the same time.

In the exam room they get straight to business. They do an ultrasound (I had requested not to be shown it) and one doctor tells me that I "caught it just in time". Like I had smurfing cancer or something.

I was administered a twilight medication, that supposedly was supposed to numb the pain or make me forget. But it didn't. I felt and heard it all. Every scrape and every suction. It hurt. I cried.

I don't remember going from the exam room to the recovery room. But I remember waking up and looking at all the other girls who were in the second waiting room with me. They were smiling, talking. I felt like a zombie.

My abortion destroyed me for months. I was depressed, suicidal even. I have come to terms with it though, and I understand why I did what I did.




If any women on here wants to talk to me more about this, please please please pm me. Talking about my abortion is what saved me.

I'm glad you were able to come to terms with it
Thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you for this.

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you're able to cope with it.

What a nightmare. I hope sharing it with us helps you heal a little more. If you don't mind me asking, how did Jeffrey feel knowing the baby could have been his?

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. Thank you for sharing your story. You're not alone.

Congrats on your current pregnancy and engagement. I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

Your story is eerily similar to mine. The way I became pregnant was a little different, but I was in a bad situation none the less. I had actually just broken up with the guy a month earlier, because he was crazy.

But your experience at the clinic was almost identical to mine, right down to the half naked women talking and laughing. I couldn't understand HOW they were all so relaxed and happy...watching tv , telling jokes, While I sat in a chair with my eyes closed , feeling as though my world was falling apart.

In the actual exam room, the people were extremely rude and cold. I didn't get any kind of twilight meds, just some Ibuprophen, which obviously did nothing. The Dr. doing the procedure was 8 months pregnant. When I complained about the pain she said "Well, what did you expect? You didn't think I was going to numb you , did you?" It was the most painful thing I've ever felt. I had a nurse on either side of me holding me arms, like they thought I was going to try and get up or something. About halfway through, I was almost screaming...and begging her to stop and take a break. When this was happening she said "You need to be quiet." and "This is exactly how labor feels, how would you like to go through this for 14 hours? Maybe you'll think about this next time you have unprotected sex". She then picked up the "Bucket" that contained everything she had just sucked out....and started sifting through it right in front of me.

When it was finally over, they wheeled me into the recovery room, my teeth were chattering and I was still crying. Once the pain let up I sat there trying to comfort the other girls that were joining me...they were just as distraught as me.

It was probably the most horrible experience of my life.

I am so sorry that you felt like you had no other options. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope it helps you heal just that much more.
Congratulations on the new baby btw, I've been where you are and it's a very unique situation. I wish you all the best  

Quoting !!Katie!!:" Your story is eerily similar to mine. The way I became pregnant was a little different, but I was in ... [snip!] ... girls that were joining me...they were just as distraught as me. It was probably the most horrible experience of my life. "

OMG! that's awful. how rude! no one should ever be treated like that! I have not had an abortion, but I did have a D&C after my m/c and they knocked me out completely for that, so I would imagine they do the same thing for an abortion here. I can't believe they didn't give you any meds AND they said those things. That's just unprofessional. I mean, that dr. didn't know how you got pg. You could have been raped or something. She didn't need to be lecturing. wow. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine.  

Thank you everyone for your kind responses... it took a lot for me to write it all down and even more for me to have the courage to put it out there in the open. I've been judged so much for my decision, it's nice to have people who understand  

Quoting !!Katie!!:" Your story is eerily similar to mine. The way I became pregnant was a little different, but I was in ... [snip!] ... girls that were joining me...they were just as distraught as me. It was probably the most horrible experience of my life. "

That is horrible ......im so sorry they treated you like that