re: *Gone

Quoting Pregnant w/my 2nd!:“ Agreed. A parent should never have to go through burying their child. You always imagine it being the other way around.  ”

Thats right, we should never have to have gone through that, but alot of the time you dont even get to have a personal service for your baby. i.e. as with my first 2 sons. They were (just) under the viability/laws here and so i was not given the option to have a servce. My babies were thrown out like trash. Im haunted by the fact i never got to spend time with them, hold them in my arms, kiss them and hold their tiny hands. Thats why i think its so great that the woman was allowed to take her baby home, so she could say goodbye 9an the family too). Since we arent allowed a service for ours too, i would much rather have taken my boys home and sorted something special out myself then have them thrown away like they were. I dont want to drag this on because this post has me in tears, but i think once someone has experience of this situation they could clearly understand the familys reasons.

Also, im a psychology grad, and i can say professionally that children are deeply affected by death, not just depending on age but by personality and upbringing. Many young children require psychological services following death, we usually monitor them through play. We all have to face death one day, i guess its up to the parents to chose what they feel is best based on their children as individuals. some kids may be scarred by holding a dead infant (especially at 17 weeks gest) and some kids may be scarred by not being able to have held and met their baby sibling. Id rather regret doing something, than regret not doing it.

Quoting FreeAsABird:“ I don't think it's appropriate to have your children meet and hold their late sister...I would not think ... [snip!] ... about having a child hold a dead body...I just don't think it's right...I can't imagine introducing a young child to that...”

Well then lets just hope that you dont have ababy die and have another child at home...

You dont understand how hard it is to have a child at home and know that your pregnant, then one day your not anymore. I wish to God that Haylee could have been at the hosptial to see her baby brother but it was 2 am. Somedays I wish I did get someone to bring her up because she had a hell of a time trying to understand what happened and why she isnt a big sister with a baby HERE and not in heaven.

Its incredibly closed minded of you to saywhat is rightwithout actually having been in the same situation, needless to point out the fact that there is no right or wrong, just what each person feels will help them cope with the loss of their child the best.

Quoting twinmami:“ I agree, i still have nightmares and stuff about what happened to my babies. The first time i was to ... [snip!] ... think its acceptable to be rude and naasty. Very disappointing and upsetting, i cant believe other mums can feel that way  ”

What do you mean they wouldn't release the body for a funeral????!!!! Is that even legal? I don't see how they can do that?

Quoting Lauren's Mommy:“ What do you mean they wouldn't release the body for a funeral????!!!! Is that even legal? I don't see how they can do that?”

Ive already explained what happens and how this post is upsetting me and that i dont have anything else to say. I refer to yourprevious post.Please have a little sensitivity, especially if you havent ever been in the situation.

http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about140682.html

Quoting twinmami:“ Ive already explained what happens and how this post is upsetting me and that i dont have anything ... [snip!] ... have a little sensitivity, especially if you havent ever been in the situation. http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about140682.html”

I just didn't see your post above. I did not read all the way through. I had not heard anything about viablity laws.

No one in that post told me about viability laws. I thought you might have more infromation is all

Quoting twinmami:“ Thats right, we should never have to have gone through that, but alot of the time you dont even get ... [snip!] ... by not being able to have held and met their baby sibling. Id rather regret doing something, than regret not doing it. ”

I'm sorry you didn't get to hold your babies. That must be so hard. I hope you feel some comfort in knowing that their whole lives they felt warm and loved inside you. I'm also sorry that this post is getting to you. It has been hard for me too, mostly because of the comments made about the family that took their baby home but then also because of the accusations that I don't even know my own daughter.   Thanks for your professional opinion on all of that.

Quoting Pregnant w/my 2nd!:“ This just isn't the place for that kinda thing.”

what did I mis, I dont see a link to anything

Quoting CarmenDe:“ what did I mis, I dont see a link to anything”

I can pm you the link if you want to see it. It was pictures of a family holding their 17wk fetus and then about 5 pages of cruel comments that were made about it.

Quoting northwind:“ I can pm you the link if you want to see it. It was pictures of a family holding their 17wk fetus and then about 5 pages of cruel comments that were made about it.”

I would like to see it. I just lost my baby at almost 11 weeks and I think I would have liked the closure of holding him / her. I will find out the pathology report next Monday.

Quoting CarmenDe:“ I would like to see it. I just lost my baby at almost 11 weeks and I think I would have liked the closure of holding him / her. I will find out the pathology report next Monday.”

I sent the link to you. If I were you I would refrain from reading the comments, they were all made by men and they are very harsh. It has been almost a year and a half since my loss and it was still painful for me. I think it would have been painful for me to read those just as a mom to living children only also. I'm so sorry for your recent loss.

Quoting northwind:“ I sent the link to you. If I were you I would refrain from reading the comments, they were all made ... [snip!] ... it would have been painful for me to read those just as a mom to living children only also. I'm so sorry for your recent loss.”

thank you, I did read the first few and got very angry so I stopped. I read your daughters page, OMG what you must have felt. I am soo sorry!!