re: *Gone

I probably wouldn't have posted this here....just an FYI. Some people may take offense it after losing a child.



But like the girl above me said, to each their own..I'm surprised the hospital let them do that.

I am very surprised that was allowed. I lost my son at 21 weeks but he was born alive.. I couldn't of imagined bringing him home, I didn't even get to hold him. i rather him rest in peace.. poor baby. i disagree.

Quoting HelloKimmie:“ I probably wouldn't have posted this here....just an FYI. Some people may take offense it after losing ... [snip!] ... it after losing a child. But like the girl above me said, to each their own..I'm surprised the hospital let them do that.”

I can see that.. sorry  

Quoting klindley:“ I am very surprised that was allowed. I lost my son at 21 weeks but he was born alive.. I couldn't of ... [snip!] ... I couldn't of imagined bringing him home, I didn't even get to hold him. i rather him rest in peace.. poor baby. i disagree.”

We went through the same with our firstborn, he was alive as i was in labour, but they took him away after birth and i never saw him again. For years ive been angry and il never get over it. Our second passed away (Feb 06)similar to the pic of the baby in those photos so it really really brings it back to me. Having never been able to bring my babies home, well i would have liked to be able to do that. You know, its something you dream of being able to bring baby home. Coming home without your baby is the hardest and most painful thing in the world. Its not very nice to call the baby "it", a few more weeks and the baby could have survived. Calling it 'sick' etc is a really disgusting comment to make. If that was your child you wouldnt be saying that. That was someones baby, their heart and soul. I think people ought to have more respect, especially if they havent even been through it themselves.

How would it be emotionally scaring for the other children to meet their sister?

I lost my daughter at 34 weeks. After we left the hospital, and left her there, we found out that we could have taken her home with us for a few hours. I wished we would have!
So what if these people took thier baby home! It was thier baby!
The comments the people were leaving upset me, I cant believe how someone would say such a crude thing!Im sure they would feel different if it was thier baby!

Quoting H&AsMOMMY!:“ I lost my daughter at 34 weeks. After we left the hospital, and left her there, we found out that we ... [snip!] ... upset me, I cant believe how someone would say such a crude thing!Im sure they would feel different if it was thier baby!”

34 weeks -- that is scary! May I ask what went wrong? Seems like far enough along to avoid any serious complications.   Sorry for your loss.

What the hell is wrong with those people that posted the comments on that thread?! Sure it is a fetus, but it is also someone's child, why is it so terrible to take your child home to bury her instead of letting the hospital throw her out with the garbage?

The other children were obviously expecting a baby, is it emotionally healthier for them that the mom should disappear for a couple days and come home no longer expecting a baby or to meet the sister that was born too early to stay with them?

I feel bad for that family and I hope they never come across the terrible comments that have been made about them or their precious child.

Quoting northwind:“ What the hell is wrong with those people that posted the comments on that thread?! Sure it is a fetus, ... [snip!] ... for that family and I hope they never come across the terrible comments that have been made about them or their precious child.”

I agree, i still have nightmares and stuff about what happened to my babies. The first time i was to young and ill advised to enforce what i wanted, the best they offer between 21 and 24 weeks it a joint cremation of all babies that have passed away. Again the second time i was given absolutely no choice about what happened to our sons body, they said it was too early to release him for a proper funeral   I think all families should be given the option of taking their baby home and saying goodbye properly. Some of the comments on here and on that site are just plain ignorant. Pregnant women need to be educated about the baby they are carrying and what could go wrong. Im shocked that someone could actually be surprised at a baby going to heaven at 34 weeks, reaching viability gives no guarantee of anything. What gets me is if someone posted a pic of their 23 weeker everyone would be saying 'how cute' or 'how beautiful', yet just because this baby is a few weeks earlier people think its acceptable to be rude and naasty. Very disappointing and upsetting, i cant believe other mums can feel that way  

Don't you know? Oncea baby reaches 30 weeks nothing can go wrong  . Or once you bring the baby home everything is okay   There are no guarantees in life. I too was shocked by those people's responses on that website. Even more so by these "mothers" reponses on here. The men on the other site will never know what it is like to carrying and bond with an unborn child but you would think that women on here would understand.

I don't really understand what the difference is between bringing your baby home, or spending the day with your child in the hospital... If I had been able to bring Jayce home instead of spending our only time with him in a hospital room I would have done it in a heart beat... Luckily my parents and grandparents were able to meet him, but my bf's family never saw him because they weren't able to get there during the day...

And I agree that some of the women who have posted on here need to think twice about which forum they are posting in before they type comments about still born babies giving them the "eebie jeebies" etc...

- Jess

I don't think it's appropriate to have your children meet and hold their late sister...I would not think it appropriate to have a child hold a late adult either...

It's not about the fact that it's a baby...It's about the fact that it's introducing children to some pretty real experiences about death...I personally have a hard time in the presence of people who have passed...Wakes and such...I just know that I would not want to make death that real to my child that early...

On the other hand, I do think that people should have the right to give their child a proper burial...The baby *is* their child...It should not be up to anyone but the parents to decide where/how their child can rest...

My opinion is strictly about having a child hold a dead body...I just don't think it's right...I can't imagine introducing a young child to that...

Quoting June baby 2008:“ Really effing sick! Thats crazy!! That poor baby.The parents shouldn't have let those pics get out.”

Although I think its wrong to expose the other children to that calling it "sick" is uncalled for. Some people want pictures of their child even if they passed away. They have every right to take as many pictures as they want and post them anywhere because its still their baby and they still loved her just as much as the others. Love is unconditional even in death. People need time to say goodbye and they should be allowed to do so. Personally if I was to choose to do something like that the other children wouldnt have been home. I think its a bit to tramamtic for young children to cope with esspecially considering it looked like the little girl in the background was about 4 maybe. they may be able to "understand" what happened but I feel its wrong to force them to deal with something THAT upsetting.

No matter the reason or why it happened the child was still lost and is in Heaven just as beautiful as ever. My heart goes out to that family and their friends.

People on that site were really rude about it.

Would I have done the same thing? No. If I was in that situation I would grieve and say my goodbyes to my baby at the hospital, not take him or her home with me. That would just make it hurt more I think. I can't say for sure what I would do, but I think I would just say goodbye with my husband and not involve my other kids.

Quoting MommyInTheMaking:“ I don't really understand what the difference is between bringing your baby home, or spending the day ... [snip!] ... forum they are posting in before they type comments about still born babies giving them the "eebie jeebies" etc... - Jess”

Very well said Jess! I agree with you 100%