re: Appropriate bedtime for 12 year old???

I was staying up that late at that age. As long as you aren't doing anything that day, I don't see the problem. If you have plans for the next day, and she has to wake up early, encourage her to go to sleep earlier. Problem is, you can't force her to sleep.

I'd say between 10-11 like, in their room by 10 and asleep by 11..

that's exactly what I was thinking! I got to stay up till 12 at the latest. She watches the disneyteen channel all night. She usually sleep either on the couch and an air mattress when she's here. My son was gone for the weekend so I said she could stay in his room which has its own bathroom. She slept there the first night only. She slept downstairs the rest of the time because the tv is down here.

My issue is that her dad feels differently. He doesn't see the harm in it because it's just two weekends a month. But don't feel like I should have to get the day started around a 12 year old that sleeps until 12 or 1 in the afternoon. He says she's my daughter and I'm her father. That really rubbed me the wrong way.

Our apartment is small and we have to step all over each other anyway. When we move into our house she will have her own room and I'm concerned about her having a tv in there. Now i'm babbleing.....end babble! LOL

I would say no tv in the bedroom...and in her room by 9pm lights out by 10 and imo that's being generous. She's 12

even in high school i had to be in my room by 9. but i also needed a good bit of sleep.

Quoting Cute&Wicked:" that's exactly what I was thinking! I got to stay up till 12 at the latest. She watches the disneyteen ... [snip!] ... our house she will have her own room and I'm concerned about her having a tv in there. Now i'm babbleing.....end babble! LOL"

I definitely would put the kibosh on the watching TV all night long. She can sleep in a proper bed in a proper room and read or do something constructive.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cute&Wicked:</b>" that's exactly what I was thinking! I got to stay up till 12 at the latest. She watches the disneyteen ... [snip!] ... our house she will have her own room and I'm concerned about her having a tv in there. Now i'm babbleing.....end babble! LOL"</blockquote>




If he says it's fine, I'd just let her do it. It's not really your place to override his decisions.

Quoting Cute&Wicked:" that's exactly what I was thinking! I got to stay up till 12 at the latest. She watches the disneyteen ... [snip!] ... our house she will have her own room and I'm concerned about her having a tv in there. Now i'm babbleing.....end babble! LOL"

Have you tried to talk to her about it? Maybe she has insomnia.
He's right, though, it is his child. You can try to compromise, but in the end, it's his choice IMO.

Quoting Cute&Wicked:" that's exactly what I was thinking! I got to stay up till 12 at the latest. She watches the disneyteen ... [snip!] ... our house she will have her own room and I'm concerned about her having a tv in there. Now i'm babbleing.....end babble! LOL"

I would definitely have a conversation with him about this.

It's not as though this is the only child involved in your family. You have a son plus another child on the way. How will it look if your SD has one set of rules, but you have another whole set for your children?

Quoting FaithLovesBaby:" Have you tried to talk to her about it? Maybe she has insomnia. He's right, though, it is his child. You can try to compromise, but in the end, it's his choice IMO."

You know what, I never thought of that. I suffered from insomnia at that age, really, really badly. I also know how he feels as a dad. He only gets to see her twice a month and he wants to be the fun dad.

And you guys that say it's not my decision...you're absolutely right. But she is a child put in my care and I want to respect her mothers wishes. She and I get along very well and I want to keep it that way. I so appreciate all of the advise guys....thank you 

Quoting Cute&Wicked:" You know what, I never thought of that. I suffered from insomnia at that age, really, really badly. ... [snip!] ... wishes. She and I get along very well and I want to keep it that way. I so appreciate all of the advise guys....thank you "

I also had really bad insomnia. My parents would get angry that they would catch me awake at 1 am, but when you can't sleep, you can't sleep! Just talk to your DH and step daughter, you'll figure it out.

Quoting FaithLovesBaby:" Have you tried to talk to her about it? Maybe she has insomnia. He's right, though, it is his child. You can try to compromise, but in the end, it's his choice IMO."

If she has insomnia, watching television is the last thing that she should be doing.

It is far too over-stimulating.

I would say 10-11

My son is almost 13. During the summer he is allowed to stay up until 10 sometimes 11. On rare occasions like family movie night or if he has friends over it's midnight but midnight is the latest.

Thats insane.. even as an adult thats way too late. How does she function during the day? lazing around in bed until the afternoon is so not healthy for her at all. If I was you id tell your oh he needs to step up and sort it out!

My nephew is 13 and he's in bed no later than 10 on a weekend, on a weekday its 9pm, which I think is suitable.

When I was 12 I was in bed for 8:30 even on weekends. We weren't aloud tv's in our bedrooms and we had to stay in our rooms at that time.

She should be in bed no later than 10:30 on a weekend I think. Someone said you can't force her to sleep, but trust me... you can lol you make her go to bed for that time, with lights out, no computer or tv in her room, she will soon fall to sleep, wake her up at 8 every morning, she will soon start feeling tired enough to sleep at nighttime. It really is not healthy for her to stay up past 12 imo x