re: Once a cheater...

if drinking was his excuse for cheating, you'd think he'd be smart enough not to drink. So what would you do if he caught something and gave it to you and your unborn child?

if you believe that he hasn't done anything in that long, then maybe he has changed. Like i said before, trust is a hard thing to get back, if ever. I know how you feel about when he is out you freak out about what he is doing, cause i went through the same thing, except mine wasn't because he cheated, but because he got extremely addicted to drugs, went to rehab, relapsed, blah blah blah...to me it felt like i was being cheated on, he would go out for a couple hours and just not come home for a few days cause he would be on a drug binge...and i felt like i was the only one that could help him too. so i do know how u feel in a way. but it does seem like he is doing the right thing, and you are just letting the past get to you, rightfully so might i add. imo, i would have never stayed w/ somebody that cheated on me that many times, i know i would never get over that, and would be just like you are right now. have u tried counseling? it may help in your situation. i don't see why u would leave him now unless u have proof that he's cheating again, but honestly from the sounds of it, i think you need to work on your trust issues w/ him. but if you don't think you will ever be able to trust him again, you may want to consider leaving, because its only gonna strain your relationship, and it will never change. and if your stress level is that bad, you know that is not good on the baby!!

Quoting Excited for #2!!:“ Okay, so...when I was pregnant the first time, he cheated on me with someone from his work, and I didn't ... [snip!] ... We have a great family, house, life, and I don't want to give that up just so he's free to slut around and be single. Ugh.”

-sigh- I really wish there was more I could say to help you. Unfortunately in situations like these it's just so confusing. One minute he's great, the next he's not, y'know?

I think what you should do is sit him down, tell him how you feel when he goes out, and let him know that you don't fully trust him yet. Make sure he understands that when love and trust are compromised by someone's mistakes, it really is a task to regain what security you had in the relationship beforehand, and also make sure that he knows that sometimes, trust doesn't ever come back if there isn't a good enough reason for it to. If he gets mad, don't just take it, because there isn't a reason for him to get mad about something like that. He fucked up, so he should bare the weight of his mistakes..not you.

If you believe that he once was a cheater, and always will be, there really is no reason to stick around and wait for him to change. He won't straighten up just because he hurt you. He'll only change if he actually wants to.

Okay, yes I have thought about getting something from him...like when you have to have all the bloodwork and such for this pregnancy I was SO SCARED I was going to have something. And I have brought that up many times to him, and even accused him of cheating on me AND my son because my son was inside me...eww. So sick and so wrong.

And ya, counseling would be great, and he says he would go. I should get that going...my stress level could be worse I guess...but yes, it doesn't help being pregnant and feeling this way. I know I put a lot of it into motion and I need to work on it...

if he's willing to go to counseling, get to it!!!   Good luck hun!!!

He's home, gotta go, but I will check this tomorrow.

Quoting Excited for #2!!:“ Okay, yes I have thought about getting something from him...like when you have to have all the bloodwork ... [snip!] ... yes, it doesn't help being pregnant and feeling this way. I know I put a lot of it into motion and I need to work on it...”

Best of luck to you, really. I hope that things start looking up for you very soon.

Quoting ~Danielle*Marie~:“ i think you are one of the most mature 18 yr olds i have ever talked to.you seem so wise beyond your age. when i wa 18 i def. did not think like you!!! good for u!!!”

Thank you. >^.^<

i'm in the same situation. sort of.