Pretty messed up question. . . ^-^;

Okay guys I know most of you aren't going to see this the same way I do but hear me out before you shove my head up my ass:


Here's the question:

Say you're married and our SO said it was okay if you had a same sex partner or if your SO said it was okay to have a partner of the opposite sex, is this cheating?

Now here's what you won't like I believe it is weather they say it is okay or not BECAUSE if it weren't cheating that would mean the "other partner" is treated as if they aren't really a person there is no emotional attachment but rather they are seen the same way a dildo or a vibrator is; however this is mostly not the case you come to care for this person you're with and treat them nothing like a toy. They are people to you and isn't that not only physical cheating but emotional as well?



Now this is just MY OPINION free to tell me I am wrong but please explain to me why I am wrong because while I am seriously open minded I never did understand this concept. Wouldn't that defeat the concept of it not being cheating if you become physically and emotionally involved with someone else? Or is it because the partner is okay with it that makes it okay? If so even if the person is really against it but is just saying it's okay because they feel as if they are pressured in to it or there is a "reason" like they can't be there for you during that time or maybe they just are wanting you to explore what ever you can, does that make it cheating?

I'm actually very interested in trying to get a better grasp on this concept and mean NO DISRESPECT for anyone who feels differently or is going through this.

well i think if SO says ok then its ok


BUT the bible says otherwise

When we did it...we did (for the most part) treat it like having a toy. A relationship enhancer...but the woman who was used as a toy got to use my husband as a toy as well.

IMO it is not cheating. It's not degrading as long as all parties are aware of all the ins and outs of the situation...

Cheating (to me) involves lying.

To cheat is indicative of deception. If both partners are aware, how could it possibly be considered cheating?

If both people in the relationship are aware of it & okay with it,no it's not cheating.

When I think of cheating I think that one of the parties is unaware of what is going on. But if they are both agreeing and it works for them then I don't think it is an issue.

Quoting KokO BuTTa:" well i think if SO says ok then its ok BUT the bible says otherwise"

Where?
Many people had multiple partners in the bible.

Some of them were even blessed with them specifically by god.

See Job.
Keep in mind...those people were married by the tenets of that time period. Not our time period.
How do we know that marriage for Job wasn't just "I dedicate this relationship to God" bam. He has ten wives.

To define cheating from the dictionary :

cheat verb /CHēt/ 
cheated, past participle; cheated, past tense; cheating, present participle; cheats, 3rd person singular present

Act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, esp. in a game or examination
- she always cheats at cards

Deceive or trick
- he had cheated her out of everything she had

Use inferior materials or methods unobtrusively in order to save time or money
- they cheat by photographing mashed potatoes instead of ice cream

Be sexually unfaithful
- his wife was cheating on him

Avoid (something undesirable) by luck or skill
- she cheated death in a spectacular crash

Help (time) pass
- the tuneless rhyme with which the warder cheats the time

Unfaithful in my opinion would be to have sex with anyone but said partner even if it was allowed or okay.

Quoting Wolfy:" To define cheating from the dictionary : cheat verb /CHēt/  cheated, ... [snip!] ... cheats the time Unfaithful in my opinion would be to have sex with anyone but said partner even if it was allowed or okay."

Guess my husband & I have cheated on each other.

Quoting Satan:" Where? Many people had multiple partners in the bible. Some of them were even blessed with them specifically ... [snip!] ... our time period. How do we know that marriage for Job wasn't just "I dedicate this relationship to God" bam. He has ten wives."

Job got his ten wives after being tested by satan, they were his reward for being unshakable in his faith towards God, but point taken lol

<blockquote><b>Quoting Wolfy:</b>" To define cheating from the dictionary : cheat verb /CHēt/  cheated, ... [snip!] ... cheats the time Unfaithful in my opinion would be to have sex with anyone but said partner even if it was allowed or okay."</blockquote>




If a wife or husband stay within each other's boundaries and/or limitations, how is that unfaithful?

Quoting Wolfy:" To define cheating from the dictionary : cheat verb /CHēt/  cheated, ... [snip!] ... cheats the time Unfaithful in my opinion would be to have sex with anyone but said partner even if it was allowed or okay."

Sexually unfaithful ...what's the definition of faithful....the one that pertains to this discussion is the one that says "firm in adherence to promises or observance of duty"

So by your definition..as long as all partners keep all promises made to each other while performing these sex acts..no one was cheating.

Quoting Wolfy:" Job got his ten wives after being tested by satan, they were his reward for being unshakable in his faith towards God, but point taken lol"

Yeah.
But he had ten wives before the test.


God gave him new ones when the test took his old ones.

Quoting Danielle: Jack&Basil'sMom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Wolfy:</b>" To define cheating from the dictionary : ... [snip!] ... If a wife or husband stay within each other's boundaries and/or limitations, how is that unfaithful?"

Because IMO to sleep with anyone else weather the spouse says it's okay is still wrong still being unfaithful to the partner. Now mind you the person is okay with it so it really doesn't matter what I think but that's how I feel.

Quoting Satan:" Yeah. But he had ten wives before the test. God gave him new ones when the test took his old ones."

I forgot about that one.