Controlling Future Grandparent

I don't know how to handle this without hurting feelings or causing angry emotions.
I have noticed that one of the future grandparents of my baby is starting to want to take charge/control ofeverything. This is her first grandchild so I know she is really excited.
For example, she is the only one that does not like the name that my boyfriend and I picked out for the baby. I don't feel like we shouldthink of new names just to accomodate her.
She wants to throw me a babyshower which I am not complaining at all. It's just I have kept telling her that I think it should be near the end of July. She is wanting to throw the whole shebang! A friend was going to give me their baby bed to use--perfect condition.it has been used by one child and my future GM freaked. She said I needed a new bed for my house.
I had two nursery themes picked out..one was my favorite, the other second best. She liked the other one and told me how it would be more practical so I am going with her decision.
I don't know if I am over exaggerating and let it go or if I should mention this to my boyfriend. I'm not letting this get to me much right now.. but
I am the one that is the baby's mommy.. I'm just afraid after he is born.. she will get on to me about how I have his hair, clothes he is wearingetc.. and if that happens I will probably breakdown.

Find a nice way to lay down the law with her before it gets out of control-I wish I had.The more you let her get away with,the more she will pull and it will become very uncomfortable.

Quoting DebRene:“ I don't know how to handle this without hurting feelings or causing angry emotions. I have noticed ... [snip!] ... she will get on to me about how I have his hair, clothes he is wearingetc.. and if that happens I will probably breakdown.”

If you are worried about her being up your butt so to speak later on with the baby, don't give into her now... Tell her no, who cares if it hurts her feelings, you don't tell her how to be a mom or what to get for her son, so she has no right to tell you. Don't get the nursery set that she likes, get the one that you like... it's yoru baby and if you let her walk all over you now, you will be posting the I HATE MY MIL post later on... save your self the trouble and just stand up to her now...  

honey I know just how you feel!
My MIL is the same way. I haven't said anything yet, but I am hoping that once my baby is born I will have the courage to tell her to back off! She asked me when I wanted my baby shower, I said around mid April, she threw it in March! I already have a coming home outfit picked for our daughter and she wants to go out a buy a special dress that the baby will only wear once and then put it away in a box to give to her when she is older! Which is stupid to me!
She also wants me and my fiancee to move out to colorado with them in August when they do and live with them, and for me to go out and get a job so she can babysit the baby! ARGH!
anyways, hopefully we can both stand up to these controlling women once our babies are born!

Have you told her how you feel?

I would let her know that this is YOUR son and she has already raised hers in the most polite way possible. My dad keeps doing the same things..he was never here for me growing up and now he wants to act like he knows best and it drives me crazy. I finally blew up on him and told him to BACK OFF. He still makes comments just to get under my skin for example Im naming her Kadence Makenna..instead of trying to be all the way in control and telling me how much he didnt like it and trying to suggest other names...he just keeps calling her Candace and saying he prefers the middle name Michelle better and thats what he is going to call her. I told him no he isnt or he wont see her very much and ignore any other comments he makes. You better speak up now before its does end up being a big issue. Mine ended up turning into a big blow out argument..but then again I dont care to get rude with my father...you on the other hand may not feel so comfortable doing so with your MIL.

UGH My MIL is the same way! I put my foot down with the BIG things, like when my son will learn spanish, and her husband not holding my son if he's drinking, but let go of the little things, like the going home outfit her mom bought, and stupid little advices that she hands out on everyone

Quoting KSmith515:“ Have you told her how you feel?”

No, I haven't told her yet.. I was thinking that maybe I should talk to my boyfriend and let him handle the situation.
We are naming our son Titus Byron. She hates Titus. We picked it out because its a bible name, different, etc.
We even suggested that she could call him Ty.. she loves that! In fact she suggested we just name him Ty instead. Last night, my boyfriend told me that he is now askinghis momfor name suggestions although he is still sold on Titus.
It just really bothers me! Because I think the decions should come from me and him.. not his mom. I agree with what all you are saying...I know something should be said now instead of later.. I just don't want to bring a lot of drama.

Quoting DebRene:“ No, I haven't told her yet.. I was thinking that maybe I should talk to my boyfriend and let him handle ... [snip!] ... all you are saying...I know something should be said now instead of later.. I just don't want to bring a lot of drama. ”

well the sooner you get it out of the way, the smaller the drama and if you wait, you are going to explode on this lady and it isn't going to be fun for anyone! LOL.

Why do you care so much about what she thinks or wants? WHo cares what she WANTS!! It's your baby, your life. If you let her get started taking over already, your going to be MISERABLE by the time the baby is 1 mnth old!! TEll her thanks for her suggestions, but remember that is all they are!! Get a backbone!!!

Quoting Joseph & Ben's Mommy!!:“ Why do you care so much about what she thinks or wants? WHo cares what she WANTS!! It's your baby, your ... [snip!] ... by the time the baby is 1 mnth old!! TEll her thanks for her suggestions, but remember that is all they are!! Get a backbone!!!”

Yikes-that was kind of harsh.

Quoting Ms. Von Fate:“ Yikes-that was kind of harsh.”

Well, I am sorry, I get so tired of everyone on here bitching about, so-in-so told me to do this or that, it makes me so mad, Well not mad enough to put a stop to it!! I just don't understand why people let other get to them so bad!! Just like I said, GET A BACKBONE!!! Stand up for yourself, your child and your family!!

Quoting Joseph & Ben's Mommy!!:“ Well, I am sorry, I get so tired of everyone on here bitching about, so-in-so told me to do this or ... [snip!] ... people let other get to them so bad!! Just like I said, GET A BACKBONE!!! Stand up for yourself, your child and your family!!”

You should hire yourself out as a 'personal backbone' to the weaker willed.They could pay you to go to the house of whomever was bothering them,and you could just let loose and say all he things your client wanted said but didn't know how to say.I'd say it'd be a pretty lucrative business endeavor!

Quoting Joseph & Ben's Mommy!!:“ Well, I am sorry, I get so tired of everyone on here bitching about, so-in-so told me to do this or ... [snip!] ... people let other get to them so bad!! Just like I said, GET A BACKBONE!!! Stand up for yourself, your child and your family!!”

If I stand up to them the way you are presenting yourself on this thread.. there would not be any more family. I have a backbone. I wanted to know if I was over exaggerating because this is my first child..I've never had this situation before. I wanted to see if I hadgood reason or if my"pregnancy hormones" were getting in the way!I'm not going to put my two cents in and make a fool out of myself it it's not needed. And as someone mentioned before some of the things I mentioned are "little" that don't need mentioning....so I would have made myself look like a bitch just to have a backbone over stupid little things that doesnt matter.

Quoting ♥B♥:“ well the sooner you get it out of the way, the smaller the drama and if you wait, you are going to explode on this lady and it isn't going to be fun for anyone! LOL.”

Nah I wouldn't explode on her but I do agree with you... everything seems fine now.. thanks for the advice