I would give it to him now, he could be mad at you later for hiding it for so long. He can make the choice if he wants his dad around or not. You can also explain that sometimes when people get out of jail they go back to their old ways and to not get his hopes up too much. But if he wants to give him a chance and understands it could go either way when he gets out then you should do it now. Wouldnt you be upset if you were in jail and tried to contact your son and the father hid the letter...

Having experience with a loved one who had been in prison...a lot of times they have A LOT of time in there to think, to think about all of their mistakes, to think about how much they miss people that they left behind for the crimes they committed that wound them up in jail/prison. A lot of people claim they find God while in there, they get all into reading the Bible and everything...but in the end, and I am sorry to say this, a lot of them brush it off after they get out.
People in jail and prison are bored and will do many things to occupy their minds. I think a lot of people will think, "Oh they are getting more into their faith, blah blah blah..." but a lot of the times the prisoner just wants forgiveness.
Saying that all prisoners come out and fall right back into their old lifestyle isn't very fair, my loved one has been clean from drugs for 4 years and has been living a completely normal, functional life for over a year of being out. It is possible.
As your son is 13 years old, he may want a relationship with his biological dad. That's normal. Or he may not, and that's normal too. What I would do, if I were you, is ask your son if he has interest in trying to have a relationship with his dad. If he does, then tell him about the letter and if he wants it, give it to him, if he doesn't...keep it, he may want it later on. It may at least let him know that his dad was thinking about him when he had a clear head on his shoulders.
Since his dad will be getting out in a year, they have a year that they can possibly bond, if he wants to. And if his dad messes up when he gets out, then at least your son gave it a shot and will then know that his dad isn't worth it if he messes up again.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Andrea Schneider:</b>" I say give it to him now. He's old enough to understand and maybe it would help him understand and forgive ... [snip!] ... and forgive his dad. If I were in your kids shoes and I didn't get that letter until years later I would never forgive my mom."</blockquote>


This... Either way he has to deal with his feelings about his dad..I know you are trying to protect him but it is his decision and he us at a good age to start realizing that he's able to make decisions on his own.

I worked with Mentally Ill criminals, and I have got to say after seeing this side of the line I would highly recomend letting your son read the letter, it gives your son a chance to understand and let the forgiving begin, its a process that alot of WOMEN wont let happen because of their restitment against the father.. I had more respect for the men locked up then the trash that is out there and still refuses to support their child. The fathers that are locked up have to worke 3x harder, not only are they looking to god for their answers but they have found in themselves that they need the family support, And I can understand on a womens part that they dont want their childern to see that kind of situation and think well my dad did it so why cant I.. I seen alot of guys see their kids for the first time in YEARS!! and it brought tears to my eyes, they had to work hard to rebuild that relationship, dont push it away just because you may not approve.. Good luck..

I say give it too him. Just talk with him about it, his feelings. Let him know he doesnt have to decide right now if he wants to even respond or see him when he gets out. I think holding on to it would as other ladies said create animosity towards you even tho you are just trying to protect him. He's not a baby but he's not an adult either. So you and your husband just need to make sure he has someone to talk to about it.

Definitley give it to him. He will resent you for not giving it to him when you got it. He is old enough to understand.

I say give it to him.

Here, 12 is the age you can decide which parent you want to live with. 14 you can get your learners permitt. Sadly, 13 is pretty much almost grown up.

I think your ex is trying to prevent your son at 13 from making the mistakes he did at 13. I think your son needs to read that letter to know why his dad is where he is and how it started at the age he is right now.

My dad went to prison when I was about 7 or 8. Before then I never really saw him because drugs and alcohol were more important. I remember getting a few letters and pics that my grandma(his mom) decided to give me about how he found God and blah blah blah. When he got out never heard from him unless he needed money from my grandma I wasn't aloud to talk to him or see him till I was 18 anyways. I remember I was 14 or 15 went back to Washington and met up with him once with my grandma( she aloud it) and had a nice day at the beach. Told me to call him tomorrow and we would all get lunch. I called and called no answer. I called from a different phone he answers and I ask him about lunch and he hangs up on me. Drugs are more important. It's been since then that i've seen or talked to him except last summer my grandmas other son was dyeing and we had to fly to seattle and he was there. And I honestly can say I don't forgive him I hate him and I hate that I had to be put into the position to be there and see him but I was supporting my grandma. The morale of that story is that for years I thought about the douchebag and how he said he "loved me" and always got my hopes up about how he changed and wants me in his life and he turned out to be a HUGE disappointment and it upset me as a child so in my opinion I wouldn't get your son's hopes up. I'm not saying that he hasn't changed or anything but i'm telling you what I went through and it was a bit heartbreaking for me as a child.

I would not give it to him. Especially if he's just now reaffirming himself... he needs to build his life before he tries to involve your son.

My daughters father has not been in her life in 7 1/2 years, and I can say that he will NEVER come around her even if he wrote me and said "Im sorry." F that, my child deserves better. Keep the letter and let your child decide at 18, but now? Don't set him up for heartbreak.

Quoting Mrs. Dexter Morgan:" Give it to him. Thirteen isn't a young child, most kids have sex by thirteen nowadays."

True Story. Scary story...but true.

You should give chance to him to understand his bio dad, he is 13 and now he is mature enough to take his own decision.