I feel so selfish thinking this..

But I really want my boyfriend to go into the military. I feel like it would be good for a lot of reasons, but mainly for his character, as he's been making a lot of big mistakes lately. I can't even talk to my parents about him without being ashamed because I know they do not approve.
He's also stuck without a job right now, been trying since February to find one with no luck, I feel he would benefit from military history in the future.
Am I wrong to think this way??

yes

The military isn't going to fix that. My XH is a prime example.

Yes, you are wrong.

If he is such a screw up, why are you having a child with him?

You have cause behind your reason of wanting him to do this, but don't force it. Don't feel guilty because of your thoughts. You are looking out for his best interest. Maybe talk to him about it, or talk to him about his bahavior and how you think it would benefit him. You're not horrible for wanting better or more for him. Unfortunately it's his decision.

The military isn't going to magically fix him, hell for all you know he might not even make it past boot camp.

Quoting AKM♥:" But I really want my boyfriend to go into the military. I feel like it would be good for a lot of reasons, ... [snip!] ... February to find one with no luck, I feel he would benefit from military history in the future. Am I wrong to think this way??"

If I were you I would be thinking about ending the relationship not about how I can "fix" him. He doesn't want to be "fixed" or he would have already

If it isn't something he wants then yes it is selfish. I mean the military isn't going to make things better hell they might make them worse.

it's not right to want someone to go into something where their life could be at risk, because you think he needs a reality check.

The military does change people, i think so. But sometimes not for the best. If one goes in smurfed up they may just get even more smurfed up.

Maybe he just needs a consular

Yes you are the military doesn't fix people... Sometimes it just makes them worse.

Quoting Philosoraptor.:" The military isn't going to fix that. My XH is a prime example."

This. Smurf, half of my family is proof as well.

I keep pushing for my SO to join the military as well. However he REALLY wants to join but he is afraid. However he won't admit it. All he talks about is when I'm in the army this, and that but he just scheduled to take his asvab for Thursday. I push for it for him. But also bc it's character building. Not character rebuilding. It just gives them more on top of who they already are.

<blockquote><b>Quoting AKM♥:</b>" But I really want my boyfriend to go into the military. I feel like it would be good for a lot of reasons, ... [snip!] ... February to find one with no luck, I feel he would benefit from military history in the future. Am I wrong to think this way??"</blockquote>


If it's not something he truly wants, yes! Once you join the military you join for x amount of years. The military is not like any other ordinary job. He can't wake up one day and say, "This is not for me, I quit." and go out hunting for another job.

If he's making a lot of mistakes sit down and talk I him. As a couple figure out what you guys can do to better your situation.

I know someone who went into the military strictly out of 'family/girlfriend' pressure. He's now out, early, and has to pay back a $20K sign-on bonus and no one will hire a dishonorably discharged soldier. He didn't go to any of his drills because he didn't want to, or was too lazy.

Military will not fix someone who will not do it especially if there minds weren't prepared for it either..
And sadly, they may just see the $ signs, sign up, realize he could go to war, and get discharged and screw up their lives even worse..

He just has a lot of growing up to do, and I really want my parents to be proud/happy.
I know a lot of people who have gone into the army and come back totally different. As in, same person, but higher manners. I feel it could help shape him for the future.
Also, I am not pushing it on him. I have asked if it's something he would like, or do, and he said yes. But he has a bad knee and doesn't think they'd let him in. So I do not believe it will ever happen.