Forums > Special NeedsPage 1 2by: i ♥ nora

I didnt know what to do.

posted 18th May '12
Today at the check out line, a mentally handicapped young woman was screaming in the supermarket to find her grandma. The older woman in front of me said very nastily "well, SOMEONE wants her grandma!"- appalled that someone was screaming. I shot back "she has reason!"
It was obvious that the lost young woman was more than scared and embarrassed, PISSED OFF! She punched the yellow m&m character a few times and was cursing that her grandmother knows better than to leave her like this. I didn’t know what to do because of how angry she was. A cashier came and walked her to the podium where they paged her grandmother a few times. I didn’t see their reunion.
My question is, what should I have done? I never want to be a person that watches and does nothing to help. I was scared that she was going to hit me. I didn’t know how to appropriately approach the situation.
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I have 1 child & live in New Jersey
posted 18th May '12
I would have just called a manager over.
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I have 1 child & live in Pennsylvania
posted 18th May '12
Normally, I have DD with me when I go grocery shopping, so I would have avoided her. I would have attempted to let an employee know, though.
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I'm due February 2nd, have 1 child & live in Texas
posted 18th May '12
I probably would have given her some distance but talked to her calmly and asked her what her grandmother looked like and asked if she wanted me to help her find her. I would have to be in the situation to really gauge what would work with the individual. I have worked with adults with disabilities and had a million things thrown at me and been spit at and called names so I wouldn't be too worried but I would want to calm the lady down so she wouldnt hurt herself or someone else.
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I have 1 child & live in Tucson, Arizona
posted 18th May '12
Quoting Noneya Business:" I would have just called a manager over."

A cashier went over to her and helped her, but you could see everyones hesitation because of how violent she was to the m&m stand. No one wants to get punched you know? The managers are never around at this store.

I just feel horrible for not going to her and trying to help her. Maybe it's a useless guilt?
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I have 1 child & live in New Jersey
posted 18th May '12
That's kind of a tough situation. I have worked with disabled children before and I had weeks of training to handle situations like that. If you don't handle it properly you could make things worse. But I know how you feel and it sucks to be kinda helpless and you want to do something but not sure what to do. If the cashier hadn't of come then I think the best situation for you was to of gotten someone to help. But the cashier already came so i'm sure things worked out fine.
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I have 1 child & live in Arizona
posted 18th May '12
i would have said something to the woman and shut her up. how disgustingly rude of her to say that to a handicapped woman! and shame on the grandmother for leaving her side!
don't beat yourself up though, not much you really could have done in this type of situation.
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I have 2 kids & live in Richardson, Texas
posted 18th May '12
Hard to know what to do. Every situation is different. In that particular one if I felt unsafe I wouldn't approach. Not if she had other willing help. I guess if I was without my kids and she had no help then I would help even if I was nervous. Which i am more likely to do now that I have a special needs child and am more comfortable handling delayed out disabled people. Really tho if you are scared she can sense it and it may not really be of help.
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I have 2 kids & 3 angel babies & live in Oregon City, Oregon
posted 18th May '12
It is actually better for you to let the store handle it.

If you were to get involved, and she ended up getting violent with you and hurting herself, you could possibly be sued. Sounds crazy, but people are litigious.....definitely, not saying that this family is, but you never know.
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I'm due December 28th, have 1 child & live in Ontario
posted 18th May '12
THank you all for your thoughts on this.
I have no experience with disabled children or adults and didnt know how to handle the situation if I did approach her. As one of you mentioned, I did NOT want to make her feel any worse, cause added anxiety, scare her, etc.
I still feel bad- but I think it was best for me to not approach her especially since someone else did very quickly.
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I have 1 child & live in New Jersey
posted 18th May '12
I would have let someone know, but I would have waited until they found her grandmother.
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I'm due October 14th (a girl), have 1 child & live in Henderson, Nevada
posted 18th May '12
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" It is actually better for you to let the store handle it. If you were to get involved, and she ended ... [snip!] ... possibly be sued. Sounds crazy, but people are litigious.....definitely, not saying that this family is, but you never know."

I never thought of that- thank you.
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I have 1 child & live in New Jersey
posted 21st May '12
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" It is actually better for you to let the store handle it. If you were to get involved, and she ended ... [snip!] ... possibly be sued. Sounds crazy, but people are litigious.....definitely, not saying that this family is, but you never know."

legally if she was trying to help she could not b sued,,,shes protected by the good samaritan law
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I'm due April 30th (a boy) & live in Iowa
posted 21st May '12
Quoting Tracie List:" legally if she was trying to help she could not b sued,,,shes protected by the good samaritan law"

Technically, the New Jersey Good Samaritan Law only covers medical care at the site of an accident or the case of an emergency.

To me, this doesn't fit into either of those.

ASSEMBLY, No. 2270, STATE OF NEW JERSEY, 208th LEGISLATURE
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I'm due December 28th, have 1 child & live in Ontario
posted 22nd May '12
I work in a store where the manger is very hatefull towards handicaped ppl children included she refuses to be near them and help them find things in the store. We get alot of handicaped adults in the store all the time and one lady doesnt talk she just screams all the time she is always with a care taker related I believe but we have had many situations happen like that and I always am the one who is there to help out, my manager once said in front of them that she wishes she could put up a sign that says no retarted ppl not alowed in here. It was down right hurtful and the care taker was so shocked over it as I was too.

In my pregnancy I had testing done cause they thought my baby may have trisomy 21 and I had to take time off work so when I told her why I was going for testing she said ugh I would abort if I were you we dont need more ppl like that around here and then said dont think you can just bring it in here to shop with you.....We had plenty of words that day and she tried to fire me over it but that obviously didnt happen. I hope an incident like thisnever happens where I work cause she would be so mean about it.
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I have 3 kids & live in Ontario
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