My husband cheated on me

My husband of 4 years with whom I have 3 little children with cheated on me. I have been having my suspicions for a while but today by reading his text messages it was confirmed.....again. We got married after only a month today, we were young and dumb single soldiers who were incredibly infatuated with each other. He was my first orgasm. He's a puerto rican from Chicago Illinois, I'm a white country girl from Bloomington Indiana. After we got married we didn't get a long, I fully believe we were never in love till a few years ago. We've cheated on each other a couple of times, him more than me. Last year I found out he asked my old friend to have sex with him all because he hadnt gotten laid in a week or so, then this time it was the same thing different friend. However for the last 7 months I've had extreme pain to where I got a laproscopy done on my pelvic area this last Monday, the gyn said my female parts are swollen and he wants to do a hysterectomy as soon as possible. So for seven months I've had this mysterious pain with no answers, I'm a stay at home mom, and army wife. The last thing on my mind is sex, plus having sex for me feels like I'm losing my virginity all over again. He said he did it cause I haven't been satisfying him! Seriously because I've had medical issues! He says I don't clean, cook, or do his laundry everyday......cause I'm in pain! He says he warned me that this would happen if he didn't get oral or some kind of sex, well I'm sorry oral is really NASTY! He said his mom even warned me! But I know his mom wouldn't condone his actions not for a sec. He's asked girls for sex so many times....I don't know what to do. He tries to make up excuses to be mad at me about saying how I'm not being the wife he needs. He said "you knew how sex was important to me when we got married", well yeah I did but people change especially after having kids. We don't even have date nights, how am I supposed to have sex the way he wants when I don't get romance ya know? Apart of me wants to leave him cause sometimes sometimes I feel he isn't "the one" but I do love him and want it to work especially for our kids. I grew up without a father I never want that for my kids. I can't leave him cause I have no money and no place to go. Family isn't an option. I sometimes think to myself how I wish I had married my country boy, but that's too late. My husband has different dreams than me, he's a city boy through and through while I'm the dreamer, I want to move to Alaska and live up in the mountains with my kids and soulmate. We are so different and yet so alike, we both grew up in broken homes and our kids mean everything to us. I don't know what to do y'all, I'm so heartbroken.

You're relationship sounds toxic! You should leave.

I'm sorry, I'd be gone. Cheating, especially over and over again is a deal breaker for me. Sorry...he sounds like a douche bag.

I'm sorry he cheated but IMHO it seems like your marriage has been a train wreck from the start. You don't deserve to be cheated on and honestly you could do better, but until you realize that you shouldn't be putting up with this smurf you're going to continue to stay. ( i hope that didn't come off too rude, it wasn't intended to be that way)

I'm sorry. All I can say s follow your heart and gut. Only you can make the decision to leave or stay.


I'm also sorry you are at FLW. That place sucks  

Growing up in a "broken home" is better than growing up in a home where family members disrespect and hurt each other without caring of the consequences. Unless he's willing to put all he can into fixing the relationship and changing way, its not gonna happen.

I wish you all the luck, but think its time to start over. I'm sorry momma.

This is why you should wait until you're a grown up to get married, or at least able to act like a grown up.

Then again, some men never grow up.

I'm sorry you have to go through all of that. He sounds like a total dick.

Simple, leave, and move on with your life. He sounds like a complete pig.

I dont know you, but Im sorry to hear about your pain. As for him I know women could be on their death bed and still do our duties! I'm sorry to hear he's treating you this way! I'll keep you in my prays for a better tomorrow. The most I can say is hang in there!!! I hope it all works out and I hope you dont have a hysterectomy and your pain subsides. As for him he should be giving you his all. TRust me I'm going thru similar situations. Just keep your head up!!  

I'm sorry, mama, but he sounds like a huge douche.
I hope everything works out.  

How can you love someone who totally disrespects you? How can you even look at him everyday? Wow.

Y'all are right about everything. I have no where to go or anything so I'm stuck

awww this breaks my heart you sound so sweet well do what you think is best if you don't want to leave try counseling good luck

i really hate to say this but it is kind of your fault because he know you aren't going to leave. I mean you just stick around though he is treating you like this so why would he do any differently? you have got to stand up for your self! Let him no this smurf ain't going to fly anymore!

What the sad part is though is your kids will eventually be old enough to know this smurf is happening and that is a lot worse then a broken home