I Just Need Support

April 16th 2012 at 2 am a doctor in the hospital (long story why I was there) walked in and told me I was expecting. It was the best but yet most terrible news id ever gotten. My whole life all I've wanted is to be a mommy. Here was my chance but with being 18, not done with high school, no job,and no drivers license how could I support myself and my baby? I thought me and my fiancee would find a way so I told him and we talked about names to relieve stress, Safira for a girl or Kalcifer for a boy. I was so excited but when I got home it hit me truley how could I raise a baby? After days and hours of research I knew I could not keep my child so it was down to open adoption, or abortion. I chose abortion and my fiancee told me he would support me through it even though he wanted us to keep it. May 14th 2012 was the day I gave up my baby my fiancee held my hand until I got called from the waiting room I watched the ultra sound and I almost left because there was my beautiful angel growing inside me but instead I laid down and let the procedure happen. I prayed to God to take care of my baby until I could have my angel and raise them the right way I cryed and cryed until it was over. After recovery I went back to my fiancee and I've regretted my choice ever since couldn't I have found a way? Shouldn't I have given a deserving family my angel? I'm so lost and I would love to hear others stories or advice

u are very strong! there is no way i could do it nor to i believe in it but if u knew u couldnt raise it thats ur choice. Im glad u had someone there to support u

Thank you, but honestly I wonder if abotion was the cowards way out. I've never believed in doing this ever but I am happy my fiancee's been so fantastic through all of this.

maybe not the coward way out but i have a feeling if u kept the baby and chose adoption one u would of felt the baby start moving and giving birth u would of wanted to keep it. yea it would of been hard but u would of had 9 months to get everything u needed to do done! that includes getting ur DL and a job and saving! it would of been tuff and u could of done it!! Im glad u have someone standing by u and lettin u know everything is going to be alright!!

Thats true i guess one day ill have my baby though. Knowing me i would of wanted to keep it i dunno maybe it was the right choice or maybe i was wrong

  I'm sorry that you're so remorsful. I promise you, it does get better! You did what was right for you, and that makes you one strong lady. One day when you are done school and you have a career, a husband, a house and a car and you do finally become a mommy you will thank yourself for waiting until the time was right. PM me if you ever need to talk.  

Hey I made an account just to reply to this.. Lol sounds creepy kinda actually. But anyways I got preggers right before my 19th bday which was also my first year of college.. To a guy I barely knew(now fiancée) abortion was the first word out my mouth when I told him.. He just agreed and was super supportive. Held my hand all the way through, and even took care of me(dropped out of the best college in Louisiana LSU) to come take care of me because I had gotten so sick. A month after I had to get the abortion done again! It was horrible.. And honestly I was mentally fine"stable" or at least in denial/shock for almost 7 months before I clicked out and started hating him,and myself, secretly scheming to get pregnant again, and wanting to commit suicide because I felt like I didn't deserve to live. Now 2 years later.. I still wish I was pregnant every month although I'm gettin over it. I dot regret my actions because I'm at a better point in my life right now, and I don't think I could have achieved that with a baby.. Although I don't know what kinda happiness and life I could have had. All I can say is it's hard, but it gets easier.. And someday when u know ur mentally and financially ready you can try again... And be able to enjoy being pregnant and being a mom. Everything happens or a reason.

Thank you Nicole I truley do hope it gets better soon

Cocoblack I'm so sorry for what you went through that sounds so horribe I haven't felt much like living here lately I have my ultrasound picture and I don't think I've really been able to keep myself from crying every time I look at it just waking up and not feeling nausea has upset me so terribly I hope it starts to get better soon just right now I don't see how it will and that isn't creepy its actually very nice there aren't many people left in the world that are willing to be nice to strangers

Ohh no problem.. After I went thru everything I tried to gets real with it alone and I wished someone could have talked to me and told me their story so I didn't feel so lonely.. So I try to share with others now so they know it's somethin u can totally get through  

That's very nice I didn't realize just how much it would help me to hear others stories