1st Doctors appt after losing my baby

What do I need to expect tomorrow when I go in for my doctors appt . its a check up after having a stillborn .. what are they going to say or do?

I'm sorry for your loss.

My prenatal check-up after losing our son in October was about 4 weeks after I delivered.

They checked my weight and blood pressure.
I had a consultation with my Dr., he asked if I wanted any birth control. I declined.

They gave me the results of the test they ran on the placenta to find a cause a death, those test all came back normal so they took additional blood from me to do more testing.
I don't know if you'd want this or if it is an option but, I signed up for private grief counseling through my Dr. clinic that day as well.

I am sorry hun. When my best firend's baby died they still did the vaginal check, and culture. They also offered support and grief counseling. The way you are feeling and coping right now will be your doctor's major concern.

Quoting Crew Love [20] ♥:" I'm sorry for your loss. My prenatal check-up after losing our son in October was about 4 weeks after ... [snip!] ... if you'd want this or if it is an option but, I signed up for private grief counseling through my Dr. clinic that day as well."

I am sorry for your loss. When were you ready to TTC again? If you don't mind me asking...

Quoting Crew Love [20] ♥:" I'm sorry for your loss. My prenatal check-up after losing our son in October was about 4 weeks after ... [snip!] ... if you'd want this or if it is an option but, I signed up for private grief counseling through my Dr. clinic that day as well."

thank you for the information , kinda nervous .

Quoting aprilrum:" I am sorry for your loss. When were you ready to TTC again? If you don't mind me asking..."

No problem!
Right away, Chris (husband) and I knew what was missing from our life is a child. We found out he was gone at 31wks2d, on October 15 which is also ironically National Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. It stung bad because just two days prior I had my 31w check up and everything seemed perfect!! When two people love each other as much as we do, it just seemed so unfair for them to be robbed of what they want so badly time and time again. I delivered him on October 20, I waited because I had to let family know what had happened and I needed time to mentally prepare to say "hello" and "good-bye" at the same time.  

I got my first AF at exactly 5 weeks post partum and we started TTC soon as she left, took us 8 more weeks to conceive which at the time seemed like forever. lol

At first I felt guilty for thinking of trying again and that caused me to hesitate a little, I felt like I was trying to replace Maxwell but there will never be a such thing. This baby is a sibling for Maxwell, someone for him to protect and watch over all the way from Heaven. ♥

Quoting Crew Love [20] ♥:" No problem! Right away, Chris (husband) and I knew what was missing from our life is a child. We found ... [snip!] ... be a such thing. This baby is a sibling for Maxwell, someone for him to protect and watch over all the way from Heaven. ♥"

31 weeks ?? !!! OMG bless your heart 1 I see you due oct. 1 I was due October 3   , they said the same thing about my little girl .. they did'nt know what cause it && they said all my ultrasounds was fine   and I dont know when i want to try TTC again ... idk if I want to do birth control either cause I can control myself from getting pregnant again lol but its so hard knowing shes due in October && shes no longer here   But like you said never will she be replaced .. but she will have a lil brother or sister when its time  

Quoting Crew Love [20] ♥:" No problem! Right away, Chris (husband) and I knew what was missing from our life is a child. We found ... [snip!] ... be a such thing. This baby is a sibling for Maxwell, someone for him to protect and watch over all the way from Heaven. ♥"

You seem like you do have a very loving husband... mine was supportive when I lost my baby. We conceived about a week after miscarrying. I went in for an ultrasound and the baby had no heart beat. I have 2 other kids and and a step daughter that we have quite a bit. I pray every day that this baby is healthy. You ladies are so strong... ty for sharing the story of your lil angels with me. I am sure they watch over yall every day!

Quoting Zuris_MyAngel:" thank you for the information , kinda nervous ."

That' s understandable. I was afraid and I really did not want to go to mine. I only went because I had hopes of getting answers as to what happened to Maxwell. I was filled with so much anxiety having to go back there with an empty womb when I really should have been 35 wks pregnant. What really put the icing on the cake was when I was sitting in the waiting area to get my blood drawn for the additional tests, there was a woman much older than me (if I remember right she was over 40) calling everyone in her phone gushing about her baby and how he put on a show during the u/s. She had just had her anatomy scan. I was thinking lady if only you knew what I have just gone through, you'd have some sympathy and courtesy and make your phone calls after you leave or at least once you get outside. I just broke down crying in the car afterwards, thinking about her and somehow she is pregnant with a healthy baby, yet my body at age 23 has failed me and my child, I had two early firs trimester losses before losing Maxwell. I was ANGRY!


Maxwell was perfect, except his nuchal cord had gotten so twisted and tangled around itself, that it restricted the flow of oxygen and nutrients from the placenta. I believe in my heart something else also contributed to his demise. I did see the cord and it didn't look normal, but as a mother I heavily blamed myself because I should have know something was wrong. I was having some minor pain two days before he passed but my logic was "okay, I JUST saw the Dr. today, everything is fine. This is just normal pregnancy discomfort", well two days later he was gone. So this time anything that doesn't remotely feel right I will be at L&D in a split second.

I wish I had just followed my intuition and gone to get checked instead of assuming everything was okay because I had "just seen the Dr. that same day". People tell me not to blame myself and a lot of people would have done the same thing in my shoes but I can't help but feel like I let Maxwell down, he needed my help and I failed him.

Anyways, I wish you luck tomorrow. Be strong! I hope you don't have to come face-to-face with a woman like I did because that was so painful for me to sit there and endure but I couldn't leave. I was forced to sit there.

If you need someone to talk to ever, feel free to PM me, I will also add you on FB if you want. I am an admin of a private, hidden group just for angel mommies and we have a great support system going on there. We would love to have you.

Also this Momma has had two stillborn boys, both at 39w3d exactly, I reached out to her after we lost Maxwell and she is such a blessing and inspiration in my life, I am sure she can be the same to you. Her is her link: Miracle Mommy Magen

And there is also this awesome group of women that make weighted bears for angel mommies. Their wait list is rather long and it only opens on the 30th of each month but I have heard of these bears providing real comfort for women that are angel mommies. Molly Bears I hope I get my Maxwell Bear by the time I have LB, if not at least by Thanksgiving so we can take Christmas pics together as a family. ♥

Quoting aprilrum:" You seem like you do have a very loving husband... mine was supportive when I lost my baby. We conceived ... [snip!] ... You ladies are so strong... ty for sharing the story of your lil angels with me. I am sure they watch over yall every day!"

thank you   sorry for your lost aslo .. <3

Quoting Zuris_MyAngel:" 31 weeks ?? !!! OMG bless your heart 1 I see you due oct. 1 I was due October 3   , they said the same ... [snip!] ... no longer here   But like you said never will she be replaced .. but she will have a lil brother or sister when its time  "

Yeah people don't realize that this type of loss happens A LOT. It's unfortunate and you'd think with all the advances in technology and medicine this type of thing wouldn't happen anymore but whatever is in God's will, will be.

As someone who has had miscarriages and a late term loss, I can tell you the experience of a m/c cannot compare to a late term loss. While m/c do hurt and cause grief, there is nothing like walking into a hospital pregnant and then having to leave with empty arms when you should be bringing your baby home.
It's funny cause I remember thinking that my miscarriages were the worst thing that could ever happen to me but I had no idea the worst was yet to come.

I knew BC was not an option for us. I am not a fan of hormonal birth control anymore because it took a while to conceive Maxwell after quitting the pill.
It is up to you and you know what the right choice for you is. Best of luck. :-)

Quoting aprilrum:" You seem like you do have a very loving husband... mine was supportive when I lost my baby. We conceived ... [snip!] ... You ladies are so strong... ty for sharing the story of your lil angels with me. I am sure they watch over yall every day!"

Thanks.  

Quoting Zuris_MyAngel:" thank you   sorry for your lost aslo .. <3"

Thank you, It was hard, but I couldn't imagine carrying one as long as you ladies did and loosing it... that is just so heart breaking.

Quoting Crew Love [20] ♥:" That' s understandable. I was afraid and I really did not want to go to mine. I only went because I ... [snip!] ... Maxwell Bear by the time I have LB, if not at least by Thanksgiving so we can take Christmas pics together as a family. ♥"

yes please my name is Dejah Ramsey on facebook the one with the pink shirt && I will that would really help me get passed this ... send me anything that helps .. thank you so much !