Quoting Zuris_MyAngel:" thank you for the information , kinda nervous ."
That' s understandable. I was afraid and I really did not want to go to mine. I only went because I had hopes of getting answers as to what happened to Maxwell. I was filled with so much anxiety having to go back there with an empty womb when I really should have been 35 wks pregnant. What really put the icing on the cake was when I was sitting in the waiting area to get my blood drawn for the additional tests, there was a woman much older than me (if I remember right she was over 40)
in her phone gushing about her baby and how he put on a show during the u/s. She had just had her anatomy scan. I was thinking lady if only you knew what I have just gone through, you'd have some sympathy and courtesy and make your phone calls after you leave or at least once you get outside. I just broke down crying in the car afterwards, thinking about her and somehow she is pregnant with a healthy baby, yet my body at age 23 has failed me and my child, I had two early firs trimester losses before losing Maxwell. I was ANGRY!
Maxwell was perfect, except his nuchal cord had gotten so twisted and tangled around itself, that it restricted the flow of oxygen and nutrients from the placenta. I believe in my heart something else also contributed to his demise. I did see the cord and it didn't look normal, but as a mother I heavily blamed myself because I should have know something was wrong. I was having some minor pain two days before he passed but my logic was "okay, I JUST saw the Dr. today, everything is fine. This is just normal pregnancy discomfort", well two days later he was gone. So this time anything that doesn't remotely feel right I will be at L&D in a split second.
I wish I had just followed my intuition and gone to get checked instead of assuming everything was okay because I had "just seen the Dr. that same day". People tell me not to blame myself and a lot of people would have done the same thing in my shoes but I can't help but feel like I let Maxwell down, he needed my help and I failed him.
Anyways, I wish you luck tomorrow. Be strong! I hope you don't have to come face-to-face with a woman like I did because that was so painful for me to sit there and endure but I couldn't leave. I was forced to sit there.
If you need someone to talk to ever, feel free to PM me, I will also add you on FB if you want. I am an admin of a private, hidden group just for angel mommies and we have a great support system going on there. We would love to have you.
Also this Momma has had two stillborn boys, both at 39w3d exactly, I reached out to her after we lost Maxwell and she is such a blessing and inspiration in my life, I am sure she can be the same to you. Her is her link: Miracle Mommy Magen
And there is also this awesome group of women that make weighted bears for angel mommies. Their wait list is rather long and it only opens on the 30th of each month but I have heard of these bears providing real comfort for women that are angel mommies. Molly Bears
I hope I get my Maxwell Bear by the time I have LB, if not at least by Thanksgiving so we can take Christmas pics together as a family. ♥