anyone else going through their pregnancy alone??
posted 11th May '12
I am almost 17 weeks pregnant with a lil boy and I already have a 5 year old boy. My 5 year old son's father has never been involved and it was extremely hard emotionally at first but I am at peace with it now. When I found out I was pregnant again I feared I might be going it alone yet again. The father and I stopped talking the day I told him I was pregnant. He offered to pay half for an abortion procedure and that was pretty much it. He never contacted me again. A few months later I sent him a text letting him know I was still pregnant and basically asking him if he planned to be involved. Sure enough he never responded. For moral and just personal beliefs I could not go through with an abortion. Basically I am just so upset, more at myself than anything for getting myself in this predicament yet again... Is anyone else facing a similar situation?? quote
posted 11th May '12
I have. A lot of human here have too I'm sure. We are all lovely ladies and you'll never be alone here! Good luck, and welcome to BG!quote
posted 11th May '12
Your baby has a reason and a place in your life even if their fathers do not. I realized this for myself when I look back on my 17 year old self with no job, no home and no support. She saved me from drugs...maybe that's where you should start..looking into what it is in your life that needs help and try to figure out how this baby can help you fix/overcome it.quote
posted 12th May '12
It may b lonely at times but you can do it.
I spent this entire pregnancy alone.. the bd and i broke up before i knew i was pregnant. I broke up w him actually... realized he was not what i wanted. He moved back to where he came from... clear across the country in cali.
We thought about getting back together after i knew i was preggo but again i ended up ending it w him. Id rather be alone than w someone when its not right.
We had on and off communication for most the pregnancy but he lives so far away he wasnt here for any of it. Plus he is immature and trying to avoid child support and always called me from private #s so i had no way of contacting him..... when i told him the babys name i picked he basically said i dont like it and im not going to be in babys life then....
Ok good riddance. U dont need that man in your kids life. Us women r strong enough to do it ourselves. Just be strong... focus on baby stuff and your other kid and let that help pass the time. Thats what i did. Ive put all drama out the window focus on my kids work and new baby stuff and have never been happier.
But possibly keep the door open so if one day this guy decides he will b involved in the kids life he can... as long as it wouldnt hurt the kid but be a good thing. My other kids dad is there 100% for his kids and its a blessing for them to have both of us. I know its hard but im hopefully maybe one day the new bd will get it together for his son.
posted 13th May '12
Yeah Im in the same boat as you.
I was with husband through first pregnancy but it was horrible. He made me miserable and we fought all the time. We kind of tried being together after baby girl was born but we didnt work out and I just got pregnant again. He too wanted me to get an abortion. I found out I was having twins around 10 weeks and he was even more pissed. He just kept telling me I should have listened to him about the abortion. He left me preggo with twins and my 9 month old daughter.
Even though I have no idea how I will manage with all these babies lol, I feel so much more at ease this pregnancy. None of that extra stress he put on me or being scared when he went out drinking.
I guess everything happens for a reason and I just hope things fall into place.
***sorry if typos, on ipad and uuggghhh.
posted 15th May '12
I went thru it alone we met young and after 6 years and all the talks about what we would name our kids and all that stuff you talk about it actually happen and I told him I'm pregnant he told me to get an abortion cause he wasn't ready for kids, he wanted me but not our baby so it ended we talked for a few months cause he hoped for a boy then when I had a girl contact was so so with him then he met her at 6 mo then around 8 mo go he cut all ties...it sucks no lie but I feel that my lil girl was a blessing she helped me grow up and see the bigger picture she motivated me to do more for her and myself....people are put in our life's for a reason though they might not stay in our life's it's all for a reason.....good luck to you and god blessquote
posted 17th May '12
I know exactly what you are going through, I went through the same thing with my first 2 pregnancy's. It is very hard and very straining but it is worth it in the end and don't ever doubt yourself or your abilities for a single second because you are an amazing mum and no matter what your lil man is going to love you for having him. The way I see it is that the father is missing out on a very important part of his child's life, it's his own fault and you don't need to feel responsible for his inability to take responsibility for his actions. Chin up hunny and remember that here are people out here to talk to if you need them quote
posted 18th May '12
am going to a similiar situation best thing to do is pray and i hope u have have his personal info,whether he wants to be a father or not he will take care of his child........CHILD SUPPORT!!!!!what he dont wanna man up and do wash ur hands of it an let the courts handle it god bless u and urs.quote
posted 19th May '12
Im going it alone...My boyfriend decided to leave me at six month pregnant he just messaged me one day saying he never wanted to see me again and told me not to contact him he told me when i first met him 4 year ago that he didnt want children but why stick with me for six month and pretend everything was okay,is this all my fault ? ...Im really scared incase im not a good enough parent for my son when he gets here quote
posted 19th May '12
<blockquote><b>Quoting Kirsty Forster:</b>" Im going it alone...My boyfriend decided to leave me at six month pregnant he just messaged me one day ... [snip!] ... was okay,is this all my fault ? ...Im really scared incase im not a good enough parent for my son when he gets here "</blockquote>
When I told me ex I was pregnant he cursed me out called me every name in the book pushed for an abortion so I ignored him for a week and one day he called and told me he missed me and loved me stuck around till I was 4 months pregnant it was good for them 4 mo I took his behavior before as him being scared u know nope after 4 mo he told me it was my fault I was pregnant so deal with it...we didn't talk till I called him and told him I was getting induced his response was good luck and that was it.....he's seen her once she's 2 now he wants nothing to do with her...I feel for u I went through it lone and wondered wtf am I gonna do am I gonna be a good mom do I need him....your gonna be a great parent all the love you have for your child makes up for everything it's gonna be hard and ur gonna hurt but ur gonna grow and become so stong from it that u won't need him if he chooses not to be there at least that's what I've learned from it all...I wish all of you good luck and god bless
posted 20th May '12
I am also going threw my second pregnancy alone. Although not in the same situation as you are. My husband wants to be here and wishes he could be, but duty calls. I'm 31 weeks pregnant now with our third child and he left a couple weeks ago for his fourth deployment overseas. The only advice I have is that we women are a lot stronger then they give us credit for. There will always be fears, and what if's, but if I have learned anything from my mother (single mom of five kids) and the many ladies that are married-single parents around post it's that we don't give ourselves enough credit. We can do it, not because we have to, but because we love our children and will do our best to make their life as happy and fulfilled as possible, even if the father doesn't happen to be in the picture. It's their loss if they chose to leave, they will never be able to enjoy each and every moment they missed out on and I feel sorry for them to not know that joy of the first word, first crawl, first walk, first "I Love You"...quote
posted 20th May '12
I know exactly what your going through. My bd cheated on me and called me every name in the book but i still wanted him to be here for me and our son. But after i told him what i was naming my son he got mad and hasnt talked to me since. That was almost 3 weeks ago. Dont doubt your parenting ever. You'll be a stronger mother for going it alone.quote
posted 21st May '12
I am 19 weeks pregnant with my first child, im having a little girl! The father has been very emotionally abusive during my whole pregnancy so far. Even going as far as to tell me he hopes i have a miscarriage or a stillborn baby. I am hoping he comes around at the end but i doubt it! You arent the only one raising a child alone. I am going to have to be a lot more careful in the future about the men who i date, so i dont end up with another bad guy :/ but I am very excited to be a mommy! Plenty of women raise kids alone, and do a great job. We just have to turn to other people to support us quote
posted 21st May '12
I can relate. My childs father is in prison...looks like for 3 years and Im only 4 weeks. I just found out today. We are in love and wanna be together. He doesnt know yet of course cus I had to write and tell him. Im sure he is excited...i think he tried to get me pregnant right before he went in. He already has several other kids too which makes it harder on me. Im prepared to go thru it alone. I considered abortion and still am actually. Im gonna give it time and real thought and prayer. It hurts to even think of killing it tho. It doesnt seem fair at all I just want him to be here sooo bad. If he could, I know he would. But God will never put more on me than I can bare!quote