re: Deliver Me: I think we're gonna go for it

Quoting NinaBlue:“ Yeah, it's true... the pain part does really kinda suck. But in order to cope, I've enrolled in a childbirth ... [snip!] ... as a natural alternative to medication. And the guys from Iron Maiden have agreed to serve as my birth attendant team.”

see, i was going for the "pain is all in your head" technique when i was getting ready for my labor, unfortunately, max came three weeks early so i hadn't had the time to get it "out" of my head.

needless to say, i don't think i'd have the energy for headbanging or rage.

i was a bit of the whimpering shuffling mouse sort once the real contractions took hold.

i wonder if rage would've helped.

ps. you're hilarious.

Quoting NinaBlue:“ Yeah, it's true... the pain part does really kinda suck. But in order to cope, I've enrolled in a childbirth ... [snip!] ... as a natural alternative to medication. And the guys from Iron Maiden have agreed to serve as my birth attendant team.”

So YOU'RE the bitch who has Maiden booked!
I had to settle for Kip Winger,David Coverdale,two of the douchebags from Stryper,and an Elvis impersonator who is currently training as a Danzig impersonator.
I did however,rig up a special vaginal catapault which will fire out spikes with each and every contraction.I might have to walk like a cowboy for a couple days to avoid personal injury,but believe me,it'll be well worth it.

Quoting Ms. Von Fate:“ So YOU'RE the bitch who has Maiden booked! I had to settle for Kip Winger,David Coverdale,two of the ... [snip!] ... might have to walk like a cowboy for a couple days to avoid personal injury,but believe me,it'll be well worth it.”

Dave Murray told me that he and the rest of Iron Maiden were totally willing to help out at your labor (vaginal catapult and all) but that they got tired of waiting around. I guess they were bored of you in your crotchless red vinyl, dripping in goat's blood, yelling something about Adam Ant and a limbo line and trying to fit everyone for urethra-sized firecrackers-- all the while, no actual labor anywhere to be seen. You know how these guys can be.... they get antsy.

I wouldn't worry, though. Winger is known to be an exceptionally experienced practitioner of the Birth Inferno Method.

Oh good.
I had started to question Kip's credentials...although he does carry around a speculum shaped like a Flying V,which I think is pretty uh...speculumtacular.
Dave's not the only one getting impatient.
I bought all this goat's blood early,and it's starting to scab up..which is SO not as cool as it sounds.Makes a good snack though.Kinda tangy,kinda crunchy.

Quoting Ms. Von Fate:“ Oh good. I had started to question Kip's credentials...although he does carry around a speculum shaped ... [snip!] ... early,and it's starting to scab up..which is SO not as cool as it sounds.Makes a good snack though.Kinda tangy,kinda crunchy.”

I'll be damned! I thought the flying V speculum was just urban legend! Wow, the dude is more hardcore than I thought. Is it also true that he wears sparkly spandex scrubs with the sleeves ripped off and measures your cervix in relation to the size of the metal studs on his boots?

Sorry to hear about the goat's blood. Honestly, I would have thought you learned your lesson last time around when your first kid didn't come on schedule and you had planned that delivery room stunt with the albino boa constrictor and the mutant lizard hatchlings.

Let your animal wrangler handle all that stuff for you, Von Fate.

You girls suddenly have me wondering if Gwar can help out w/ my labor...they have some pretty good songs ..that would suit the situation nicely!
hmmmmmm...

Quoting Punkerella:“ You girls suddenly have me wondering if Gwar can help out w/ my labor...they have some pretty good songs ..that would suit the situation nicely! hmmmmmm...”

Ah, GWAR! Excellent choice! "Sun goes down, bodies on the ground. Swollen with pus, I shall further expound. As the vultures swirl, the batons twirl. We've come for your entrails." They'd certainly be a welcome addition to any Birth Inferno.

Quoting NinaBlue:“ Ah, GWAR! Excellent choice! "Sun goes down, bodies on the ground. Swollen with pus, I shall further ... [snip!] ... vultures swirl, the batons twirl. We've come for your entrails." They'd certainly be a welcome addition to any Birth Inferno.”

Agreed-a spectacular choice.
I'd suggest bringing loads of vienna sausages for that birth-just a hunch.