thank you for your support, no more advice is needed

I'm having a hard time deciding. There are so many reasons I want to get my baby daddy to sign over his rights to our daughter but I get so worried that she will grow up and not understand.

backstory: We were fifteen when I found out we were pregnant. We were careful most of the time, but it takes that one time so bang. I had a rough pregnancy from the start...
We broke up, he was completely immature. Yeah, yeah, he hadn't seen me all summer. Liar... So when I was about 5 months, he wanted to get back so why not try. We tried. Had her early, had to stay in the hospital a month and a half and we fought all the time. I'd put up with it. He became Psychotic. She turned one and I broke it off. Later I found out he was on meth... How lovely huh.
I finished school, focused on my daughter, and fell in love [not right away, I wouldn't even date] and now my daughter is three and is going to be a big sister in November. My boyfriend treats her wonderful. She loves him too but he's not her dad. She gets so happy when once every month or months he sees her and it breaks my heart.

Well the reason I want him to sign over his rights, he doesn't help me at all, and I don't need his help... and I heard he is back on meth, I know he drinks and smokes weed pretty often and I heard that his mom is shooting up. She had disappeared for awhile but she is back where he lives and I feel like if Nevaeh goes over there she will be around all that bad stuff she shouldn't have to be. It scares me to death to think she could be around that when he has her, even if it is hardly ever.

Any advice, if anyone read through that whole mess

Is he willing to sign over his rights? If he's not then you can't do much unless you can prove he is unfit for visitation

Quoting Chelsea.:" I'm having a hard time deciding. There are so many reasons I want to get my baby daddy to sign over ... [snip!] ... she could be around that when he has her, even if it is hardly ever. Any advice, if anyone read through that whole mess"

Do you have a custody order in place? I'd go for full custody. I don't think you can strip him of his parental rights unless another man is willing to adopt her? I'm not sure then.

I am pretty sure he would sign over his rights if he is doing meth again. Not being in the right mind.

I think you're absolutely right and I'd be wanting to break all ties with this man too. He cannot be any good to you or a child while he is no good to himself and I think your instincts are bang on - I know that's what I'd be doing in your shoes. I'm sure everyone will have their own opinion about this and some may think me harsh, but I don't do chances - not when there's so much at stake - the way I see it, this person could wreck your lives - I'd nip this in the bud right now.

My boyfriend wants to get her under his name so I don't think that will be a problem

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gen40:</b>" I think you're absolutely right and I'd be wanting to break all ties with this man too. He cannot be ... [snip!] ... - not when there's so much at stake - the way I see it, this person could wreck your lives - I'd nip this in the bud right now."</blockquote>



Thank you, I just feel so cruel to take he dad. I hope she'd understand it's because I love her

Quoting Chelsea.:" My boyfriend wants to get her under his name so I don't think that will be a problem"

Like adopt her? In certain states the two of you have to be married for a certain amount of time before the judge will let that happen. It might be harder to get his rights terminated unless he's willing and the judge rules it's in the childs best interest. For now i'd go for full custody and no visitation.

Quoting Chelsea.:" My boyfriend wants to get her under his name so I don't think that will be a problem"

How long have you been with this new boyfriend? Would it be wise'? Obviously I'm not living your life or walking in your shoes but would bringing a third party into this not complicate matters? I know we're all different and only you know what your relationship is like with your new man, but for me personally, I wouldn't be involving him at this level - not unless and until we were getting married (which I know makes me sound really old fashioned but I'd only do this is if I knew for sure this man was really for keeps). I don't know what your procedures are in your country but here we would be filing for sole custody. Best of luck whichever way you go!

Quoting ♡♡:" Like adopt her? In certain states the two of you have to be married for a certain amount of time before ... [snip!] ... unless he's willing and the judge rules it's in the childs best interest. For now i'd go for full custody and no visitation."

Yes, I have to agree with this lady, this sounds like good advice to me. Good luck x

Quoting ♡♡:" Like adopt her? In certain states the two of you have to be married for a certain amount of time before ... [snip!] ... unless he's willing and the judge rules it's in the childs best interest. For now i'd go for full custody and no visitation."

That's what I had thought but we are getting married, he's been shopping around for an engagement ring, he just wants to find the perfect one and I told him take his time because I don't wanna get married while I'm pregnant. Sooo looks like I'll go for full custody if he's not cooperative. Thanks

Quoting Gen40:" Yes, I have to agree with this lady, this sounds like good advice to me. Good luck x"

Thank you :]

Quoting Chelsea.:" That's what I had thought but we are getting married, he's been shopping around for an engagement ... [snip!] ... because I don't wanna get married while I'm pregnant. Sooo looks like I'll go for full custody if he's not cooperative. Thanks"

You'll still have to be married i think it's a year before the judge will let him adopt. Honestly i'd start with full custody and then go from there, getting his rights terminated will be a lot harder and very time consuming so just be prepared for that if it comes to it.