Quoting Mrs.O♥:" I'm going to try to keep up and respond to everyone as often as I can, it's just really hard right now, ... [snip!] ... had that were truly DHs and I didn't realize it would be this hard to cope. I wish I was having more strong times than sad ...."
You couldn't have said it better Ashleigh. It DOES require a grieving process because like you said, you must mourn for those children you might have had. I wish so much there was something I could say that would make you feel better but I know that right that's just not possible. All I can tell you is grieve all you need and I promise it WILL get better. It just sucks really hard right now.
One thing that helped my husband and myself immensely was to plan a small vacation for the near future. I felt I really needed to get away and planning the trip provided a much needed distraction. I know your husband isn't up for traveling right now and you've recently exhausted your funds for his surgery but I hope maybe the two of you can have a little mini excursion for a weekend somewhere. *hugs* to you both! <3