I'm currently 11 weeks and 3 days pregnant. The father and I broke up 4 days before I found out I was pregnant, and we were only together for two months. Its been rocky from the moment I told him. At first he wanted me to get rid of it then he changed his mind because my dad told him to man up and be a father. Since then, the only thing we've agreed on are the names for a boy or girl. He's been trying to control everything, and keeps putting me down. He has a history of violence, and has severe anger problems. He's never gotten physical with me, but I'm still scared. He constantly thinks of himself first, and how situations can benefit him. He's 7 years older than me, lives at home, his mom does his laundry, cleans his bathroom, he doesn't pay rent. I live on my own, I pay my own bills. He has a very good way of manipulating people into thinking he's a good guy. He's also dabbled in illegal things, and did again less than a year ago. I'm worried about him being the father and being in the babies life. I know children need both parents, but I'm just not sure what to do now.
He already has a record from a previous marriage. A few members of my family keep saying he'll change, but at his age, I just don't see it happening. I was on birth control when I got pregnant, so this was very unplanned. But I love this child regardless. I know I'll be a wonderful mother. I raised my friends son while she was going through some tough times while he was just an infant. He's a perfectly happy toddler now, and healthy. The father of my baby doesn't think I'll make a good mother, and it really hurts that he brings it up in some way every time we talk. I'm not perfect by any means, and I know that, but he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. He's lied to me on more than one occasion, and thinks its ok. I didn't want to tell him in the first place because I know what kind of person he is, but everyone else thought it was the right thing to do, and it's just been stress and hell to me since then. I don't want to be selfish, and he says he wants to be in the child's life, but with his initial reaction, and the way he's behaved towards me since then, I'd rather do this alone.
if you want him in the babies life then wait till baby is born but for now you should cut the ties keep him informed of anything he needs to know but anything else isnt his business and then when baby comes he will know the rules and you can carry on without the stress or fear of him . if the father wants to be involved then yes i think they should have that right but dont feel you need him because you dont doing it alone can be scary but we survive