re: I want a baby.

Quoting Cátia3k:" It amazes me to see people that are young too, but talk like they're 40"

Im talking from experience! I got pregnant at 19; I wish I had that time back so I could live a little and have fun.

I'm not saying you don't have experience, but from the way you talk it wasn't a wished pregnancy. What i'm saying is if she wanted to get pregnant and she had the right conditions, why not? If she really wanted to.

Quoting Cátia3k:" I'm not saying you don't have experience, but from the way you talk it wasn't a wished pregnancy. What ... [snip!] ... pregnancy. What i'm saying is if she wanted to get pregnant and she had the right conditions, why not? If she really wanted to."

bc at her age, she doesn't understand what some of us may, that life is much easier if you wait a few years and finish school and get your life settled before having a baby, having a baby first makes everything a hundred times harder

Quoting ang_turtle+2:" bc at her age, she doesn't understand what some of us may, that life is much easier if you wait a few ... [snip!] ... and finish school and get your life settled before having a baby, having a baby first makes everything a hundred times harder"

I think that you're not understanding me. My point is if she had a stable life, like living with her partner, have a job, be independent, if she had those conditions, than why not. Of course i don't agree if she got pregnant without a proper life, living with her parents and still in school!

Quoting Cátia3k:" I think that you're not understanding me. My point is if she had a stable life, like living with her ... [snip!] ... than why not. Of course i don't agree if she got pregnant without a proper life, living with her parents and still in school!"

no i understand you perfectly, and my point still stands, it doesn't matter what kind of a position she's in, it still makes life 10 times harder to take care of the things she needs to if she has a baby now instead of waiting

But why? I'm not trying to argue with anyone, just trying to understand your point of view.

Quoting Cátia3k:" But why? I'm not trying to argue with anyone, just trying to understand your point of view."

bc i didn't go to college until after i had my kids, i didn't really get my "adult" life set up until after my kids even though I was 20 when my first was born, trying to do all of that after i had kids made it hell to try and accomplish

Well, whatever the post girl wants to do, i hope it makes her happy.

Bye  

Quoting Cátia3k:" Well, whatever the post girl wants to do, i hope it makes her happy. Bye  "

i just hope whatever choice she makes, she doesn't regret later on

i was in ur shoes when i was 17, had been wanting a baby. talked to my bf of several years about (in the heat of the moment) told him i wanted a baby, and walla. I have a 3yr old daughter going on 4.
I had her when i was 18, i love her to death dont get me wrong. shes my world. But i feel like it wasnt fair to her. Her father and i split up, he turned into the biggest prick out there, its been nothing but heart ache and pain with lawyers and custody battle. Which seems stupid to me since he had no interest in her till child support was brought up. I do my best to protect her from all of that. I love her to death but there are times where i look back on that moment and wish i had waited. I feel like a failed myself and her. But i keep doing my best.
Please try to get passed ur baby fever. Talk to ur parents if u need to about it, or someone u trust. Get a puppy, get ur baby fix from baby sitting or volunteering at the hospital. If all else fails look into a birth control like the mirena, and IUD of some sort. that way if the temptation is to great it wont matter b/c the IUD is in place and to get it out u have to call ur dr and set it up, which should give u enough time to reevaluate yourself

I was actually only reading the stuff but your post made me feel like I have to write. So this is my first post  

I am in a similar situation like yours   I sometimes think how it would be to have a baby, look around in the web about parenting and so (this is how I found this forum), check the adorable baby stuff they have everywhere, I think about names, plan what things we could do together and so... We even sometimes talk about babies with my bf.

On the other hand, we both know that we have a lot more to do before thinking about it in a serious way and that it's just a baby fever. I am a bit older than you, 20. I already have my HS degree, got a gap year working as a bio research assistant, and starting with uni this fall. I even have scholarship, so would have no major financial problems.

But these are not enough. You have to think in a different frame. Like, would you be able to give the child a stable home environment? Who would take care of the child when you have exams/finals/etc.? Would you really give all your attention to the child (because it needs and deserves this)? Would you be able to support your child the best you can, mentally and financially, not just the minimum?... These are important...

So: you have to have YOUR OWN life built up first + you have to be on your own two feet, financially + you will have to be mentally strong enough to care for two + do it with someone you love and you will be together, and someone who is also ready

I hope I expressed myself correctly.

In the meantime, you can take a pet to see how it feels to take the responsibility of someone besides you. You can try a snail; it's easy to find, not so expensive, not messy, causes no allergies, internet has instructions and forums about it; but you will be very suprised how dedicated you have to be to raise it  

ps. You can contact me anytime you want =3