why does it have to be hard???

My daughter's father refusing to come up with any sort of custody agreement for our daughter. I think he thinks I'm going to get back with him, but after 3 years I'm done. I've been back and forth because of how he treats me, and he NEVER spent time with me or our daughter. We would maybe see him at dinner when he got off the computer.
Anyway, I moved back in with my parents. They have a big house, lots of space, but it's in PA and he lives in IL. Any mamas dealing with issues in different states? What are my options to get some sort of custody agreement? We had already decided when we broke up before we would do visits until she is around 6-7. After that, she would go to his house for a month and half in the summer. I just think 2 is way too young to do that now. TIA

All I can say is, if he's being difficult, go to court and let a Judge decide. When parents fight over who gets the child when, they rarely come to a compromise on their own.

I don't know how it happens between states, but why don't you ask for a court mandated mediation agreement. Then the two of you could get together with a mediator, work something out, and stick to it.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" All I can say is, if he's being difficult, go to court and let a Judge decide. When parents fight over who gets the child when, they rarely come to a compromise on their own."

Yea..I just wish it could be the easy route for ONCE

Quoting Mombom:" I don't know how it happens between states, but why don't you ask for a court mandated mediation agreement. Then the two of you could get together with a mediator, work something out, and stick to it."

That could work, thanks

I will be in that situation. My baby's father lives back in GA and I moved back to IN to be with my family because he is refusing to step-up and take responsibility. The best thing to do is take him to court. And get it in writing. That is what everyone keeps telling me to do.

I am going through this also, except BD moved away. I have met with a lawyer and a mediator/family therapist to discuss what is best for our daughter who is 3.5 yrs old. A lot depends on how long it has been since he has seen her and how involved he was prior to moving. Both the lawyer and the mediator recommended that the child stay in one place and the parents come to the child. So, BD would come to you to see your daughter, vs. sending your daughter to him. I agree when they get a little older that out of state visits would be more plausible.
At this point BD won't work with me to get a schedule set, so we are going to end up in court.

Quoting LOVE HER:" I am going through this also, except BD moved away. I have met with a lawyer and a mediator/family therapist ... [snip!] ... visits would be more plausible. At this point BD won't work with me to get a schedule set, so we are going to end up in court."

Isn't it frustrating? I mean, we should be thinking what's best for HER, but all he wants to do it frustrate me