re: Honesty with past drug use

Quoting mrs.heimpel:“ haha--i think i read a post before when you talked about waking up in poo after smoking pot-- my ... [snip!] ... for me...to this day i have only ever done pot once in my life and besides that i smokes cigg and drank (PRE preggo of course)”

Yeah, not my shining moment.  

My mom wasn't honest with me about her past until VERY recently...she tried to hide things from me (her smoking pot, losing her virginity at 15, sleeping around a lot after that, cheating on my dad with my uncle, etc.), and while I still love her and feel I can tell her anything, it kind of hurt that she wasn't honest with me. I remember when she gave me the "sex talk," and she lied to me and told me my dad was her first, and that they waited until they were married. She told me later that they had sex when they were engaged, but that was it, and then the truth FINALLY came out that she had lost her virginity at 15...and that truth only came out after I got pregnant. At 25.

I don't want to lie to my daughter. Ever. But I also don't plan to tell her my past until she asks.

Quoting ♥K&J♥:“ Quoting I'mamama Ultimately, I want my daughter to know that if she does decide to drink, smoke pot, ... [snip!] ... I knew no matter how messed up a situation I was in I could always call them! I really hope to have that same bond with my son!”

That is ideal. I want my son to always know he can trust me. Trust me to be there when he makes his own mistakes.
I don't want a sneaky kid!

Quoting Jjnicole330:“ That is ideal. I want my son to always know he can trust me. Trust me to be there when he makes his own mistakes. I don't want a sneaky kid!”

Definitely all my friends are constantly lieing to their parents about everything, I feel so lucky to have the relationship I have with mine because I think it is very rare.

My parents were both honest with me about their drug experimentation. They were always open and honest with me about everything, and we actually communicated (as best as parents and teenagers can, heh).

I'm an avid pot smoker (shocking, I know!) but I didn't even try it the first time until I was 19.

I just didn't have that same giddy thrill of rebellion that a lot of kids have, because things just weren't forbidden in my house, they were talked about openly and honestly.

I don't know that that kind of rearing would work with all children, of course, but I think it worked well with me and that's how I intend to raise my children.

C.

I plan on talking to my kids about drugs
but I don't really want to bring up the fact of me smoking weed in the past (just on an experiment basis pretty much)
If they ask me, which I'm sure it will come up I will definitely be honest with them. I just worry about the day when I hear them say "well, you've done it and you are ok..why can't I" or something like that.

Quoting God:“ My parents were both honest with me about their drug experimentation. They were always open and honest ... [snip!] ... would work with all children, of course, but I think it worked well with me and that's how I intend to raise my children. C.”

I'd like to adopt the same concept. It doesn't work with all children and that is a shame.
I can only hope it works with mine.

Quoting God:“ My parents were both honest with me about their drug experimentation. They were always open and honest ... [snip!] ... would work with all children, of course, but I think it worked well with me and that's how I intend to raise my children. C.”

Seriously every kid I know who had really stict parents rebelled the worst. Meth using, staying downtown all night kind of people haha. It's good to be leniat (sp?) and open but remember to still be a parent.

Quoting *Tabitha Lynn*:“ I plan on talking to my kids about drugs but I don't really want to bring up the fact of me smoking ... [snip!] ... I just worry about the day when I hear them say "well, you've done it and you are ok..why can't I" or something like that.”

Honestly, while that might be an issue, I also think that telling your children you don't think they should use marijuana will have more weight if they know you used it yourself.

They can't say "bah, she doesn't know what she's talking about!" because you can say "yes, I DO. I did it myself, and this is exactly why I know firsthand why you should not do it" etc.

C.

Quoting God:“ My parents were both honest with me about their drug experimentation. They were always open and honest ... [snip!] ... would work with all children, of course, but I think it worked well with me and that's how I intend to raise my children. C.”

That is kind of how my parents were about drinking. My mom told me from the age of 16 on that if I was going to do it, to do it in front of her safe at home. so I never really got in to drinking all that much because it wasn't something that I was "forbidden" to do.

They never talked with me about drugs though, not that I can remember. Luckily in my small town, the only cool thing to do around here was weed..so I never did anything more than that.

Quoting God:“ Honestly, while that might be an issue, I also think that telling your children you don't think they ... [snip!] ... because you can say "yes, I DO. I did it myself, and this is exactly why I know firsthand why you should not do it" etc. C.”

Makes sense!! I will have to keep that in mind when it does come up.

This is a tough thing to decide. On one hand, I want my child/children to know the mistakes that I have made and learn the consequences of their actions. I want to convey to them how certain drugs really almost ruined my life and that if they value themselves or their future they will not make the same choices thatI made.
On the other hand, I really don't know how detailed I want to get with my daughter about my "raver days", ecstasy and pychedelic experiences, or my two year long fixation with ice that nearly destyoyed my soul and robbed me of my life. I am not opposed to telling her about smoking weed or drinking and maybe TRYING other drugs, but I really don't want her to know that her mommy was an addict. But then I don't get the point across do I? I really don't want her to throw in my face, "Well you did it and learned, now let me make my own descions".
This really is a tough issue .

I don't think you having done drugs in the past will have too much of an effect on them doing drugs. If they are curious about it they will probably try it on their own no matter what you say.

So, I plan on being the one to come to my child and tell her about drugs when she is old enough. Freshmen year of high school probably... Of course, I expect that she will know all about them by then but I'd rather be the one to inform her about it rather than her friends who will probably not have the same views on drugs that I'd want her to have.

I did them in the past, and I've learned from them. I want to educate her on them first before she goes out and tries them on her own. Hopefully to convince her not to do them. I know however that we all experiment so I want to inform her enough so that she doesn't make deadly decisions.

I also want to have good communication with my daughter so that she will know that she can come to me with ANY questions or for advice and she won't be afraid to.