Quoting BG Secrets:" he says cleaning is my job because im the housewife, and he doesnt have to help because hes the one ... [snip!] ... its my job to clean up after everyone else because they are his family and cleaning the house is my job because they all work. "

Ehhh... touche

Quoting ♥T-D-A♥:" Sounds like a very unhealthy situation and you need to get out... for your own sanity! I wouldn't be ... [snip!] ... you could take your kids and stay for awhile? A family member? Just to clear your head and take a breather from that mess?"

and yes its a trailer, there isnt anyone else i can stay with- my mom has my sister and her kid living there, and i dont want to give him an ultimatum, because its not that he doesnt want us to get a house, just that we cant, because we both dont have credit, and everyone wants like 5-10 thousand down.

Quoting Max.imus:" Ehhh... touche"

i knew when i got married and had kids i would have to take care of and clean up after my husband and kids, i didnt agree to take care of other people and their kids too. If they want someone to clean up after them, they need to find their own wives

I'm sorry but you can make any excuse you want that place is sick. I would not risk my kids health living there. You need to get a better job and the smurf out.

Quoting ILOVEWINE:" I'm sorry but you can make any excuse you want that place is sick. I would not risk my kids health living there. You need to get a better job and the smurf out."

i cant get a job, because we only have one vehicle and no one to take care of the kids.

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" i cant get a job, because we only have one vehicle and no one to take care of the kids. "</blockquote>




Work a different shift than your husband or have him get a better job. That place is seriously sick.

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" i cant get a job, because we only have one vehicle and no one to take care of the kids. "</blockquote>


Seriously it's time to stop making excuses.

You can get rides off people, carpool at work, get state child care help, and get the hell out if there.


If you're going to complain about the mess and situation but not do anything about it then what's the point.

I know what it's like to have to clean up after a grown adult who won't do it for themself but if it truley irks you so bad you have to suck it up and clean.

Quoting BG Secrets:" i knew when i got married and had kids i would have to take care of and clean up after my husband and ... [snip!] ... to take care of other people and their kids too. If they want someone to clean up after them, they need to find their own wives"

Then they can kick you to the curb? You live in their home. Yes they are grown men, and yes they should pick up after themselves... but you know what? Life isn't fair, especially when you live under someone else's roof.

Quoting Max.imus:" Then they can kick you to the curb? You live in their home. Yes they are grown men, and yes they should ... [snip!] ... they should pick up after themselves... but you know what? Life isn't fair, especially when you live under someone else's roof."

its only one of thems house, and i dont mind cleaning up after him so much, but the other guy and his kid? not my problem or responsibility, and he cant kick me out so screw it.

Quoting BG Secrets:" its only one of thems house, and i dont mind cleaning up after him so much, but the other guy and his kid? not my problem or responsibility, and he cant kick me out so screw it. "

You sound like a kid. Your house is dirty, and you know it. You posted this expecting people to tell you it's okay. Instead we all give you constructive criticism and offer suggestions on how to change things. 20 pages later you're still whining it's not your house. Just stfu and go clean already.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Max.imus:</b>" You sound like a kid. Your house is dirty, and you know it. You posted this expecting people to tell ... [snip!] ... suggestions on how to change things. 20 pages later you're still whining it's not your house. Just stfu and go clean already."</blockquote>



!!!

This.

OP I would seriously stop complaining and whining and making excuses. Just take one day at a time. Do laundry (that isn't just washing, you have to old and put them away). And if there is too much. Then sort through all of it and throw what ever you don't wear often away. Then once that's done. Go and sort through all the trash. Once that's done. Go and clean the kitchen. Then the living room. Then the bedrooms. Once that's all done. Then you can vacuum and mop. And then tidy up daily.

I know it's overwhelming. An there is so much smurf to get clean and put away. But once you get it ALL clean then all it takes is 10 minutes a day to get it all clean again. That's it. Even with three grown men and three small children, yes only 10 minutes to walk through every room with a basket in hand picking up clothes, run them through the wash. Then ER started on the lithe . And then tidy as you go. That's it.

But if you don't get it all sorted. It will only get worse and worse and eventually ... You could get in trouble and lose all those kids. It does happen and by the looks of things hun, you are not that far away from it getting much worse. Just something to think about.

Quoting BG Secrets:" heres my response to all the comments made in the last day: I do live with my husbands cousin- IT is ... [snip!] ... once again NOT MY HOUSE! i go through my and my childrens clothes and stuff regularly, and it is in a storage building. "

I wouldn't live in a house like that if it wasn't mine without making major changes (with approval, of course). You should have seen my FIL's home when I moved in there 8 years ago. You'd think now I'd given the thing a complete makeover, organizing his things, getting rid of things he didn't need (with permission), etc. After his death 6 years ago I did a complete overhaul and even places I thought were realitively OK before I really checked I found filth. Oh it was gross. If he hadn't have let me work my magic I'd have left, and it wasn't even half as bad as what you showed here. I can't live like that and I certainly wouldn't allow my children to think that is acceptable.

Quoting BG Secrets:" he says cleaning is my job because im the housewife, and he doesnt have to help because hes the one ... [snip!] ... its my job to clean up after everyone else because they are his family and cleaning the house is my job because they all work. "

Tell him the man the hell up then and find the money to live on your own. Or, one day, arm yourself with a trashbag and just start throwing smurf out, don't ask permission just do it. Then tell them you were just doing your job as a housewife  

Quoting Max.imus:" You sound like a kid. Your house is dirty, and you know it. You posted this expecting people to tell ... [snip!] ... suggestions on how to change things. 20 pages later you're still whining it's not your house. Just stfu and go clean already."

God damn, seriously. I'm sure they won't even notice when stuff starts coming up "missing" because you've started the decluttering process. You can always store stuff in bags that aren't yours for them to go through later. I can almost gaurantee that they won't go through them, either.

Quoting Fatty McRunnerPants:" Tell him the man the hell up then and find the money to live on your own. Or, one day, arm yourself ... [snip!] ... start throwing smurf out, don't ask permission just do it. Then tell them you were just doing your job as a housewife  "

THIS!

I think my husband is a borderline hoarder. Some of the smurf he keeps... ugh. It doesn't help that my FIL uses us as a trash can   "Oh, you guys bought a blu ray player? Well, I want one too. You can have my DVD player and my VCR." What the smurf, we don't need that smurf! When my husband is at work, I just go through things he hasn't used in forever. For every new shirt he buys, I throw out/donate three... he doesn't wear half that smurf in the closet.

OP, I have let my home get bad. There have been times where laundry piled up that way. How long have they been sitting there clean? If that were me, I'd just start all over and put them away as you go. I smurfing hate laundry, but just get it over with quick.