leveing DH

After my abortion i feel like i dont want to be with my DH all i keep thinking its because of him i done this and killed my baby because i have no fcuking back bone to tell him NO!!!...
And now he cries about it and tells me things i was trying to tell him long ago before i had the abortion but he just use to get pissed and not listen.... About us regretting and who our child could of been and where would we be with out our other kids.
What should i do? Has anyone been in the same boat?

If you're unhappy, you have two choices:
A.) Work it out with him if you think the relationship can be salvageable.
B.) Leave him and create a life of happiness for yourself.

I wish you the best of luck.

So you think its a good idea to leave the man you married because he regrets you having an abortion? That is a normal feeling for women to have yet your husband isn't allowed to feel that?

You both sound like you are in need of a counselor. I would go to single counseling each of you for the feelings you are having after the abortion and then couples counseling together to see if maybe with help you guys can move past your hurt and anger towards each other. Best of luck to you both!

I'd try counseling first. After a traumatic decision like that I wouldn't jump straight to divorce.

Quoting Tater and Boogers mommy:" I'd try counseling first. After a traumatic decision like that I wouldn't jump straight to divorce."

I also agree with this.

If you have any hopes for your marriage, try counseling. It can make a huge difference if you're both willing to try it.

I never said he couldn't feel hurt but he made me chose between him or this baby he was ready to walk out on the 3 kids we have already 2

Honestly he didn't force you to get your abortion. He probably thought It was the best thing for your family at the time and now he's having regrets. He's a secondary abortion survivor in this in my opinion. It was his baby that was aborted as well and he is having a pretty typical reaction to it. I think you both need to look into some grief counciling to get past this. It doesnt have to be he end of your marriage and it isn't all his fault you had an abortion. He didn't tie you up and carry you to the doctors office, at some point you gave in agreed. That's on you.

You really need to stop blaming each other, first. It was a mutual decision, make no mistake. You're both adults.

You both need counseling. I don't think separating at this point will help much. It will hurt and confuse everyone even more and leave everyone to deal with this tremendous situation all alone.

Honestly, this sounds like the normal grieving process after an abortion. I think you both need to embrace each other during this time and not view it as a regret or something to blame or get angry at each other about. At the time, you both made the decision. There is no point playing the blame game and mistaking his tears for him being wrong. Wondering what could have been does not mean it would have worked out (to go forward with the pregnancy).

Take a step back and look at this as something you both have to help each other get through.

Best of luck.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I never said he couldn't feel hurt but he made me chose between him or this baby he was ready to walk out on the 3 kids we have already 2 "

Okay I get that but this is a serious situation. He may have said all of those things and not meant them. Like someone else suggested, try counseling. He didn't force you to do anything, you chose to abort. Do not put this on him. You two should work this out.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I never said he couldn't feel hurt but he made me chose between him or this baby he was ready to walk out on the 3 kids we have already 2 "

That might have been the only way for him to get through to you that it would just not work out for your existing family to have one more child. That doesn't mean he isn't allowed to feel saddened by the decision. Sometimes we have to make tough choices in life.

Quoting MommaSav2:" Honestly he didn't force you to get your abortion. He probably thought It was the best thing for your ... [snip!] ... you had an abortion. He didn't tie you up and carry you to the doctors office, at some point you gave in agreed. That's on you."

I know that, Thats why i said i have no back bone im pathetic

Quoting BG Secrets:" I know that, Thats why i said i have no back bone im pathetic "

Honestly, right here right now tell me it wasn't a good decision to abort.
Taking your other 2 kids into consideration
Your financial situation
Your living situation
.........................
Take feelings out of this and be real with me.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I know that, Thats why i said i have no back bone im pathetic "

You really need to stop blaming yourself. Its just going to make things harder. When one person wants an abortion and the other doesn't, things can get tricky.

If DH and I were to get pregnant right now, we would be in that situation. He wouldn't want me to abort, I would want to. I don't know how we would handle it but one thing is for sure...it wouldn't be easy.