Anyone that knows about abortion.

******* PLEASE PLEASSSSSE PLEEEEEEASE DO NOT QUOTE THIS!!!!!

(Okay so if you go back to my previous topics, you can read a little more about why I'm posting this!!)

Long story short:
My best friend got herself into a bad situation. She is in a long term relationship, and currently (and has bren for the past 3 years) is living with her boyfriend. Well on the 5th of Febuary she "fooled around" with an EX of hers. She swears that she only let him "finger and preform oral sex on HER." Well she had her period on Febuary 16th as expected. Well she claims that is the ONLY time they touched each other, and they actually stopped communication a few days after their "encounter". MEANWHILE; the WHOLE time her and her boyfriend are having UNPROTECTED sex VERY regularly!!!!!
Well come March 15th, no period. March 16th no period. March 17th positive HPT. March 18th another DARKER HPT.
She hasn't been to a doctor, or had an ultra sound. According to ER LMP she is 9 weeks and 3 days.

Well since day one she has been considering abortion... Because she doesn't want to have the baby, and by some .000000001 chance it be her EX boyfriends. He is expecting a baby in July already.... By someone else of course. She keeps swearing to me that they never had intercourse, and their genitals never touched. She said while they fooled around he was clothed. She also said that when they were making out, he was rubing his penis against her vagina... BOTH CLOTHED.
Well her EX is white, and she is white... And her boyfriend is a darker skinned Hispanic guy. So it will be apparent if it isn't her boyfriends.

He fully supports her, theyve been together years, they live together, own things together, are buying things together... and she claims to LOVE him.... SO instead of telling her boyfriend there is even a slight chance that the baby isn't his, she would rather have an abortion.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY need outside opinions and ways to talk to her about this. I'm pro life, and I don't believe in shoving my opinions and beliefs down someone's throat. Plus, it's not my life, or my concern... I guess what I mean is, ID never have an abortion. But don't really care if anyone else does... But I just don't know if just because there's a sliver of a chance your boyfriend may not be the babys father is a reason to abort?

Also, I've asked this before, and have gotten a iffy answer.
Is there even a chance the EX is the baby's dad? She had a period 11 days after their encounter. (I know this sounds dumb, I'm just trying to help her... She's so confused....) and would the doctors be able to tell by the ultra sound if the baby is at a further gestational age then her LMP edd? And would a basically 10 week ultra sound still be considered "early!?" and how accurate are ultra sounds at this point? Would it be off nearly a month??

Lastly:
How much will plan parent hood charge her? What different ways to abort do they offer? And how late will they preform an abortion? She heard about an assistance program they offer there? Something like they only make you pay a portion if you qualify? Is there such thing?


Thank you all SO MUCH!!!
(sorry if any things misspelt, or my punctuation is incorrect, I'm on my iPhone at her house)

if it didnt go in shes not pregnant by him.
but abortions caan cost up to 200 +

Do not try to talk someone out of an abortion if they want one. She knows what's best for herself and her situation, not you.

IMO...there is more than a "sliver of a chance" that the baby isn't her boyfriend's for her to be considering abortion. She obviously did more than what she is telling you she did with her ex and she is very worried that when the baby is born it will be very apparent that it's not her boyfriend's child.

No advice on the rest of what you asked, but that is my take on the situation.

there is no way to get pregnant without having sex
there is paranoia, but i think this is something else. i think your friend is lying to you, and did have sex with her ex.
that's why she's freaking out.

I don't get people, it's okay to talk people into have an abortion, but it's not okay to try and convince one not to have an abortion? Before aborting, have her look into different options, and do research before hand. I've read tons of abortion regrets, and it's really quite sad.

First of all - if she is AT ALL worried that its the other guys....then they had sex and shes a big old liar, and Id tell her that to her face. C'mon? Why would you be worried if there was no penetration? Thats makes absolutely NO SENSE.

Second, from someone who had an abortion, if she lives with her man...unless he goes out of town for 2 days, there is NO WAY he wont know about it unless she lies her face off and he is completely stupid, therefore digging herself further and further into a whole.

Id say, be honest, tell her boyfriend what happened NOW, before this gets any worse.

I don't really know much about them, and neither does she. She hasn't ever been in this situation before. And neither have I. I became pregnant in HS and birthed and raise my son, he's 2.5 years old now  

Not to be personal, and you don't har to answer.
But do you know anything further about them? I'm close to San Antonio actually, and that's where they referred her to go today when she called around asking where to go. They gave her several locations in SA.

Quoting sandra janine.:" I don't get people, it's okay to talk people into have an abortion, but it's not okay to try and convince ... [snip!] ... her look into different options, and do research before hand. I've read tons of abortion regrets, and it's really quite sad."

Because this forum is to support the abortion decision.

<blockquote><b>Quoting regina_margot:</b>" there is no way to get pregnant without having sex there is paranoia, but i think this is something else. ... [snip!] ... think this is something else. i think your friend is lying to you, and did have sex with her ex. that's why she's freaking out."</blockquote>




Agreed!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Keℓℓy.:</b>" Do not try to talk someone out of an abortion if they want one. She knows what's best for herself and her situation, not you."</blockquote>



No, no, no!! I didn't mean for it to come off that way, I support her either way. She is my BEST friend... We've been threw a lot worse together. Like I said, I don't shove my opinion or beliefs of anyone. We just want to get some information before she goes threw with either birthing or aborting the baby. She doesn't want to regret it... Especially if it's the boyfriends... She would never abort it.

It sounds like she did have sex with her ex and isn't willing to admit it. I don't know how much it'll cost, but I do know that the longer she waits the more expensive it'll be. I think she's just getting out of the stages for the pill, now she will have to have a surgical abortion (costing more). Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, though.

national average cost of an abortion is $450.

whatever information you're looking for is going to be specific to your location, just call planned parenthood and they will answer every single one of your questions.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Spidermans♥Mommy:</b>" IMO...there is more than a "sliver of a chance" that the baby isn't her boyfriend's for her to be considering ... [snip!] ... apparent that it's not her boyfriend's child. No advice on the rest of what you asked, but that is my take on the situation."</blockquote>

Believe me, I've thougt this many times.
But I just keep my mouth shut... She keeps swearing. And OH YEA there will be MOST DEFIANTLY apparent if it isn't her boyfriends child. The baby will be white, completely white. He is of Hispanic origin. He is darker toned then my husband, also Hispanic, and our son is OBVIOUSLY Hispanic looking.

Her excuse for thinking its her EX's?
Because sperm could have gotten on his pans and some how gotten on her? She said she watched some TV SHOW (!!!!??? /:<) and a girl was saying how that happened to her???? A TV SHOW!!!!! Omg..

But she's my best friend, and I love her to death, and only want to help, and support her. I'd want her to do the same if it were in reverse... KWIM!?

I cant tell give you much advice on the situation other then I agree on what everyone has already posted.
But I can tell you about abortion. Planned parenthoods funding has been cut and they no longer (atleast in my state) offer abortions. Abortions are offered up to 12 weeks and can cost as much as $600 depending on how far allong she is and the facility sho goes to. An ultrasound this early will be really acurate on how far along she is and I reccomend that she finds out for far along she is and really weighs her options before making a choice as big as abortion. Most towns have a free clinic for women to find all the info out that they need but I will warn you, most are run by extreme Pro-Life advocates so if she were to go to one she would need to keep it extremely hush hush that she was considering abortion.
Best of luck to your friend and your a good person for trying to help her out.