Finally dealing... I guess...

Ok, so I had an abortion almost 3 months ago. I never second-guessed my decision. I still dont. I KNOW it was the right thing to do BUT theres not a day that goes by that I do not think about it. Hell, i even carry the u/s picture in my wallet. The guy that I was pregnant by is not the father of my 3 children and we were not in a relationship at all. The guy (we'll call him Frank) and I went to school together... elementary through high school. We talked off and on the whole time. So i obviously had SOME kind of feelings for him. The day before I found out I was pregnant, "frank" told me that he and his on-again-off-again girlfriend had gotten back together (theyre not together now). After the abortion, I talked to him once or twice... Nothing major... I hadn't even seen him since the morning of the procedure. Well, lastnight, I went out to a club and saw him there. We spoke and went our seperate ways. But from the time that i saw him, I was hit with a ton of emotions. The only way i can describe it is that I felt like i just needed to hug him... I dont know... Its weird... I texted him earlier and told him how I felt and I felt better afterwards, but I just dont know if these are legitimate feelings... I KNOW I wanted the abortion, I just never thought that i would feel like I have some kind of connection "Frank" because of it. I'll never look at him the same again. I just dont know how to deal with these emotions and I dont want them to hit me every time i see him. OR should I make a point to try to see him to try to help deal with them?

I think your feelings make sense. I had an abortion when I was younger, but it was much different than your situation (rape). I never really felt anything about it until I had to face that smurf in court. It brought up all kinds of emotions I didn't expect.

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that   yea, if I wasn't already a single mother of 3,I would have kept it... The timing was allll wrong though. I don't know if talking with him about it will make the situation better or worse though...

Quoting Aℓℓison♥:" Aw, I'm sorry to hear that   yea, if I wasn't already a single mother of 3,I would have kept it... The ... [snip!] ... The timing was allll wrong though. I don't know if talking with him about it will make the situation better or worse though..."

It seems like being around him is making it worse for you...

I had an abortion when I was 15. I was never allowed to tell the babies father what had happened because my mom forced me into the decision and cut me off from the world for a few months. By that time I didnt want to bother him with what happened and didnt even know how to contact him. But for years I thought about it every day and every night. I resented my mom and him for the situation. 4 years later my ex, the babies father moved back to town, we ended up running into eachother and agreed to get together to catch up. I took the opportunity and I told him everything. I held nothing back. I expected him to yell or walk out on me but instead he held me and told me that he wished he was told at the time and allowed to help me through it all, infact he cried a little. I dont think I would ever have gotten over it if I didnt tell him.
If you havent talked ot him about it you should. I promise you that you will feel better after. Talking to friends is great but there is something about talking to the father about it that seems to help the healing processes, atleast in my case.

You are a strong woman. Keep your head up. It takes time and its not an easy road. But it does get better.