re: So Conflicted

OP u stated you didnt want a ''new'' baby to take away from the kids u already have. ...From a logical point of view each child every woman has ''takes away'' financially from the 1st born. None of my children would trade one of their siblings for having more ''things''. The future is always a bunch of what ifs......it sounds like right now that the thought terminating is really upsetting you , i agree that talking w/a professional is a good idea. They can help you sort out your fears and ambitions for the future and help you decide which are logical/rational and which may be attributed to hormones and anxiety of pregnancy.

If you have any doubts they will be amplified after the whole thig is over and done.

I posted this somewhere else but thought you should hear my experience;

I had it done when I was 3 weeks pregnant. I was in a horrible situation that I put myself in. I had it done within the past month. So I am really hopeing I come to terms with it. But it is REALY taking it's toll on me. I had a dream I gave birth and sliced open my own child's throat.

I hadn't really been thinking about it too much since it happened until I had that dream. Now all I can think about is my childs blood on my hands, I cry every day. I look at my daughter thinking of how I could have given her a silbling and think about when I became pregnant at 18 I didn't abort her, knowing she had a 50% chance of having a genetic disorder. I kept her, currently I am really regretting what I have done because I know I could have given that child a decent life.

I rushed through the proccess. And didn't take any drugs so I was awear of EVERYTHING. And because I was so early there was a higher change of the doctor not getting all of the 'tissue.' So after the doctor preformed the abortion she went to see 'if she got everything' and she came back smiling and saying is a loud cheery voice that I will never forget, "We got it all!" I remember thinking I just killed my own baby I am not really excited you 'got it all'...

For your own good you really need to think long and hard before you decied either way because they are both life changing desitions! I wish you the best of luck and no matter what you chose you are doing it for the right reasons.

Quoting Had my 10/10/10 baby!:" If you have any doubts they will be amplified after the whole thig is over and done. I posted this somewhere ... [snip!] ... both life changing desitions! I wish you the best of luck and no matter what you chose you are doing it for the right reasons."

Sorry to hear you are dealing with this emotional turmoil, but thank you for sharing your story so that others may be educated on the mental trauma that may(or may not) occur after terminating a pregnancy. My younger sister turned to drugs and almost took her own life because of the grief she was dealing w/over her decision (she had frequent nightmares and panic attacks). It took lots of counseling and rehab for her to get back to a ''functional'' level . And breaks my heart to think of other women going through the same emotional trauma   I know not all women suffer greatly or even give an extra thought 2 their decision to terminate but some do and those women need more support than to hear they did the right thing for their family at the time......(thats the exact statement my sister said pushed her over the edge and replayed in all her nightmare)

<blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" did you try applying for food stamps? do you pay rent to your parents?"</blockquote>




Unfortunately I have tried applying for food stamps but was told I make too much money. I do pay rent to my parents as well. Thanks for taking the time to listen, I still have no idea what decision to make.

Quoting SOCONFUSED:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" did you try applying for food ... [snip!] ... money. I do pay rent to my parents as well. Thanks for taking the time to listen, I still have no idea what decision to make."

If you decide to go through w/the pregnancy , it will change the income guidelines for your family and u may qualify for assistance then. there should be a website for socail services in your area that will give u an idea if u will qualify if another family member is added to the household. If your parents say u pay more rent it may help also.

<blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" OP u stated you didnt want a ''new'' baby to take away from the kids u already have. ...From a logical ... [snip!] ... for the future and help you decide which are logical/rational and which may be attributed to hormones and anxiety of pregnancy."</blockquote>



I would just like to clarify I don't mean taking away from them as in material " things". That is not my concern, so sorry if my post came off that way. Right now we live at my parents all in one bedroom. I don't think it's fair to them to have another baby in there with us, waking them up at night when they have school, taking more space. If we had our own place to live I never would even be considering this, I can barely stand the thought of it now, but I know if I keep this baby we will be kicked out with Nowhere to go. I can't stand the thought of my kids being homeless.

<blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" If you decide to go through w/the pregnancy , it will change the income guidelines for your family and ... [snip!] ... if u will qualify if another family member is added to the household. If your parents say u pay more rent it may help also."</blockquote>




Thank you for the information  

Quoting SOCONFUSED:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" OP u stated you didnt want a ''new'' ... [snip!] ... but I know if I keep this baby we will be kicked out with Nowhere to go. I can't stand the thought of my kids being homeless."

That alone would be reason enough for me to terminate. It sounds like you know what's best. I really do understand why you're conflicted though. I've been there. Me, my husband, and my son all live in the same room in my mom's house too. I couldn't imagine squeezing another child in here.

Quoting SOCONFUSED:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" OP u stated you didnt want a ''new'' ... [snip!] ... but I know if I keep this baby we will be kicked out with Nowhere to go. I can't stand the thought of my kids being homeless."

That is a rough situation.....I couldnt imagine not having anyone to turn to for support. I am assuming that your SO's parents arent in the position to help ? Your family will be in my prayers. Hopefully your SO will be able to find a job soon.