pregnant and so confused.

I'm pregnant for the second time, this was completely unplanned and the second I found out I was all for having an abortion....3 days later, after letting it sink in..I don't think I can go through with it. I keep trying to explain to my husband that I've become attached to this baby already and I don't know if I can still do it. He would love to keep the baby but we have a 2 year old to take care of and if we had another child we'd be putting ourselves back in the same hole we're almost out of...I just don't know what to do..I feel like I'm being forced by myself to do this. I'm scared I'll regret it and hate myself...I just need to talk to someone since I've decided not to tell anyone I know IRL because I don't want people to know how I've messed up...I feel so torn, please tell me there is someone out there who knows what I'm going through and that what I'm feeling isn't wrong..I just need someone...

post&run.

I had a rough time with one of my pregnancies. I knew I was going to keep LO. But, a second kid really isn't that more expensive. Especially if you have the same sex and can use hand me downs. Also thrift shopping. There is always a way.

It is going to be hard. But not impossible. Most things we go thru we usually look back and say i got thru that and things are ok. If u aren't 100% sure dont do it. I think u will be ok.

Aww hun you have to do what's best for your family good luck

This is such a hard situation. So sorry you are going through it. All i can say is it should be a decision you make without second thoughts. Good luck mama!

If you want to keep LO remember where there's a will there's a way. You will find a way, that's how love is. When you get stuck there's going to be someone to offer you a hand. It's okay  

There is always adoption  

Quoting Angie Mother of Boys:" I had a rough time with one of my pregnancies. I knew I was going to keep LO. But, a second kid really ... [snip!] ... more expensive. Especially if you have the same sex and can use hand me downs. Also thrift shopping. There is always a way."

I keep trying to tell him that..if we tried hard enough there is always a way...we could make it work but he's also the same man who pretty much had no emotional attachment to our son until the second he was born..I wish he could feel the way I do, I told him before we go through with this that I want him to put himself in my shoes...to feel what he felt the moment he saw our son and then imagine having someone tell him "no, you can't have him"...I understand where he's coming from logically I understand that this is whats best for us but the mother in me just can't imagine doing this...and I'm going to go in to see how far along I am, I don't think I could handle knowing what I plan on doing to this baby and seeing it moving around in there...I think I'll lose it.

Quoting Anastasia Fraley:" There is always adoption  "

Little hard to consider, I would imagine, since she's already grown attached to the baby.

What you're feeling isn't wrong at all! That would be an extremely difficult decision to make. Are you early into the pregnancy? If so, take some time to think about things. Talk it over with your husband, I mean really discuss it. Maybe you guys can sit down and figure out ways to make it work financially. You may surprise yourselves. Or, maybe after weighing the pros and cons and really taking pause to consider things you will feel a little more at peace with your decision to have an abortion.

I'm not saying it's wrong, but I personally would find it difficult to decide to have an abortion because of finances. I can really understand where you're coming from, and I think I'd feel the same way.

Quoting kr.r:" Little hard to consider, I would imagine, since she's already grown attached to the baby."

exactly....if we had the baby I know DH would automatically be attached and all worries would be gone...but it's whats happening now thats the issue.

Adoption is going to be hard in any matter, for anyone. I know that.
I didnt want my friends giving their babys up for adoption, but if they cant afford the baby then what? I doubt abortion is something she'd do. But i was just sayin.

with all the assistance available to low income families there is no reason you should feel ''trapped'' into terminating your pregnancy if you think you will regret it. I am not just talking about government assistance, i am talking bout organizations that help out because they really care and dont want women to feel they have no choice. As someone else mentioned, going from 1 to 2 children isnt really that much more expensive (atleast not untill they are much older and want game systems and $100 shoes) I hope you can come to a decision that you are at peace with.....i am sure knowing the joy of parenthood already makes this an extra tough decision for you and SO. Your family will be in my prayers.

Quoting Zbornak:" What you're feeling isn't wrong at all! That would be an extremely difficult decision to make. Are you ... [snip!] ... to have an abortion because of finances. I can really understand where you're coming from, and I think I'd feel the same way. "

I feel so ashamed. I never wanted it to be like this..I wanted our second baby to be something that brought joy since we had our son so young...I'm only 22 for god sake..

everytime I tell him I have doubts or that I really want to keep the baby he just looks for frustrated, I know he's trying hard to be the logical one, I've caught him crying a few times in the last couple of days, this is not something either of us want...I just feel like I need to defend this baby..my baby..this is my baby and I'm ashamed of admitting it to the point where I have to go on a secret account to feel comfortable enough to talk about...the small part of me that wants to have this abortion is seriously fading..


I woke up this morning thinking "I'm going to keep it whether he wants it or not" I was happy at the idea...but reality sets in and I realize, I'll have absolutely no support from anyone...no one will think this is a good idea and I'll be fighting all the time with everyone(friends, family, possibly DH) because no one will think its a good idea...I can't even go to my own mother because I feel like a foolish teenager who has just found out she was pregnant..I know she'll put me down for it..

Quoting 5 blessings so far....:" with all the assistance available to low income families there is no reason you should feel ''trapped'' ... [snip!] ... knowing the joy of parenthood already makes this an extra tough decision for you and SO. Your family will be in my prayers."

thank you....the assistance part is what we're also having a problem with..we finally got off of it and if I had this child I would have to quit my job and we'd most likely have to get back on it...