Quoting ~~Lmnop~~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting annehutchins:</b>" What other threads?"</blockquote> Click on ops pic and look at her other threads"
Thank you for the help,
I found the other thread now.
OP, I'm not going to judge you, or I will at least try not to. It's not my place to do so. I've made plenty of horrible mistakes and hurt others, as well.
But I must say this; You can't expect a man who finds out after two years (Not sure how old her daughter is exactly) or so of loving a child, raising her, financially supporting her, and having her be his world that she wasn't biologically his to begin with, and then be able to even see you or your child again so easily after that, let alone consider being a father figure to her daughter and continue giving child support (if she still wanted it from him). He's probably not doing the right thing by just removing himself out of the early life of a young child who saw him as the only father figure that she knew, because you're right. She doesn't deserve to be hurt like this. But here's the thing you would need to open your eyes and mind to;
He is obviously and very much reasonably hurt. No, hurt may not even be a strong enough word for a parent who finds out that his child isn't his. More like destroyed. I can imagine him being very devastated.
I am very sorry that your daughter, among other people such as his mother, is being harmed by all of this bullsmurf, and can understand how hard it is for you to watch her being hurt by the aftermath of this. But you see, here's one of the hardest truths in this situation; This is the aftermath of mostly your
actions. Yours. Not just his.
You were the one who had the knowledge of the slightest possibility (And to me, it doesn't matter if it was only a possibility or solidified fact that she wasn't his) that this little girl may not be his biological daughter, but evidently didn't consider doing the right thing and telling him immediately after gaining this knowledge.
You should've done the right thing by telling him the minute you knew she may not be his, instead of allowing him to be deeply emotionally harmed by years of lies that came from you, instead of having him find out IMO in one of the worst ways possible...a DNA test while on vacation with what he believed to be his child, a time where father and daughter should be enjoying each other's presence, rather than finding a reason to not be even able to be around her anymore
And that is quite evidently why, however wrong he may be in his reactions and interactions with your child, he is distancing himself from you, and your daughter.
So you can't pin quite a lot of this on him. These are the consequences of choices made by YOU.
I'm sorry for being so blunt, but I honestly have to be about this. If you are putting so much blame and responsibility on him for the situation that you brought yourself and your daughter in, someone has to be.
And that's all I have to say.
I will, however, wish you and your daughter the best of luck in the future and hope something good will come for the both of you and your BD (or...maybe ex-BD is better :/ No intentional offense when I say this) following these immense hardships in your life right now.