Having a heard time

As time goes on I am having a harder time dealing with the fact that I had an abortion..... It hurts so deep.... The reasons I found to have it don't seem legit anymore.... infact, I was pretty much "forced" into it.... doesn't make it feel any better.... and I'm wondering if I will ever feel better about it.....

Quoting .........................:" As time goes on I am having a harder time dealing with the fact that I had an abortion..... It hurts ... [snip!] ... pretty much "forced" into it.... doesn't make it feel any better.... and I'm wondering if I will ever feel better about it....."

Hey there. I don't know where to start other than I know you are struggling atm from the posts you have made. Obviously I do not know you personally, but I do know you are normally cheerful, feisty at times and atm you are the complete opposite. How long ago did you have an abortion? Did BD force you into it? Were you in a good situation at the time of the abortion? How are you feeling about it now?

Quoting Sonia Tuckerman:" Hey there. I don't know where to start other than I know you are struggling atm from the posts you have ... [snip!] ... abortion? Did BD force you into it? Were you in a good situation at the time of the abortion? How are you feeling about it now?"

I had the abortion january 27th....4 days before the date I lose my son 2 years ago.... MY EDD was August 19th which happens to be my step-sister's EDD. My Birthday was august 26th my son's was the 28th? so now I have two days in August to mourn and two days in January.... I used to tell myself I KNOW it's better this way.... but it's not...

In all honesty... the emotions of those dates in part with the emotions of being stranded by, not "some dued", but the love of my life on top of the emotional empact of not being mentally, physically or emotionally ready, drove me to my decision.... all " good" reasons... but lately they don't feel "good" enough....

Are you still with this man??
So at the time, it probably was the right decision, although now you feel like you have nothing. Have you seen anyone about how you are feeling? Honestly, I would be going to see your dr and get something to get you through these next few months. To help support your emotions. You should never feel and have to go through this on your own.

And I understand about your sister. My sister and I had our first children together, exactly 4 weeks apart. Then we both fell pregnant and were due 1 week apart. I miscarried on her sons birthday and she went on the carry a beautiful healthy girl. I was shattered. I had to watch my sister blossum in her pregnancy when it should have been both of us. It makes it terribly hard, and I coped by pulling away from her. Which is awful as we are really close. But I couldn't cope with seeing her, and her belly. But my SO was really good and listened whenever I needed to talk. Do you have that support???

While technically no one forced you...your own psyche did in fact make you feel you had no other choices.
I'm sorry you felt that way...and i hope that nothing like this ever happens to you again.

No one should ever feel like their choices have been removed...even if by their own minds or circumstances.

You weren't forced into anything. You think having an abortion in the hopes that Andrew would come back is being forced into it...and it's not.

I'm sorry you had to go through that..I really am. It sucks to have an abortion and you feel like smurf for a long time after.. But saying you were forced is taking it too far. It was your choice. You went back and forth about it and decided to go through with it..you decided..not anyone else.

It doesn't help the healing process to think that way. It will just make you bitter and upset. Accept the fact that you had the abortion because you thought that it was best for you and your daughter.. It's a lot easier to deal with that way..at least for me it was.

dont quote modded posts. please delete the quote.

I'm so sorry hun, I remember your posts in AS and practically everyone was telling you to get an Abortion but they're not the ones dealing with the regret now. I'm so sorry you're going through this  

I had an abortion right after I turned 18, it was just a bad situation. Bad timing, bad relationship, bad everything. I was nowhere mentally prepared for it. And then a few months later I was pregnant again, different everything and I ended up having a miscarriage. I'm turning 20 soon, and I am about to have a baby girl in July! But when I had mine, I felt like I was forced into, too. I cried for a long, long time. I felt so ashamed about it. For the longest time I told my two best friends I miscarried... But it DOES get better, I promise! It will take a little bit of time. Everytime happens for a reason. Keep your head up! Try and do some positive things to get your mind off of it. If you can help it try not to be alone for long periods of time, if you find yourself dwelling on it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Me Gusta:</b>" dont quote modded posts. please delete the quote."</blockquote>




Sorry. It wasn't modded when I quoted.

i think you will always regret it, but if it were me i would do some things to bring closure and help myself heal. if it were me, i might write the baby i lost a letter to say goodbye. think about what would bring you closure.