I feel like smurf. Need to vent.

3 years ago I had an abortion. I don't really know why... I was young and stupid and when I think back to it it all seems like a blur.
I never really got over it and have always wished I didn't go through with it.

Now I'm 19 weeks pregnant and I love this baby. I can't wait to meet him/her and even though this baby was a result of failed contraception I couldn't be happier.
Until yesterday.
The father of my angel baby got in touch with me and all those feelings of regret etc just came rushing back.
I feel horrible because all I can think is why did I do it.
Why did I terminate that pregnancy but not this one.
Why do I care about this baby but I didn't care about that one.
I'm bringing this baby into the world to be surrounded by love but I couldn't do that for the first baby.

Ughhhhhhh. I know there's nothing I can do about it now, I just feel so bad.
Has anyone else gone through anything similar?

I'm sorry, mama...

I could have written your post. I had an abortion 3yrs ago, but I knew at the time I couldn't afford to raise the baby and knew the dad wouldn't be there to help. I got pregnant on bc and chose to keep this baby because I couldn't go through it again. I just had my baby on the 9th and while I was pregnant I thought why is this baby different? I finally told myself to not beat myself up and that I made the decision I had to at the time. I still think about the what ifs from time to time, but i try not to let myself go down that path too much. Its hard and I have my moments, but I love this baby.

<blockquote><b>Quoting georgia. ♥:</b>" 3 years ago I had an abortion. I don't really know why... I was young and stupid and when I think back ... [snip!] ... Ughhhhhhh. I know there's nothing I can do about it now, I just feel so bad. Has anyone else gone through anything similar?"</blockquote>




If you could not provide the life the child needed,you did the right thing. If you didn't care,you would have had it in a messed up place and not cared.

I had the same feeling after my son was born. I asked myself the same questions but when I thought about it, I looked at the difference between where I am now and where I was four years ago. I wouldn't have been able to give that baby the love and support he/she deserved so after thinking about it im glad I made the decision I did.

I’m afraid this might happen to me. Well it sort of already is. I aborted 8 weeks ago and now I have baby fever like crazy. I keep thinking, if I want a baby so bad, why did I go through with the termination? But I realise, it’s not the baby I didn’t want, it was the situation I was in that I didn’t want, for me or the baby.

I honestly don’t think by having the abortion it means you love your angel baby less than the one you are carrying now. When you had the abortion, I’m sure you were thinking about what was right for you, and what was right for the baby as well.

Quoting georgia. ♥:" 3 years ago I had an abortion. I don't really know why... I was young and stupid and when I think back ... [snip!] ... Ughhhhhhh. I know there's nothing I can do about it now, I just feel so bad. Has anyone else gone through anything similar?"

it wasn't time back then, clearly you couldn't handle it there was some reason and just cause you may not remember tit doesn't mean it wasn't there.

Quoting Kea D:" it wasn't time back then, clearly you couldn't handle it there was some reason and just cause you may not remember tit doesn't mean it wasn't there."

Just cause i may not remember it doesn't mean it wasn't there?
Sorry?

Quoting georgia. ♥:" Just cause i may not remember it doesn't mean it wasn't there? Sorry?"

sorry I don't always make sence I try, what I mean is the reasons you had, you may not remember the reasons you did it but you did have one. was that better?

Oh okay, I understand now. :]