vent..LONG!

Let me start from the beginning. I had a pretty miserable pregnancy. Several scares with pre-term labor, ovary cysts erupting over and over,and then that God aweful toxemia. My nurse told me that we would have to take the baby at37 weeks because prolonging the pregnancy was dangerous. Then my doctor comes in there and says that toxemia was not anything to worry about and told me that he was gonna let me go overdue if it came down to it...which it did. I asked if a c-section could be an option because I knew that the baby was too big for my pelvis. He told me that the baby couldn't be any bigger than 6 pounds from what he couldsee. Well, I was 3 days overdue and the only reason he said we could induce was because my hubby was home on R&R from Iraq and his time was limited to be with me andour daughter. So..I go in at 5:30 am to get the show on the road. I was dialted to two after 30 minutes of labor. Then they broke my water...the popping of the bag didn't hurt but trying toreach forfor it was not fun.The contractions were killing me, I was screamingfor meds and my doctor said no that I was gonna have to work through themuntil I was a little more further in progress. My poor husband was crying, so was my daddy because they felt completely helpless. My nurse came in there and she said that something to seem right to her. So she checked me and she couldn't even find my cervix anymore. So the doctor came in and I asked him to please be a little gentle because I felt like I was swelling shut. He told me that's what I got for wanting to be induced. So, he checked me and his attitude changed from being an ass to freaking out. He said that I was going backwards in labor rather than progressing. My cervix had completely shut and the baby was moving further up into my rib cage with every contraction. Then he said the baby was too big to deliver vaginally and an emergency c-section was a must. Well, I didn't even care at that point...They rolled me into the O.R. and gave me my spinal block. I ended up puking all over this poor nurse and it was her first time to help deliver a baby haha. Well the surgery went smooth and I was more than happy to recieve my little button that released morphine into my iv haha. They told me I didn't bleed or anything. When I was finally rolled upstairs to my room to hold Emma for the first time, my husband asked the nurse why my lips were so white. It was then they realized I was losing blood and I needed transfusions...thank God for my observant husband. We asked where the blood was going, they just didn't have an answer. I had two blood transfusions and I was sent home a few days later. I woke up 4 days after being home having the shakes and a fever or 103. So, we went up to the doctor and they said it sounded like I had a hematoma. So they tried pushing the blood out of my stomach through my incision right there without any numbing meds..I was screaming so then they decided that the clot was too big and I needed another surgery. Turns out that I was bleeding internally after they sewed me back up after the section for over a week. So there was just this blood sitting there in my belly. The clot ended up being bigger than a softball. My aunt called my in my recovery room and she told me had seen the results of my CT scan because she is a nurse at the same hospital where I was and said it was not only a clot but it was getting an infection that could have killed me if we would have waited any longer. When we asked the doctor that he said that it was completely untrue and that I could rest assure that none of his patients have ever gotten an infection after he performed a surgery. After all of this shit that I had to go through, I'm scared to have another baby. I look at Emma and I love her more than anything, but right when this was all going on, I had a little bit of resentment built up. I'm over it now and realize that the doctor and hospital should have been alot more concerned with everything. I ended up having postpartum depression, but my doctor didn't even diagnose me with it...he said that it was just hormones trying to go back into place. A family member of mine who is retired frombeing an OBGYN said that I definitely had it. I know that I need another doctor...there was only like 2 doctors that accepted my insurance. I wanted to have another baby by the time I was 24 and that be my last one, but I'm too scared to go through with another pregnancy and have the same delivery experience. I'm so upset that I have been traumatized so badly that I probably won't go through with it again. Do you think that I'll just forget about everything and all the pain I endured eventually? Thanks for reading!

I cannot believe that you went through all of that. I'm sorry. You are one brave woman.

all i have to say is i commend you for going through all that. I had to have an emergency c section & a transfusion & that was scary enough. I dont think you'll ever forget about it, but when you go to have your next child go to another doctor. that one was an idiot.

that's really sux!

as for your question if you'll forget the pain.... i remember being in pain, but not the intensitiy. i remember asking people right after my emergancy c-section why they had more than 1 kid.. they told me they forgot the pain. i remember thinking at that time, oh you can't forget that!.. well, i'm pregnant again, just proves i was wrong, they were right!

When it comes to child birth I don't think we're notmeant to forget it no matter what form it takes. I know you went through alot and compared to my story I had a cake walk (22 hours of labor, only dialted 1 1/2 - 2cm, wasdenied an epidural, pains meds given knocked me out but I still felt every bit of pain while I was alseep, had a doctor exam me while he bitched about not gettignt he days off he wanted and it felt like he was RIPPING ME APART, idiot Dr couldn't get my spinal in correctly after 4 attempts(OOWWW!!!) so I had to be compeletely knocked out for my c-section).

During and after all that I said how can anyone ever want to do this more then once?! Then I saw my son...and all that melted away cause I knew that I had earned my stripes and right to be his mother. My pain and suffering was rewarded with a beautiful baby boy.....needless to say baby # 2 is due in Oct and this time I'll be better prepares...I'm opting for another C-Section!!!

Pain heals, scars fade, but the gift of a child is forever!!

I swore up and down I'd never have anther baby!! I had to have an emergency c-section while I was waiting on my OR my lil' one was stuck in my pelvis at that time my pain meds weren't working. that was the worst pain EVER. Then after I had my c-section they didn't order my pain meds before I went in so I had to lay there just cut open NO MEDS for over 30min. WOW that really really hurt. I was so pissed about that, still am. That was so un-called for in my book. I was also in the hospital for 7days because I kept getting infections.

But now I'm 29wks and 1day..he was worth it..

You poor thing, that Dr was definitely not a good one

that sounds terrible! but i think youll be able to recover to have another baby. Ull just be more wary of drs and maybe by then ull have better insurance

thanks for sympathizing. I know that I'm not the only person that had to go through a miserable child birth, but I just couldn't believe that it happened to me. I'm sure I will forget someday. I'll go through labor again...I've already forgotten the pain of all that. I really would like to have a vaginal birth if there is a next time, and definitely get a different doctor that hates his freaking job. I'm sure with all the complications that the next doctor will schedule a c-section way before my due date. Recovering from a section is no fun...but I heard that recovering from a tummy tuck is way worse and I'm gonna need one after being stretched to my limit. So I might as well go ahead and man up to have another baby because after my tummy tuck I will NOT be having more kids! Does anyone know anybody that had a tummy tuck? I'm really interested in getting one, but good Lord, I'm scared!