re: How much of behavior is due to parenting?

Quoting Miss W.:" ODD is not caused by the parent. "

It has been LINKED (not caused, linked, most things are just linked) to influences in early childhood including parental involvement. Simmilar to RAD.

Quoting That Fat Chick:" It has been LINKED (not caused, linked, most things are just linked) to influences in early childhood including parental involvement. Simmilar to RAD."

The general medical theory is that for disorders like that to develop there has to be a trait, or gene, and a triggering event. So it's not like it's the parent's fault, it could be something like moving to a different town or losing a pet that is the trigger.

Children are pendulums. We can stop them, pause them, rush them, talk to them, love them, polish them. But whenever we let go of them, they always return to the rhythm they were meant to keep.

I do think that people sometimes break their pendulums, however. Which is never a good idea.

Quoting That Fat Chick:" I think most behavior is due to parenting or lack there of. Many disorders are also caused by parental ... [snip!] ... (ie. RAD, ODD). Most behavior is learned or reinforced by parents. So in the end, yes it's a reflection of the parent."

What about behaviors that are present from birth?

Quoting Zipo Bibrok 5 × 10^8 LIVR:" The general medical theory is that for disorders like that to develop there has to be a trait, or gene, ... [snip!] ... not like it's the parent's fault, it could be something like moving to a different town or losing a pet that is the trigger."

Uh, no losing a pet is not going to trigger ODD  . According to the Mayo Clinic risk factors mostly include ongoing discord within the family, abuse and neglect, parents having inconsistant discipline
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/oppositional-defiant-disorder/DS00630/DSECTION=risk-factors

Being abused or neglected

Harsh or inconsistent discipline

Lack of supervision

Lack of positive parental involvement

Having parents with a severely troubled marriage

Parents with a history of ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder or conduct problems

Financial problems in the family

Family instability such as occurs with divorce, multiple moves, or changing schools or child care providers frequently

ODD? Otherwise known as being a teenager?

Oy, and here I thought I had heard it all.

Quoting Northbound 35:" What about behaviors that are present from birth?"

It's possible. It's also possible to deal with those behaviors in a way that they are going to give a child their best shot in life. But if a child is already predisposed then has inconsistant parenting on top of it the parents are definitly a contributing factor.

Please realize I'm coming from a place of some experience. I work with children with these disorders, I have to create treatment plans for these children, and I have to know the backgrounds. It's RARE that there isn't a parental component. In fact in the 7 years that I've worked within this field I have only seen one ONE single case where there was no parental component.

Quoting Northbound 35:" ODD? Otherwise known as being a teenager? Oy, and here I thought I had heard it all."

  No no no. Children with real ODD, and not being misdiagnosed go beyond the normal teenager behavior and are, in fact, normally a lot younger.

Quoting That Fat Chick:" It's possible. It's also possible to deal with those behaviors in a way that they are going to give ... [snip!] ... in the 7 years that I've worked within this field I have only seen one ONE single case where there was no parental component. "

No, I know that it's probably rare that there is no parental component. And it's true that a less than perfect parent can exacerbate behaviors that are present from birth...

But really, none of us are perfect parents, and I think that if a behavior is present from birth, it can't be blamed on the parenting, even if the parenting or lack of parenting exacerbates it.

I always tell my mom that my daughter is lucky to have me as her mom. Any other mom would have gone bat-smurf crazy by now. I realize my daughter's behavior is not "normal" but I never punish her for it or subconsciously aggravate it. How she behaves is who she is, and I'm supposed to accept her for it and hopefully point her in the right direction. But if any other mom was raising her and didn't take that approach, and her behavior worsened, I wouldn't blame her as the parent. Nobody is perfect at anything.

Quoting That Fat Chick:" Uh, no losing a pet is not going to trigger ODD  . According to the Mayo Clinic risk factors mostly ... [snip!] ... familyFamily instability such as occurs with divorce, multiple moves, or changing schools or child care providers frequently "

I was just giving examples, losing a pet could cause a disturbance in the home. From your experience it may appear that there is no case without parent involvement but it may be more that you are seeing parents after they have been effected by having a difficult child. They may have started out wonderfully but have been worn down to not caring or being controlling by the child because being wonderful wasn't working.

Quoting Zipo Bibrok 5 × 10^8 LIVR:" I was just giving examples, losing a pet could cause a disturbance in the home. From your experience ... [snip!] ... out wonderfully but have been worn down to not caring or being controlling by the child because being wonderful wasn't working."

That's also a legitimate point.

Quoting Northbound 35:" No, I know that it's probably rare that there is no parental component. And it's true that a less than ... [snip!] ... and didn't take that approach, and her behavior worsened, I wouldn't blame her as the parent. Nobody is perfect at anything."

Oh I agree, no one's perfect. But you can't deny that our imperfections shape our children's behavior as much as are perfections  

Quoting Northbound 35:" No, I know that it's probably rare that there is no parental component. And it's true that a less than ... [snip!] ... and didn't take that approach, and her behavior worsened, I wouldn't blame her as the parent. Nobody is perfect at anything."

Oh I agree, no one's perfect. But you can't deny that our imperfections shape our children's behavior as much as are perfections  

Quoting That Fat Chick:" Oh I agree, no one's perfect. But you can't deny that our imperfections shape our children's behavior as much as are perfections  "

Yes, and I'm still somewhat undecided as to whether those imperfections are largely genetic or environmental. The experts say it's a little of both... I tend to agree with that.

Quoting Zipo Bibrok 5 × 10^8 LIVR:" I was just giving examples, losing a pet could cause a disturbance in the home. From your experience ... [snip!] ... out wonderfully but have been worn down to not caring or being controlling by the child because being wonderful wasn't working."

Mind you I also only see extreme cases. I do not see how losing a pet can have such an ongoing effect on the home as to trigger disorder. That's not how disorders work. Disorders that could be caused (I say could, because again there is no CAUSATIONAL only CORRELATIONAL) by parental influence are things that happen over months and years. Not a single incident.