Single and expecting

I have a one year old, I am 18 weeks pregnant and I'm single. I feel like this breakup is so hard and I'll never get over him. I cry all the time and miss him very much. Has anyone been in a similar situation. I could use some advice. I keep trying to talk to him. Text, calls and emails but he is at a different point in his life, he likes to go out, drink and meet girls. I want to keep the hope alive that maybe he will change and be the man our kids and I need him to be but then I think if he isn’t there now to help and support why keep the hope alive.

The first thing you have to do is give him his space. It's only going to make him distance himself more if you're pestering him all the time even if it feels to you like you're not doing it all the time. He'll either man up or he won't but it will be far easier for you to make him feel like he doesn't want to by being clingy and needy.

Yea haven't been with him in over a year and couldn't ever go back. He honestly isn't too involved in the kids' life so that makes me somewhat happy.

I just got divorced from the father of my 4 children. He cheated, abused me, was more into his looks, cars, clothes, and women. He was also at a different point in life. It has been the hardest thing to go through, but I know in the end I will get over him. Some days I miss him so much and I cry all day, others I don't really think about him. I know I will never forget him because he is the father of my children, but I know that it's better to be without him. I hoped and prayed for 10 years that mine would change and he never did. He might change one day, but for me it will be too late. There is no point in trying to force a guy to be in your life, no matter how hard it gets. If they want to be there, they will be there. If they don't want to be there and it is forced, you will be the only one heartbroken in the end along with your children.

P3RvYmCp3rv -Is it hard not having him in the kids life? Do they stop asking for him?

Thanks WeenieMachine. I'm going to stop contacting him and see if he can man up or not. . . I still have a little over four months before baby number two arrives and we'll see where I find myself then.

I'm going through the same thing, but I'm 35 wks pregnant, trust me... get over him leave him alone before you get big and miserable and start hating him. I have been trying to get my unborn childs father to have something to do with me for the longest and he doesn't want to or he would. As my hormones get worse it seems like I have this Hate toward him now. He hasn't bought anything for the baby or helped me what so ever. He will decide he wants to be with me and will stick around for a few days at a time, then he picks a fight, leaves and ignores me for about 3 -4 days. Texts me the usual "I can't do this, I can't live withouth you" "I love you so much" or something along those lines. This has been going on for way too long. I know how you feel and I wish I could tell you it's going to get better... Its so hard being pregnant and sitting at home being miserable worrying about what he is doing all the time... but I see it like this, if he is willing to abandon me while pregnant, then he doesn't deserve to be a part of my childs life constantly disappointing him/her too.

have raised my 6 yr old on my own her whole life, and its defiantely not easy.. he was my first love and i thought my life was going to be over, but girl its not. It hurts for a long time and you might always still have love in your heart for him, but life goes on, and you have your kids to worry about. My 6yr old father is a cop and doesnt really do much for his daughter but she knows i love her and there are people in this world who think of the world of her. All you have to do is give all your love and time to your kids and forget the guys who dont appreciate the gift of love from your kids... I have found my soul partner acouple years ago who actually used to be my neighbor as a kid, and now we have had a baby last year and another one in a few weeks... Life goes on and it makes you stronger, and one day you will find someone who will appreciate you and your kids even if they arent his own. Keep your chin up and show him that you dont care anymore, and he can do what he wants, but he has to pay you child support to help raise your kids even if he isnt going to be there. You can do it, If i could do it with millions of women in this world anyone can do it, as long as you put your kids first. Good Luck and just remember you are blessed to have these kids who will forver be in your life and always have endless love for you no matter what.

Thanks ladies it has helped to know that I am NOT the only one going through this. I blame myself! But I am slowly understanding that I didn't do anything wrong, I'm trying to do good for me and my children but I just keep feeling like I need him, when in reality he has only brought me down. Because like you said MOMMY to 4 ANGELS he is into his looks, women, and drinking and not concerned about our children and what they need or want. Thank you ALL!!!

i was single throughout my first pregnancy but i was never with the father so i didnt have any issues about wanting him to be around. i was lonely and it sucked doing it all alone and stuff so i'm here to talk to about that if you want. i think you may be better off without him in your life at this point anyways. sounds like it'd stress you out even more to have him around if he's gonna always be out gone partying with his friends. try not to stress so much as its not good for the baby i'm sure you know. if he's gonna come around someday, he's gonna have to realize that on his own and theres not much you can do or say to make anyone wanna stay with you. just let him know how you feel and then let him decide how he wants to handle his own life.

Quoting Venessa Rodriguez:" Thanks ladies it has helped to know that I am NOT the only one going through this. I blame myself! But ... [snip!] ... he is into his looks, women, and drinking and not concerned about our children and what they need or want. Thank you ALL!!!"

I have been telling myself that the whole time I have been pregnant, that I need him. But truth is... he has never helped me with anything, hasn't had a job the whole time I have been pregnant and he is never going to change. Although I love him so much... he will never put me and my children first. Idk what makes us women think like that... I have never in my life let a man walk all over me like this. I'm actually kinda disappointed in myself, I'm just hoping that once I give birth the attachment, and feeling like I need him will go away somewhat. This pregnancy has been horrible but I look at it like that, The baby I'm growing in my belly is my "light at the end of the tunnel." and the son I already have is the only reason I have been able to hold myself together through all this. I hope things get better for you, because this is no fun at all... women love deeply and its's so hard for us to give up on someone when we know deep down thats what we need to do.