Preemie Blues

I know baby blues are normal...but who else is feeling so overwhelmed w/ a preemie??

I have thoughts that if he'd stayed in NICU longer then I could have avoided the "schedule-less" baby and taken home an older baby who was already on a set feeding and sleeping schedule. Then I think that's a horrible thought to have!!  

And while he was planned, I find myself thinking this was a mistake. Please tell me I'm not alone in my negative thoughts...! Anyone else gone/going through this with advice?

I try to remind myself his age will only be counted in days/weeks for a lil longer and then never again. I need to enjoy these early times with him...but I cry at the drop of a pin and sometimes I'm not sure why I'm crying...

Quoting CatLuvr83:“ I know baby blues are normal...but who else is feeling so overwhelmed w/ a preemie?? I have thoughts ... [snip!] ... again. I need to enjoy these early times with him...but I cry at the drop of a pin and sometimes I'm not sure why I'm crying...”

Sounds like you have a little PPD, which is normal, a lot of women get it. Plus your hormones are going crazy and to add to all of that, you probably feel overwhelmed because he was early.

Quoting Preggerific:“ Sounds like you have a little PPD, which is normal, a lot of women get it. Plus your hormones are going crazy and to add to all of that, you probably feel overwhelmed because he was early.”

I'm realizing parenthood is one of those things in life where no matter how many people tell me things in preparation, no one truly understands until they experience their own baby.

Sooo many people told us about the sleepless nights and more...and while we could intellectually grasp that being tired isn't fun and we'll need to adjust, we just were NOT prepared for the sleeplessness...if that makes sense...

I never dealt with a premie, but your thoughts are normal! I can't tell you how many times I wondered if I should have ever had a baby, if I was capable of taking care of him, if he cried and we struggled with BF cuz of ME, and on and on...

I would keep your dr. up to speed on your feelings so they can monitor you for PPD. It may just be hormones and stress, though.

BTW- I never had Evan on a feeding schedule...he ate on demand for at least the first 6 months, then it seemed like it fell into a schedule.

{{{HUGS}}} to you! You can do it! Just keep pluggin away...one day at a time! I remember praying every night thanking God that He got me through one more day.

Quoting CatLuvr83:“ I'm realizing parenthood is one of those things in life where no matter how many people tell me things ... [snip!] ... that being tired isn't fun and we'll need to adjust, we just were NOT prepared for the sleeplessness...if that makes sense...”

To tell you the truth, I have heard all of that too, and I am scared shitless of how I am going to be able to deal with an infant all night long... I am in the same boat my friend.

Quoting KellyTheChef:“ I never dealt with a premie, but your thoughts are normal! I can't tell you how many times I wondered ... [snip!] ... Just keep pluggin away...one day at a time! I remember praying every night thanking God that He got me through one more day.”

We couldn't feed on demand the first two weeks b/c he was preemie...we were so vigilant about feeding him that he gained very well. Which is good, but now we're allowed to feed on demand and I worry that he'll go too long without eating now so I make him eat after 3 - 3.5 hrs. And I don't know it that's wise...

My mom says to let him go until he cries b/c he needs to learn what hunger feels like and that if you cry others will know and help. She says that if we feed him so often he'll never know his own body and its signals...

how old is he. for the first few weeks i fed my boys every 2 to 3 hours (but they also wanted it) but is he is old enough hemay go 3 or 4 hours not eating and thats fine i say if he is old enough try telling him go until he crys to eat

My first child was a preemie.I had her at 33 weeks. She couldn't come home when I was discharged. It broke my heart. So ur feelings ar normal. I went thru ppd after she was born and if it weren't for my parents I think I would've gone crazy. But she is fine now and has never had any difficulties with anything. She was born with a heart murmur and when she went for her 6 mth check up it cleared up. I kept her in the house until almost 4 mths cuz I was scared to take her out b/c I didn't want to get her sick.
Just be patient. Everything will be ok. In time...
Good luck!

I HATE how everyone jumps in to say PPD!! I was told the same thing, (by 'well wishers'),but actually its just part of a NORMAL process that you are going through. I dont see why people are so quick to judge and label and hand out medications. Its all about adjusting to your new circumstances, it takes time, and like any new situation, it is difficult because you ae no longer in your comfort zone or routine. On top of this, all the hormones and fear for having a preemie combined with lack of sleep, well its totally normal that you are feeling this way. Just accept your thoughts, try not to dwell on anything, and take each day as it comes. Be thankful that your lil one is home, and try to enjoy your time together. Best wishes to you & ur family   x

I agree with twinmami. Being a mother is stressful, being the mother of a preemie is 10-fold! This is my second baby, second preemie, and sometimes I wonder what the heck we were thinking. I love my son with all of my heart (of course) but sometimes I feel like I just can't do it anymore. And then he smiles. And we start all over! Your baby is still young but before you know it he will be reminding you every day of why you had a baby and how thankful you are that you did. If your son is within 2-3 weeks of his due date, you should let him sleep if he wants to, especially at night. He needs to learn that nights are for sleeping and days are for everything else. He probably won't go more than 4 hours without waking up hungry, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. I fed my preemie on a schedule until he showed me that it wasn't working anymore! He was about 2 months old and right around his due date. Hang in there momma!

Quoting CatLuvr83:“ We couldn't feed on demand the first two weeks b/c he was preemie...we were so vigilant about feeding ... [snip!] ... if you cry others will know and help. She says that if we feed him so often he'll never know his own body and its signals...”

My first daughter was born at 32 weeks and she weighed 2lbs11oz and after 6 weeks in the NICU Iw as paranoid of her getting enough food. When she came home she was full demand BF. I used to wake up at night when ever she would even grunt and feed her. After about 4 months of this I was beyond exhausted and asked Annabelle's pedatritian what I could do to help her sleep more at hight. He expaliend that moms of premies usually have this same problem with over feeding especially at night for reasurance that everything is okay. He told me to wait to feed her at night until she was REALLY awake which does not mean waiting until she has been screaming for 10 minutes just make her mean it. Well, after a few nights of making her mean it I was only getting up twice a night for feedings which is way more normal than the every other hour I had been endring to that point. As far as the thoughts I went through the same process of though with my daughter though she was in the NICU at the time so it was different. When a baby has complications it is normal to go through the thought process you have had and I wouldn't "lable" it too quickly as PPD. I think your thread gave a better explanation just the preemie blues. It will pass, and it is normal. Good luck. PM me if you need to talk.

Thank you for all the replies and support ladies. This helps.

Quoting CatLuvr83:“ I know baby blues are normal...but who else is feeling so overwhelmed w/ a preemie?? I have thoughts ... [snip!] ... again. I need to enjoy these early times with him...but I cry at the drop of a pin and sometimes I'm not sure why I'm crying...”

I am telling you what you are feeling is totally normal. I had a lot of those same feelings/emotions and it was horrible. I remember Memorial Day when they didn't think that Aidan was going to make it and how I was trying to reason everything they had to say. I remember just trying to grasp everything to put it into some sort of perspective for myself. You will get through it. Just have faith in knowing that your little miracle will be home with you before you know it and the NICU will become a far distant memory. I promise you that. If you ever need to talk, PM me. My son will be 4 on May 11. Hard to believe he was a 31 weeker.

Everyone who's normal has baby blues whether they admit it or not. The first few days I cried at the drop of a hat and I would say "No body told me it was going to be like this!" It takes a lot of work to take care of your baby AND to keep your sanity. It gets easier as the days pass. And you do not have freakin Postpartum Depression. That's a crock of shit & you have to actually HAVE a baby to be the judge of that. GAHHHHH people agravate me lol. Anyways, I wouldn't worry about it unless like a month has passed by (that your baby has been home) and if you're still blue, I'd talk to my doctor if I were you. It's normal to start off thinking WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!!???!!!! Cause I thought the same thing and ours was planned. It happens. Good luck girl! =D

Quoting CatLuvr83:“ I'm realizing parenthood is one of those things in life where no matter how many people tell me things ... [snip!] ... that being tired isn't fun and we'll need to adjust, we just were NOT prepared for the sleeplessness...if that makes sense...”

I feel the same way. Our son wasn't planned tho lol