Xavier is home!!! brith story a bit long..plus pics

my beautiful baby boy is home as of today,
so very fast i went into labor sat april 5th but i figured it was just b.h at the time so i slept on it.by the next morning i was in so much pain but i figured they still were b.h's adn if i went to the hospital they would send me home. well by 4:00 pm sunday april 6th i was throwing up,had bowel issues,then i lost my mucous plug and had light bleeding.
my husband said lets go and i agreed.we took my kids to our friends house and arrived at the hosptial at5:30pm doc checked me i was 4-5cm and my contractions were 2-3 min apart!!! yikes!!!
i got an epi even though i felt i could have gone longer without it.however my doc said i was moving so fast he did not want me to miss the window to get it.
so the epi dpc came in and was out in 20min did not hurt as bad as i thought it would.the epi worked too fast and i started to feel like i was being crushed and could not breathe.so they turned the epi off and slowly started it up and i felt great.my husband and i talked about our new baby girl and then i felt pressure.the doc came in broke my water at 9:00pm and by 11:00pm I was fully dialted and i pushed for 15 min and i had my beautiful baby along with 6 stiches..ouch!!!so the doc turned baby over and discovered it was not a girl but a boy!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! what 2 do about all the girl stuff!ha!ha!.
well as time passed my baby got sicker and sicker nothing they did was helping him breathe.i was terrifed that i had did something wrong to make him so ill...i just fell apart. the next day he was transported to a hospital that had a n.i.c.u. as difficult as it was being only to see him once a day ,im happy that they were able to help him.
he had excessive fluid in his lungs,blocked nasal passage,severe jaundice,could not hold his own proper body temp,and they thought he may have a infection.he was hooked up to oxygen, iv fluids,anti-biotics,put him under the billi isolette/warmer ,and they told me 7-10 days he would be in the n.i.c.u.
i cried everytime i had to leave him and would cry at random during the day.i would pump breast milk and take it to the hospital for them to feed it too him.
he finally turned a corner friday night and just made a complete turn around by saturday and by sundayafternoon the doc called and told me to come pick up my baby! i just could not get to the hospital fast enough..the n.i.c.u is 1.5 hrs from my house..i think we got there in 45min.
you know ,i was so torn when i got pregnant and struggled through my whole pregnancy.i had an i.u.d and still got pregnant and was just so depressed.but the second i laid my eyes on my baby i was soooooooooooo in love!!
then when he was ill and had to be apart from me for 6 whole days..i realized what a fool i had been and he was a true miracle and a gift from god!.i feel so guilty for all my thoughts and actions during my pregnancy.like not wanting to tell anybody i was pregnant.my family found out the day i went to the hospital.Needless to say my 1st words to my son was"im so sorry ,and i love you!"
it was a less than 1% chance i would become pregnant with an i.u.d and to be told he was girl ,and then the trip to the n.i.c.u my son is just a wonderful blessing and an amazing surprise.





oh he weighs 8.lbs 1oz and is 20..5inch

God bless that little boy of yours... thank god he's home and well...you always have to lose something to realize what it meant to you, thank god you didn't have to experience that and you are in love with your lil boy