re: Abusive Relationship Support

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" hey you havent talk to you in a while how are you doing? "

Doing well, how are you?

Sorry about the dead thread. It happens from time to time with no responses

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" Doing well, how are you? Sorry about the dead thread. It happens from time to time with no responses"

im good. i am conflicted.

not your fault it happends

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" im good. i am conflicted. not your fault it happends "

What's wrong hun?

I'm about to make Dawn some lunch but I am here  

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" What's wrong hun? I'm about to make Dawn some lunch but I am here  "

ive been with SO for 5 yrs now. we have a son he will be 2yrs on xmas eve.
i am to the point i cant handle how he treats me he is mental abusive. this weekend he called me stupid and then tried to cover it up saying he said i was acting stupid. fkn lame i know what i heard. i am conflicted because i love him and want to be with him but then i want to break up and not have to be treated like crap or like a child. hes controling. he brings up smurf like if we arent together no court in volved 50/50 custody and other smurf. so not normal i feel hes been setting our relationship up to fail.
i wrote him a letter how i feel and the things that have to change or we will separate or break up.
i am having problems giving it to him.
i am thinking of giving it to him to read when im at work so he has time to soak it up. but then again i dont wnat him calling me at work wanting to talk about it.

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" ive been with SO for 5 yrs now. we have a son he will be 2yrs on xmas eve. i am to the point i cant ... [snip!] ... read when im at work so he has time to soak it up. but then again i dont wnat him calling me at work wanting to talk about it."

Have you thought about counseling?

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" Have you thought about counseling?"

we have gone before i made an appt for myself then one fore couples. we talk and get things out but then after the appointment he still talks abotu it and it caused problems. hes so hard headed. but in the letter i said you ahve to go to counseling (yourself), couples counseling & anger management or well sepearte or break up. we have had talks like this before and i told him he has to go to counseling & anger manangment yet he never did. didnt even try to find something or try to get insurance.
i am hoping this wakes him up because i cant do this anymore im not happy im walking on egg shells everyday.

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" we have gone before i made an appt for myself then one fore couples. we talk and get things out but ... [snip!] ... get insurance. i am hoping this wakes him up because i cant do this anymore im not happy im walking on egg shells everyday."

I sounds like you need to stand firm on what will happen if he doesn't get help. I am always here for support. I think the letter was a great idea, now to give it to him.

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" I sounds like you need to stand firm on what will happen if he doesn't get help. I am always here for support. I think the letter was a great idea, now to give it to him."

yes its going to be hard but if he doesnt do it asap it will lead to separation and if he never goes then we will break up. but hes very well at speaking he knows the right things to say or what "i want to hear" so i cant give in. i gave in to many times. as far as were id go i dont have a clue. my dads but id have to clean the smurf out of the whole house! ekk haha
thank you i appreciate it very much!

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" yes its going to be hard but if he doesnt do it asap it will lead to separation and if he never goes ... [snip!] ... a clue. my dads but id have to clean the smurf out of the whole house! ekk haha thank you i appreciate it very much! "

You are very welcome. It sounds like his behavior could be fixable, he just needs a really good scare. Maybe leave him for a while until he gets his act together. Show him you're not afraid of being without him.

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" You are very welcome. It sounds like his behavior could be fixable, he just needs a really good scare. ... [snip!] ... really good scare. Maybe leave him for a while until he gets his act together. Show him you're not afraid of being without him."

yeah i hope it is hes only gotten worse. he does need a good scare!!! i might have to but i was going to before and he talked me out of it. he also said theres no point in you moving away how can we work on us when we will rarly see each other. also that its stupid bc separate always leads to breaking up so might as well break up. then he said after that if we were to break up he would never get back with me. he never gets back with ex's. i know he used that to threaten me in a way but if he uses these lines again i wont give in.

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" yeah i hope it is hes only gotten worse. he does need a good scare!!! i might have to but i was going ... [snip!] ... me. he never gets back with ex's. i know he used that to threaten me in a way but if he uses these lines again i wont give in."

It sounds like he's trying to manipulate your feelings so you won't leave.

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" It sounds like he's trying to manipulate your feelings so you won't leave. "

he is! he knows im fully capable of leaving him & lving on my own because i left my ex hubby when he cheated on me i drove from MO to CA in 2days in a Uhal & my dog

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" he is! he knows im fully capable of leaving him & lving on my own because i left my ex hubby when he cheated on me i drove from MO to CA in 2days in a Uhal & my dog"

Well let me know how everything works out for you. I am here if you need me  

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" Well let me know how everything works out for you. I am here if you need me  "

i will thank you again!!!

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" i will thank you again!!!"

 
If you don't want to talk here, you can always PM me. I have a few ladies who choose to just keep their business more private that I PM with.

I better go walk this damn dog before he chews my hands off