re: Abusive Relationship Support

Quoting Moobugs Momma:" I was in a physical and mental abusive relationship/marriage for 5 and a half years. Everything you posted ... [snip!] ... from him. If I were still there I would be dead or very hurt. This is a great idea. I hope women realize and talk and get help!"

Great for you to get out of that! Thanks for sharing. I hope that your story and the others posted give other women the courage to speak out and seek help. I edited the OP and added links to websites and phone numbers if people are too embarrassed to post.

Quoting *Bradley&NataliesMommy*:" out of those questions, i can answer 10 of them yes. "

Do you need someone to talk to? Are you in the relationship now?

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" Do you need someone to talk to? Are you in the relationship now?"

yes, were married with 2 kids. Ive talked to a few people and they all tell me to leave but, i just cant- i just posted this secret in the secrets thread--
" />

Quoting *Bradley&NataliesMommy*:" yes, were married with 2 kids. Ive talked to a few people and they all tell me to leave but, i just cant- i just posted this secret in the secrets thread-- " />"

Why can't you leave? It can't be good for your children to see you treated that way.

Quoting *Bradley&NataliesMommy*:" yes, were married with 2 kids. Ive talked to a few people and they all tell me to leave but, i just cant- i just posted this secret in the secrets thread-- " />"

That is so true for so many people

Quoting *Bradley&NataliesMommy*:" yes, were married with 2 kids. Ive talked to a few people and they all tell me to leave but, i just cant- i just posted this secret in the secrets thread-- " />"

You can leave. You know you can. You're just not ready yet and that's OK. I hope that you leave soon though. Your children don't need to see their daddy treat their mother like that. They will grow up thinking that's OK. It keeps the cycle of abuse going. Teaches little boys that it's OK to treat girls like that and teaches little girls that it's OK for a boy to hit you, scream at you, degrade you...etc. I know you'll leave when you're ready.

Quoting *Bradley&NataliesMommy*:" yes, were married with 2 kids. Ive talked to a few people and they all tell me to leave but, i just cant- i just posted this secret in the secrets thread-- " />"

Also staying with someone just because you have kids is not right. It's not fair to YOU nor is it fair to your kids. They deserve a happy mother.

I wish there was a way to post anonymously, there's still a few things I haven't shared that I'd love to get out, but I absolutely dont want it to be identifiable to me.

  oh well, still like this thread.

Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:" I wish there was a way to post anonymously, there's still a few things I haven't shared that I'd love ... [snip!] ... shared that I'd love to get out, but I absolutely dont want it to be identifiable to me.   oh well, still like this thread."

You could always PM someone you trust if you need to. But if you feel comfortable posting, please do  

i know i CAN leave, but i wont, as smurfed up as it is, i love him, ive loved him for 6 years, and he wasnt always like this, infact he wasnt like this until after we got married, almost 2 years ago. and i think i can almost pinpoint the start of our problems- about 2 months before i got pregnant with our son, he cheated, and we worked things out, but i think when he did that i lost my passion for him, even though i still love him i dont love him the way i used to- if that makes sense. I know were having a lot of financial problems right now- we have lived with his cousin since before we got married- and i know that puts a lot of stress on both of us and causes us to fight more- i know his father was extremely abusive toward his mother, and wasnt around to raise him- so i know that plays a role as well. im not making excuses for him, i know i am in an abusive relationship, and i know its not good for my kids, but i also know its not good for my kids to not see their father either, i feel like its a rock and a hard- both decisions are bad ones. I wish there was a way for me to get that passion back and to maybe improve our marriage- i stay because i beleive that we CAN get back to the way we used to be- and i know it CAN get better, i just dont know how to get to that point- he doesnt beleive in couseling, so thats out, ive even went to counseling alone, but i know its going to take both of us to fix this- and i know he feels guilty the few times it HAS gotten physical- he gets to where he feels so guilty about hurting me he wont touch me for days.

Quoting *Bradley&NataliesMommy*:" i know i CAN leave, but i wont, as smurfed up as it is, i love him, ive loved him for 6 years, and he ... [snip!] ... guilty the few times it HAS gotten physical- he gets to where he feels so guilty about hurting me he wont touch me for days. "

Sweety, you're making excuses. I stayed for 7 years. 7. He cheated on me too. And of course he changed after he married you... would you honestly have married him if you knew he was an abusive, cheating, jack ass? In all honesty I do not feel that staying with him is the right choice. Especially since you think he *may* change. He wont. It will get worse.

Quoting ♥ B ♥:" Sweety, you're making excuses. I stayed for 7 years. 7. He cheated on me too. And of course he changed ... [snip!] ... do not feel that staying with him is the right choice. Especially since you think he *may* change. He wont. It will get worse."

 
I agree with Bea. Love isn't abusive, he is hurting you and that's not love. You need to get out of there. You deserve better.

i just dont understand one thing, if this is the real him, how did he hide it for 5 years?

Quoting ♥ B ♥:" Sweety, you're making excuses. I stayed for 7 years. 7. He cheated on me too. And of course he changed ... [snip!] ... do not feel that staying with him is the right choice. Especially since you think he *may* change. He wont. It will get worse."

I definitely agree! I've been through it too thinking it would get better and all it did was get worse and got more physical etc its like a constant roller coaster some times are good and some are bad and it shouldn't be that way... if you can get out which you CAN do it asap! Even if you need time to make a plan and get your ducks in a row so to speak do whatever you need to and get away from the situation before it gets worse no one deserves to be treated that way

i know i CAN leave, but what do i do when i dont WANT to leave. i love him. i dont want to be without him.