The F Word.

So lately when Peris and I get into a fight/argument he throws around the F word. Fat. Not the other F word.   It's become almost a daily thing. I know I'm not what I used to be..but he's called me "Fat and Nasty" and "Fatass" and saying things like "I wish I never met your fatass." etc, and it's seriously at the point where I'm crying when I look in the mirror. Or when I think about it, like now.   It's also at the point where I'm sitting next to him on the couch, and I don't even want to get up or move..because I'm so embarrassed of my weight, so I feel like if I don't get up and walk across the room..he won't see how fat I really am. I just don't know what to do. I'm going to try to lose weight, but I'm breaking down here. I don't have much of an appetite..but I know I need to eat something because I breastfeed. I'm not sure if I'm feeling so down because I just had a baby and have low-self esteem since I gained weight, because I used to feel GREAT about my body! [Pre-Pregnancy.] Well, thanks for reading ladies.

better a fatass than a fat head with nothing in it!

If my fiance said things like that to me he'd be in serious pain and sleeping on the couchlol

Im so so sorry that hes acting like that, its so unacceptable fora multitude of reasons but especially considering you just gave birth to his child.
It sounds like he says those things as an obvious way to hurt you, probably because he knows its a touchy subject and its easy for him to hurt you when he attacks your weight instead of something else. Have you tried talking to him rationally about it and telling him how much it hurts? he needs to grow up and consider you and your feelings alot more than what he does.
Again Im so sorry  

Quoting xcallmebunniex:“ So lately when Peris and I get into a fight/argument he throws around the F word. Fat. Not the other ... [snip!] ... esteem since I gained weight, because I used to feel GREAT about my body! [Pre-Pregnancy.] Well, thanks for reading ladies.”

is this your "boyfriend"??? I would get rid of this guy quick who knows what shit he will say to your daughter when she is old enough......what an ass

Robert called me bitchy the other day and I almost walked out, let him call me fat and I'd be gone so he could think about how he should treat me different. I'd be furious if someone called me that every day!

I'd kill him.

With a good lawyer, you'd be able to get away with it too. Post-partum insanity plea, and whatnot.

Seriously. maybe he just needs you to break things down to him dum-dum style. You shouldn't have to explain to him that're still in transition after having a child so recently, HIS child, might I add, but with some people, it's necessary for you to break things down in ways that they understand.

I say just rise above it. Flaunt your maturity over his obvious lack of it. Don't let him see how it affects you. He'll stop once he sees it doesn't bother you. (Even if it does, don't show it.) Everytime he says it, just say "You're so immature. It must be great to be so ignorant about life."

If that doesn't work, I know a good lawyer for when you take a cast-iron skillet to his head.

Quoting xcallmebunniex:“ So lately when Peris and I get into a fight/argument he throws around the F word. Fat. Not the other ... [snip!] ... esteem since I gained weight, because I used to feel GREAT about my body! [Pre-Pregnancy.] Well, thanks for reading ladies.”

Well, it sounds to me as though you need to tell him in a stern voice that it is unacceptable to call you names including anything that has the word FAT in it. Its not polite nor is it right. If he doesn't stop, then I think you should seriously look at ending the relationship. Its not healthy for him to say those things and its not going to help you be motivated to do anything about it.

As for eating even though you don't have an appetite... Yes, you do need to eat something, even if you weren't breastfeeding. Try eating small snacks through out the day here and there. I know its hard to eat when you're not hungry but you need something. It not only is going to help you with your milk supply but it'll help you shed some of that unwanted weight as well.

Hopefully he wisens up... if not leave him!

That kind of thing won't stop hun, it fact it will only get worse. I speak from experience. Get out now before he manages to lower your self esteem to a point where you hate yourself and think he's the best you can get.

Something I wrote a while ago. It seems to fit this, though.

Food for thought... The recipe
Divide and Conquer

(A recipe for breaking the human spirit in 6 easy steps)

1. Take a person. Get to know them. Ask them about their past. Listen. Find out their mistakes, unearth their weaknesses, their fears. Get to know their flaws. Remember all of it. Everything else about them is unimportant.

2. You're perfect. They're not. Remind them of your strengths, their weaknesses, your virtues, their vices. Remind them every chance you get. Of who you are, of what they are. When you think they might have forgotten, remind them again. Let it soak in, until they think it's always been this way. Let it marinate.

3. Whenever you see a hint of ambition, drive, happiness, HOPE, crush it. Fill their head with negativity. Point out the flaws, poor judgement, and most importantly, RISK, in every decision they might be contemplating. Tell them to play it safe by doing nothing. You can't have a failed venture without ever venturing at all, right?

4. Point out their flaws, play on their weaknesses, remind them of their mistakes. They're worthless. Who else but you would want someone like that? No one. At least, that's what you tell them. You're so much better than them, they should feel lucky even knowing you. That someone of your caliber would stoop to be around someone of that level.

5. Take that broken person. Fit the pieces together into something that pleases you, suits you, meets your needs. Your needs are the only ones that count. Throw out the pieces that don't fit your idea of who you think they are, of what you want them to be.

6. Look at that person. Look what you've made them. Broken, with no goals, plans, or ideas. No sense of self-worth, and a sense of worthlessness to those around them. Someone who is so needy, so dependent on you for emotional support. Now, don't you feel better about yourself?

Quoting RIHAERO:“ Something I wrote a while ago. It seems to fit this, though. Food for thought... The recipe Divide ... [snip!] ... around them. Someone who is so needy, so dependent on you for emotional support. Now, don't you feel better about yourself?”

That just about made me tear up. You wrote that? What was your motivation?

I would go ballistic!

My brother calls his wife fat and points out her stretch marks and is constantly commenting on how pretty other women are. I want to strangle my stupid ass brother!

I'm so sorry he's doing that. You're beautiful.

Quoting SpaceCowgirl:“ I would go ballistic! My brother calls his wife fat and points out her stretch marks and is constantly ... [snip!] ... on how pretty other women are. I want to strangle my stupid ass brother! I'm so sorry he's doing that. You're beautiful.”

if he was my SO his ass would be on the curb soooooooooo fast.
who in their right mind thinks it ok to treat ppl like that! especially ppl theyre suppose to love!