Quoting BG Secrets:" I don't know why or when my mentally changed on things. I hit my 9 month old. I have PPD, and I know ... [snip!] ... getting help through my city and county, but I don't qualify for anything because I have private insurance. I hate this  "

Can you try OTC things in the meantime? Get out of the house, exercise. Stand outside in the fresh air for 10 min.

Sitting on the couch inside made me go mad. Dont do it. Get out. The house walls will cave in on you, I know, I was there.

I hope you find help.. A pill changed my life.

Quoting J. Pot:" Can you try OTC things in the meantime? Get out of the house, exercise. Stand outside in the fresh ... [snip!] ... Dont do it. Get out. The house walls will cave in on you, I know, I was there. I hope you find help.. A pill changed my life."

This and Colleen's. I also completely agree with Mara on the resentment. Most drs will see you without the copay if you are an established patient. How much is your copay? If your dr will not work with you, PLEASE PM me and I will personally pay your copay myself. You need help, you know this, I hate what you are going through, to be in this situation and wanting and needing the help, realizing you need it, and being turned away. My heart breaks for you and your daughter  

Quoting CallMeMoses:" This and Colleen's. I also completely agree with Mara on the resentment. Most drs will see you without ... [snip!] ... wanting and needing the help, realizing you need it, and being turned away. My heart breaks for you and your daughter   "

This. I'm more then willing to give you what I can so you can go get help.

You need support hun, you can't and shouldn't do this on your own. Sleep and exercise can truely do a world of good!

Quoting CallMeMoses:" This and Colleen's. I also completely agree with Mara on the resentment. Most drs will see you without ... [snip!] ... wanting and needing the help, realizing you need it, and being turned away. My heart breaks for you and your daughter   "

Just a suggestion, if she's willing to 'out' herself you might be able to call and put money in her patient account with her doctor.

Quoting The Icebox {MBRD}:" This. I'm more then willing to give you what I can so you can go get help. You need support hun, you can't and shouldn't do this on your own. Sleep and exercise can truely do a world of good!"

I would be willing to donate some as well.

I've been in a similar position regarding PPD. Not exactly, but similar and talking to a professional can be extremely helpful.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I don't know why or when my mentally changed on things. I hit my 9 month old. I have PPD, and I know ... [snip!] ... getting help through my city and county, but I don't qualify for anything because I have private insurance. I hate this  "

gah, you sound so much like me in the deepest of my PPD. I ended up blacking out a lot of it. If you ever want to just PM me, I can keep your identity out of it and judgement out as well. I waited 5 months before seeking help...you've gone 9 months...things won't get better without some sort of help. I hope your able to get into your doctor to get help. Good luck <33

Quoting Breanna(TITSORGTFO):" Just a suggestion, if she's willing to 'out' herself you might be able to call and put money in her patient account with her doctor."

That is what I would be willing to do.

Quoting CallMeMoses:" This and Colleen's. I also completely agree with Mara on the resentment. Most drs will see you without ... [snip!] ... wanting and needing the help, realizing you need it, and being turned away. My heart breaks for you and your daughter   "

Thank you so much. You're so sweet. I really can't stand myself knowing I'm being such a terrible person to such a sweet innocent baby.

Quoting BG Secrets:" Thank you so much. You're so sweet. I really can't stand myself knowing I'm being such a terrible person to such a sweet innocent baby."

But, you realize this,/ Though, your actions are terrible, you as a person, realizing that you DO have a problem and that you need help makes you a decent person. Seriously though, you make a dr appointment, PM me your drs information and I will call. You don't even have to tell me who you are on here. Email me your drs information and your name, obviously so it goes to the right person, and I will pay the dr for you to be seen. My email address is dusty_cynthia@aol.com.

Quoting CallMeMoses:" But, you realize this,/ Though, your actions are terrible, you as a person, realizing that you DO have ... [snip!] ... obviously so it goes to the right person, and I will pay the dr for you to be seen. My email address is dusty_cynthia@aol.com. "

I'm speechless, I really have no clue how to say how I feel right now. Thank you so much.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I'm speechless, I really have no clue how to say how I feel right now. Thank you so much."

I want you to get the help you need, not just for your daughter, but you as well. I hate how our system is with mental help, it should be a free service to mothers. Raising kids is hard as hell. Especially when you are alone at it.

Quoting CallMeMoses:" But, you realize this,/ Though, your actions are terrible, you as a person, realizing that you DO have ... [snip!] ... obviously so it goes to the right person, and I will pay the dr for you to be seen. My email address is dusty_cynthia@aol.com. "

This is really very sweet if you  

Quoting CallMeMoses:" But, you realize this,/ Though, your actions are terrible, you as a person, realizing that you DO have ... [snip!] ... obviously so it goes to the right person, and I will pay the dr for you to be seen. My email address is dusty_cynthia@aol.com. "

amazing. I have tears in my eyes. so sweet of you.

I just wanna start off by saying I have never abused my child he has got a pop on his thigh a few times but he's 18 months old and I stay with him 24/7 my SO won't take him for a couple hrs just so i can catch a break i love my LO to death but the past couple weeks i've been close to snapping and i have to set him in his room and just sit in my room and cry and listen to him cry I don't want to ever hurt him as i was abused when i was little and don't wanna continue the cycle. I feel bad for even popping him on his thigh but he climbs and doesn't listen he doesn't ever want to play with me he just wants to constantly be climbing on things and when i do try to play with him he throws a fit and throws things at me I can't take it anymore what can I do to keep my sanity???

Quoting BG Secrets:" I just wanna start off by saying I have never abused my child he has got a pop on his thigh a few times ... [snip!] ... i do try to play with him he throws a fit and throws things at me I can't take it anymore what can I do to keep my sanity???"

Its really really hard to be on Mommy-duty 24/7 indefinitely... for anyone. Youre not alone on that one at all.
What do you do when he sleeps? Can you use that time to be good to yourself- even if its just long hot showers with really yummy soaps?
And I think you should tell your SO how you feel. Like really sit him down with the express intent of telling him about this. Dont be mad, dont be accusatory, just be open- say "look, this is exhausting me, and I need a break. In order for me to be able to keep being the primary parent, I have to have some time off" - and then ask him for something specific. "I want to go to the movies with so-and-so on Saturday, can we make that work so you can have the baby?" - or whatever it is you want. To sleep in one day, etc.
Sometimes, as moms, we forget to ask for ourselves.... and if we dont ask, a lot of the time, we dont get. But lots of the time, if we DO ask, they have absolutely no problem giving us what we need.

About your baby- please dont pop him on the legs anymore. Hes just exploring, and learning, about his surroundings, and his body. With a little inventiveness, you can usually baby-proof your house well enough that they cant really climb on things...... and anything he still climbs on, try just taking him down, and not saying anything to him. Just walk over, scoop him up, put him on the floor, hand him a toy, and walk away. Eventually he will stop even trying to climb like that.