re: Deagan's Birth Story [LONG]

omg thank god i have my own office at work id be disturbing everyone around me with my sobbing i miscarried at 7w1d...never got a chance to hear a heartbeat....sorry is just a word my heart aches for you i dont knw how i would be able to go on with everyday life having to hold my child that i carride for 23 weeks and then have to give him back to god...id be angry and upset...but it looks liek your in good spirits and wishing you happy moments filled with good memories of your son

i somehow stubbled upon this. i cried my eyes out. i gave birth to my son at 20 weeks he was already gone by the time i gave birth to him. it was the hardest thing i ever had to do and i held him in my arms for about 9 hours knowing that i would never be able to hold him again. no mother should ever go through this. i am so sorry and i wish you all the luck in the world on ttc. after i lost logan (thats what i named him) i got pregnant again heard the heartbeat at 7 weeks went in for my ultrasound at 13 weeks as i looked at the screen i knew right away and for a min my heart actually stopped beating i lost another baby. i then said that i never wanted to try again i didnt understand how i could i had 2 perfect pregnancies and then lose 2. so i went on bc and stopped trying then in sept. we took a trip to disney world for 1 week when we came back i was so busy with my son starting school and going back to work i didnt relize i missed my period. so me and my daughetr took a walk to cvs to get a test. i couldnt believe my eyes i was pregnant and then as you said your excited at first and then it all hits you. everything was going fine until 16 weeks bleed alittle doc did ultrasound baby was fine found out early its a girl! after that every appt went great. then at 32 weeks baby was measuring small diagnosed with iugr. intrauterine growth restriction was told baby might have to come as early as 34 weeks i cried and cried. weely nsts and ultrasounds baby failing almost everytime stayed weeks being monitered in the hospital i got her all the way to 39 weeks i finally made it june 6th 2012 i had a 6lb 7oz baby girl. i always wanted 4 kids but i have to say i cant go through another pregnany scared to death everyday and the thought of another loss would kill me so im just not gonna try. i will pray for you and im sorry for writhing this so long after it just reminded me of what happened to me.

This is the most beautifully written thing I have ever read. I admire you so much. And your family. And your precious Deagan. You are SO strong, words can't even say.

Thanks, ladies. It's shocking to me that it has been 10 months (today, actually) since he was born. My older son still sleeps with his "brother doll" (a stuffed angel) and I still can't pick an urn for his ashes. Life goes on, but some things will never be the same.

Quoting P Pickle Pants:" Thanks, ladies. It's shocking to me that it has been 10 months (today, actually) since he was born. My ... [snip!] ... doll" (a stuffed angel) and I still can't pick an urn for his ashes. Life goes on, but some things will never be the same."

yeah my son loves the teddy bear its called molly bears, its a weighted stuffed animal i had the funeral home leave out a little bit of his ashes and i put them in the teddy bear and sewed it up. i found a ceramic teddy bear urn. it fits him perfectly i love it he is my little teddy bear. again im so sorry, its hard i lost logan 11-10-10 and i cry all the time i have his little foot prints tattooed on my wrist.

Omg, this is the most beautifully written thing I've ever read. I'm sorry for your loss. You are a strong woman to keep going and keep trying. Good luck.

Quoting B&R + J:" Omg, this is the most beautifully written thing I've ever read. I'm sorry for your loss. You are a strong woman to keep going and keep trying. Good luck. "

I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant again. I'm hoping that the 5 pills that I take EVERY day will keep me this way for a good long while.

Quoting P Pickle Pants:" I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant again. I'm hoping that the 5 pills that I take EVERY day will keep me this way for a good long while."

Aw, congrats!

Quoting B&R + J:" Aw, congrats! "

Thanks. I'm freaking out... a lot.

But I'm determined to fight for this one tooth and nail!

6 weeks and have a lil belly starting to form!

Most of the story reminded me of myself, with my first baby.
I went in and the docs tried to find a heart beat and couldn't, so they said they had to send me in for an ultrasound. At 10 weeks i swear i felt it move. My ultra sound said i had no baby and the sac was no bigger then 9 weeks. I also wished to to be a mistake, a bad dream. but then the blood came.
And some of the story sounds like me with this one, i made it, have pics, seen the heart beat, hearing it picked up on a doppler at 11 weeks. But, i'm not as excited, with my first appointment, i was terrified to look at the screen, in fact, i looked away when they started it, i only looked when my boyfriend smiled at the screen and told me to look.

I cant stand spammers!!!

Please don't spam my thread about my son dying, sickos!

this was beautiful. That you've taken the expierence and made it positive, and are able to share it, is beautiful. i admire your strength, and your family's strength as well.

That is the most beautiful yet heartbreaking story I've ever read. You are one strong lady, I won't tell you how you must of felt because I haven't got one idea. I hope in the future, you'll be able to have another beautiful child.
I wish you all the luck in the world, I know this is a whole year late but I came across your page.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mickayla Rosie:</b>" That is the most beautiful yet heartbreaking story I've ever read. You are one strong lady, I won't tell ... [snip!] ... another beautiful child. I wish you all the luck in the world, I know this is a whole year late but I came across your page."</blockquote>



Thank you. We're still learning to cope. But we're hoping the new baby will make it to term and help heal at least the parts that have ached for a baby for years, even I we'll always have an empty place where Deagan should be.