re: Deagan's Birth Story [LONG]

I don't even have words. I'm praying and crying for you.

I got half way through, but couldn't finish it. You write so beautifully. My heart goes out to you, mama.

Aww, P! That was so beautiful. he is truly a little miracle. You can rest easy knowing he's above, watching you, protecting his brother. If through words, you could express your love for him this strongly, there's no doubt he felt that love in your arms <3

Quoting Vindictive:" I got half way through, but couldn't finish it. You write so beautifully. My heart goes out to you, mama."

I would never expect you to make it all the way through that given that you're going through this right along with me. Hell, I'm fairly sure I'd never make it through your birth story if you wrote it all out now.

Although--- I didn't cry when writing it, but I do when I re-read it. Writing it out, though, was very cathartic for me. I need to remember how much writing helps me. I always seem to rediscover my talent right after a tragedy. If I ever become a writer, it'll be the most depressing book ever!

P, what a wonderful writer you are and even more what an amazing mom and wife. You will always carry Deagan in your heart and he will always be there watching over all of you.

Thanks, ladies. The support from all of you and from our friends and family has been amazing and come a long way in helping us cope.

P, I am so sorry for you loss. That was beautifully written, made me cry like crazy. You are an amazing mom and woman.

Quoting P the Preemie Mama:" Thanks, ladies. The support from all of you and from our friends and family has been amazing and come a long way in helping us cope."

That's what we're all here for. <3

Tears fill my eyes and gently roll down my face reading this and absorbing every word that you have written and hurting for you, but knowing the hurt I am feeling is nothing compared to what you have been through! I am so incredibly sorry that you have had to go through this, not once but twice.

You are an amazingly strong person and have a huge heart! I pray that you never have to go through this again and will be blessed with a HAPPY HEALTHY baby soon!

Keep your head up and know that we are all here for you when you need someone to talk to.

I am so so sorry P. My heart breaks for you and your family. Deagan is one very very loved angel baby.

I thought once I finished sobbing I would think of how to write what I want to say, but I still can't find a way to put it into words. I'm so sorry for your loss and so inspired by your faith. Thank you for writing deagan's story!

P, I have sat here searching for the words that could possibly show you how much love and sadness fills my heart for you and your family, but I don't think any combination would ever come close to expressing what your story has made me feel.

Please just know that you are loved. You have 4 beautiful children, 3 of which were just too perfect to remain here on earth and that God will bless you because your faith is so unwavering.

Your heart will guide the way.

Quoting P the Preemie Mama:" You don't go into this thinking "I'm going to lose this baby." Hell, when you see two lines on a ... [snip!] ... me enough places for it to go to hold it all. Until then, I sit here aching with so much love that I may burst at the seams."

Thanks for sharing this P! Love you so friend!!! You are amazing and strong, this was so beautifully written, I smiled and I cried. My heart aches for you!

I'm so so so very sorry for your loss  

Quoting Team (missing Kobe):" Thanks for sharing this P! Love you so friend!!! You are amazing and strong, this was so beautifully written, I smiled and I cried. My heart aches for you!"

Thanks, love.

Writing it all out helps me organize my thoughts about it a little. My thoughts are so jumbled and whirring around at 100 miles an hour inside my head, so putting them down where they can't move keeps me sane.

And there's a lot about D's life and my pregnancy with him that make me smile. He was a silly little guy and a total turd. He liked to play tricks on the nurses and dance with his toes in uncomfortable places, all before he ever came out. And then, after he was out, he managed to poop on AJ twice AND me once AND pee on both of us in the 40 minutes he was alive. No joke!