Anyone feel like I do?

I honest to God, HATE myself. Everytime I look in the mirror, I am disgusted. I've never been really skinny, except when I was in the 6th grade, after a bad car accident, I was traumatized, and went into an eating disorder, which led to Anorexia.I started gaining weight when I got pregnant with my twins.I gained about 35lbs with them, and have gained even more after I had them. It's been 7 months, and I haven't really lost any weight.
I feel so gross..I'm 5'5 and 170lbs. I've never been this big. I won't even let my fiancee see me naked, and we haven't had sex in about 2 months now, just because I'm so ashamed of myself.
I've been on a constant diet..I try to exercise when I have time, (which isn't much with twins) so I walk with them alot. Nothing seems to be working.
I feel like if I don't get help soon, I'm going to fall back into an eating disorder. I've made myself throw up a lot lately..I feel really guilty everytime I eat.
I HATE myself, and feel like dying sometimes. I know I would never ever kill myself, that's just stupid..but seriously, I have 0 self esteem. I hate everything about my body, and I don't know what to do.
Please don't bash me, I'm just wondering if there's anyone I can relate to..

i feel the same at times. I use to be really skinny before i got pregnant, i loved my body but now i have a flabby belly and big hips and thighs, but its the joys of having a baby lol.

Quoting ♥TwinMommy♥:“ I honest to God, HATE myself. Everytime I look in the mirror, I am disgusted. I've never been really ... [snip!] ... about my body, and I don't know what to do. Please don't bash me, I'm just wondering if there's anyone I can relate to..”

I'm feeding Toula and typing with one hand right now, but I'll write more when I'm done. Just know I feel disgusting too.

I feel like that totally. I had 2 pregnancies back to back. When I first moved to AZ I was 125lbs. Then after my last pregnancy I weigh in now at 200...I feel horrible. I have even had people ask how far along I am

I just thought I'd say that throwing up food doesn't do anything. It won't make you lose weight because by then everything is absorbed.

You truely aren't as educated as you believe you are, yes, throwing up food does a lot. As a matter of fact almost no food absorption gets done in the stomach, the stomach is there to break down your food to better help you absorb your food. Most food absorption gets done in the small intestines and some in the large intestines. Please don't give facts to things you don't know about.

Quoting busylittlebees06:“ You truely aren't as educated as you believe you are, yes, throwing up food does a lot. As a matter of ... [snip!] ... gets done in the small intestines and some in the large intestines. Please don't give facts to things you don't know about.”

From too cute's other posts I believe she's not as smart as she thinks she is as well, but I read that by the time your done with your 10minute waiting period after eating to purge, that your body has already absorbed a quarter to half the calories. Maybe she's thinking about laxatives, those won't really do anything because you've already absorbed the fat from the food that you're going to absorb by the time you shit it out, it doesn't just push all the food and calories out like people assume. To the op, saying you won't kill yourself, Bulimia will kill you, regardless of wether or not you think it will, I was pretty close before I got pregnant and im still having problems from my eating disorder even though I've been eating for 9 months. There's also a certain point of damage where your body won't be able to repair itself anymore.

Okay! I'm back! Sorry I didn't add to my post as I said earlier..when I saw the chance to get some sleep..I went for it! lol. And I'm 5'3 and right now weighing between 160 and 170. Last time I weighed myself I was about 160, but I have a feeling I'm gaining because of how much I'm eating. Before I got pregnant the first time I was 130lbs, when I gave birth I was 160lbs. I lost most of the weight, but gradually gained it back. Then I was 162lbs before I got pregnant this time around, I was 178lbs when I delivered on March 4. I don't think that weight is too bad...but it is bad for someone as short as I am. I've always had big boobs (34dd) and a big butt, and HUGE thighs! (I played ice hockey for manyyyyy years!) But I've let myself go too. I don't think you should hate yourself at all..shit happens to the best of us. And I bet running after your twin boys is exercise enough! lol. But just know that I'm right there with you. I feel HUGE and soo disgusting. I'm embarassed to be naked..and I have a feeling I'll be in a big old one piece this summer. Also, I have AWFUL stretch marks, and my stomach jiggles. Nothing is toned anymore. If you ever want an online workout/diet partner, just let me know! Or if you ever want to talk..feel free to PM me!

Don't worry sweetie you are young the weight will come off soon. You just had twins not that long ago give yourself a bit more time to get back to normal. I am 29 and just had one baby seven months ago, and i feel disgusting too but i know that in time it will come off with some work. The main thing is healthy eating and exercise ( even walking the twins is great) You are a very pretty girl, and you have two beautiful babies, things will get better   Keep your chin up.

Thanks for the replies..I just don't know what to do, I'm majorly depressed. NOTHING is working for me! I'm so fed up.

Just work on losing the weight, a healthy way. that's all you can do girl!! You have 2 beautiful babies...such a great family. You sure are beautiful and from your picture you sure look great, don't look fat to me. Just be greatful that you have 2 healthy babies. Because well, you could've put on all the weight and had no babies...so hang in there!

I feel the same way before i had kids i was 120lbs and now im 220 im so ashamed to even be telling anyone my weight! I hate to look in the mirror everyday i just feel like a bad mom because of how i look  it just sucks but i've been working out doing my billy blanks bootcamp dvd's so hopefully that will help me shed these unwanted lbs! i just want to be skinny again cuz i was happier when i was skinny but im happy now since i have 2 beautiful babies. but i try not to let my hubby see me naked! i just feel like he would be disgusted if he seen me naked even tho he has seen me lately naked i just dont like it. my youngest is 17 months and im still having problems on the weight loss but girl im in the same boat as you  so hopefully we can shed these pounds!